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Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
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Anonymous
Jewish parents value education quite a bit also. I went to grad school with some incredibly motivated Jewish students. |
Anonymous
Maybe they are from countries that are at times too hot or cold and are lacking in natural resources. And from cultures that are family oriented and where it is difficult to change one's social class. |
Anonymous
There's a huge emphasis on education as the way to make it in the world. There's also the sense that parents sacrifice all for their children, so the least the children can do is work hard and do their best. Respect for elders is also big, so you are supposed to listen to them and follow what they say when you're young and care for them when they're old. We're second generation (Asian), and I do hope that we will carry on this emphasis on education and respect for elders, but without all the stress. Like, I won't force my kids to do xyz just because I said, and I won't take it personally if they don't go pre-med in college. I will expect them to do their best at whatever they are interested in though. And I do plan to care for my parents as they age, and although we won't (hopefully) need financial help from our kids when we are old, I do hope to instill in our children the importance of taking care of family. |
Anonymous
Are you kidding? What a shame that the world is populated by Philistines. Because of her hard work, she was able to share the gift of great music with large numbers of people and thereby make their lives more beautiful, more meaningful. Whether or not she ever makes money doing it is beside the point. Signed, A lawyer whose work never makes anybody's life more beautiful or meaningful and who wishes she had been a good enough musician to perform publicly |
Anonymous
I'm chinese and so, I think that a big reason why this phenom is more common among asians is because asians generally have a more difficult time showing emotion than others. You also must take into consideration what another PP said - limited resources; my mother grew up in asia where you had to test to get into public schools starting in middle school and you were ranked in your schools. Not everyone had a school to go to and only the very best in the country went to the best high school. You put those two together and you get a lethal combination. |
Anonymous
Chinese American PP here who was disgusted with the essay. I think in Asian cultures there is a LOT of respect/duty to parents. Additionally, there's the concept of "saving face." My parents always told me that I represented the family and possibly all Asian people so when I failed, it would bring dishonor to the family. There's also the immigrant piece-- how many times did I hear about how much they sacrificed to come to the US and I had to make the most of it. |
Anonymous
money (and a lesser degree power). in a less mobile society with large population, education gets you opportunities to become rich and sometimes powerful. don't think for a second money is not the ultimate motivation behind education emphasis. else there'd be 10 Chinese Literature Laureate already. |
Anonymous
| I believe Hilary Clinton's father remarked that maybe her school wasn't hard enough when she brought home all A's. (I believe Martha Stewart's father was similarly hard on her.) Sure she made a lot out of her life but she doesn't seem happy. I kind of think of her and Bill as opposites--people carried Bill on their shoulders to success while Hilary had to claw her way out from under as she was continuously pushed down by others. Bill has charisma and Hilary drive. Many people seem to genuinely like Bill and others seem to really dislike Hilary. |
Anonymous
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This woman has a child with Downs. This makes her parenting style even more sick. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Chua |
Anonymous
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i don't think we can come to conclusions based on the one asian person we knew growing up who was pushed but socially awkward. there is good and bad to both chinese/asian and western style of parenting.
my husband and i both grew up in an asian immigrant home with a very similar parenting style, but not as extreme. both of us did very well, ivy graduates, lawyers... and happy.... we have friends, a social life, and i would like to think that we are not socially awkward. i attribute most of our success to our parents, who did push us to reach our potential. at the same time they sacrified A LOT for us...i only hope i can sacrifice as much time and energy to my own kids. (as for the hillary/ bill comment - i think a lot of the dislike towards hillary has to do with her being a woman. ) |
Anonymous
Wow, I totally missed this. This even makes it more sad-- she lavished all this crazy attention on the 2 "smart" kids and then what did she do for the DS kid? (Apparently, she also applied some of the same techniques since it notes that the DS won gold medals in swimming in the special olympics). |
Anonymous
I don't understand the rationale for not being allowed to go prom. It's only one night for god's sake. |
Anonymous
In the United States, selective immigration is also at play. It is really difficult to enter the United States from China or India unless you are highly educated. You have to jump through so many hoops and be really, really determined. If you're the kind of person that would bust your a** to get to the states, you probably have really high expectations of your kids. Funny, on another thread I mentioned that my parents (Indian immigrants) didn't let us skip school for no reason because they really valued our education. I was immediately accused of being one of these robot kids that can't think for themselves. I'm happy to say it's not the case - the dynamic was different in my family. My dad grew up dirt poor, mom was middle class. My parents has really high expectations of us - and their confidence in our abilities did help push us a long. They spent hours helping us with homework if we didn't understand it, but also didn't want us to be so burned out - my senior year in high school my dad suggested that i drop one of my AP classes so that I wouldn't be so stressed. All of us turned out just fine - a trial lawyer, a University professor and a doctor. We are all happily married and have lots of friends and interests outside our jobs. I think there are plenty of immigrant families like mine that value hard work and remind their children of their incredible luck to be raised in this country, yet do not berate and demean their children the way Ms. Chua does. |
Anonymous
Actually, one of the author's sisters (not her daughter) has Down syndrome and won gold medals in the special olympics:http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/01/08/RVAE1H3BSG.DTL |
Anonymous
Can you even read? Your parent's didn't push you hard enough I guess. |