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Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
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Anonymous
Don't always believe what you find on Wikipedia (anyone can edit and post incorrect information). My point was that the Wikipedia info about the author's Down syndrome daughter was inaccurate. The source used by Wikipedia says that the author has three sisters (a physician, lawyer, and Down syndrome winner of gold medals from special olympics) And just because you brought it up, my eastern European parents did push me hard, which is how I ended up with a phd from the top school in my field and an exciting career... |
Anonymous
wow! a ph.d.! from the top school! and an exciting career! |
Anonymous
LOL I can't believe a phd from wherever would just read wikipedia and quote it w/o checking out the information. FAIL! |
Anonymous
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23:25 and 23:43 PP here. I do have a pet peeve for people believing everything they read on Wikipedia. I just wanted to point out that the info about Amy Chua "third daughter" with Down syndrome was incorrect...
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Anonymous
...and I apologize for bringing up my MIT phd 
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Anonymous
She's playing in the recital hall. It's may be but is not necessarily a big deal. Associations of music teachers and other groups rent the hall for student performrances. I played there as a high schooler (although I was less accomplished as a pianist than Amy Chua's daughter, my Korean mother having clearly failed in her duty). |
Anonymous
| I think it is very telling that Amy Chua is a Yale Law School professor. A loon like this would not do well outside of academia. |
Anonymous
| We ask too little of our children. Chinese and Jewish parents have a better approach. Plenty of people who had fun and relaxed childhoods take Xanax and are emotionally stunted. They just don't have good jobs or money either. |
Anonymous
I'm not PP, but I was in the same boat. It's not about the one night. It's about keeping the kid from dating, being too social and getting distracted from her studies. My parents actually said they would let me go to prom, since it was such a big event, but that was after years of no social activities with boys, limited social activities in general, etc. And they would only let me go without a date and I had to be home right after the dance. I decided that I'd rather just stay home. A lot of immigrant parents don't have a realistic view of American culture, so they try to keep their kids from being corrupted. I used to judge, but you know parenting is hard, and they came from a totally different culture - it sounds like an overwhelming transition. I think most everyone is just doing the best they can. Not sure what to think about people like the author, who knows that it's not necessary to parent like this to have good, successful children though! |
Anonymous
My husband is from the middle east and the culture is similar. I assumed (maybe incorrectly) that it's because if you don't get an excellent education there, you are very likely poor the rest of your life. My husband used to compete "nationally" for scores K-12, and higher education was free, although extremely difficult to get into. Your scores had to be outstanding. A good education is the difference between living in slum like conditions or driving an S class Mercedes and living in a villa. |
Anonymous
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I just finished "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan", a fictional look at footbinding in China. These moms put their daughters through horrible pain, even risking their lives, for the opportunity of a good marriage later in life. Kind of like female genital mutilation, ensuring that a husband will find the bride appealling someday.... amazing what parents will do to their children "for their own good".
I'm a weak American - I wouldn't even circumcise my son or pierce my daughter's ears! |
Anonymous
| Cuckoo, cuckoo. |
Anonymous
Yeah, it's pretty awful. But these women were part of such a restrictive society. I really think they thought (and likely so!) they were ruining their chances at a good life if they didn't do it. It takes a strong person to say, hey, I don't care if my daughter doesnt' get married, when that's what everyone else has determined is most important. Not saying it's ok, just saying it's not that simple. But, again, once you move to another country and see that things don't have to be done the way they were in your country, I think you should definitely adapt if it seem like a positive change. |
Anonymous
Her *sister*, NOT her child has Downs - from Wikipedia: She has two daughters, Sophia and Louisa. She is the eldest of 4 sisters: Michelle, Katrin, and Cynthia. Katrin is a professor at Stanford University. One sister has Down Syndrome and holds two International Special Olympic gold medals in swimming. |
Anonymous
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I'm just now adding to this thread.
I am Asian-American and I grew up in such a household. It is terrible parenting. I don't know what goes on in that author's household, but my experience felt like verbal abuse. I grew up thinking that being suicidal was normal. I was aware that I was suicidal when I was 11, although it probably started younger. When I went to college, I landed myself in the mental ward of a hospital for a week. It took many years and I did recover from depression. Then I also got PPD after DS was born. Yes, I recovered from that too. PPD felt like hardly nothing compared to the depression during my childhood. Although I'm pretty happy these days, I still have issues. Yes, my accomplishments give my parents bragging rights -- performed piano at Carnegie Hall three times in my teens, PhD, 6 figure salary. But is that really worth making your child feel completely worthless for decades? to the point where she wants to die all the time? You better bet that I'm raising my kids differently. |