Out of town in laws attendance at birthdays

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since they’re 4 hours away do they expect to spend the night at your house?

Yes of course. My in-laws are in their 70’s and live 3 hours away. They stay with us for at least a few days when they come over for the kids bday parities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since they’re 4 hours away do they expect to spend the night at your house?

Yes of course. My in-laws are in their 70’s and live 3 hours away. They stay with us for at least a few days when they come over for the kids bday parities.

Are you OP? Let that troll come back and speak for herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about men versus women and what's a man's responsibility.

OP did not want her ILs there. That's why they weren't invited. Maybe her husband didn't want them either. But she didn't say that. She made perfectly clear that SHE took the decision not to invite them.

You can't pin this on the husband just because he's a man.

Exactly. OP made the executive decision and gave her reasoning: dd didn't specifically ask for them, they live 4 hours away, they will see them next weekend. So, no invite was extended and then the payback came when they found out and were pissed. Maybe they would have come anyway, that should have been their decision. It would have cost nothing to invite them then you come out smelling like a rose b/c you tried to be inclusive and gracious.

It's a universal truth that's it always better to be invited than not even if you can't or won't be able to make it. Grown women get upset about these things when they get left out of the neighborhood get togethers, luncheons, birthday dinners, etc. This isn't an alien concept.

It’s always the same grown women who get upset: the difficult ones that guilt people and make everything about them. Do people really want to be somewhere they’re not wanted but everyone’s grinning and bearing it? I don’t. If I’m not wanted, I’m not going.

OP didn't say they weren't wanted she played mind reader and decided they wouldn't make the drive so didn't deserve an invite.

Maybe. But people whose company is usually wanted don’t get offended like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about men versus women and what's a man's responsibility.

OP did not want her ILs there. That's why they weren't invited. Maybe her husband didn't want them either. But she didn't say that. She made perfectly clear that SHE took the decision not to invite them.

You can't pin this on the husband just because he's a man.

Exactly. OP made the executive decision and gave her reasoning: dd didn't specifically ask for them, they live 4 hours away, they will see them next weekend. So, no invite was extended and then the payback came when they found out and were pissed. Maybe they would have come anyway, that should have been their decision. It would have cost nothing to invite them then you come out smelling like a rose b/c you tried to be inclusive and gracious.

It's a universal truth that's it always better to be invited than not even if you can't or won't be able to make it. Grown women get upset about these things when they get left out of the neighborhood get togethers, luncheons, birthday dinners, etc. This isn't an alien concept.

It’s always the same grown women who get upset: the difficult ones that guilt people and make everything about them. Do people really want to be somewhere they’re not wanted but everyone’s grinning and bearing it? I don’t. If I’m not wanted, I’m not going.

OP didn't say they weren't wanted she played mind reader and decided they wouldn't make the drive so didn't deserve an invite.

Maybe. But people whose company is usually wanted don’t get offended like this.

Based on what? People are generally happy about not being invited to parties? Do you just make crap up as you go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can always count on DCUM trolls coming out of the wood work and bashing ILs for shits and giggles.

Look more closely at OP's first post. She didn't just invite her parents and exclude her ILs. She invited her entire family and excluded his entire family, and she did it on purpose. It doesn't matter what her reasoning was, and it doesn't matter what her husband did or didn't do--this is on her.

On top of that, SHE made the decision not to invite them. That's perfectly clear from her first post.

She made a piss poor decision. You don't have a birthday party for a 7 year old and invite your entire friggin family and exclude your spouse's entire family. Be serious.

Right??! OP that really was horribly rude and thoughtless

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about men versus women and what's a man's responsibility.

OP did not want her ILs there. That's why they weren't invited. Maybe her husband didn't want them either. But she didn't say that. She made perfectly clear that SHE took the decision not to invite them.

You can't pin this on the husband just because he's a man.

Exactly. OP made the executive decision and gave her reasoning: dd didn't specifically ask for them, they live 4 hours away, they will see them next weekend. So, no invite was extended and then the payback came when they found out and were pissed. Maybe they would have come anyway, that should have been their decision. It would have cost nothing to invite them then you come out smelling like a rose b/c you tried to be inclusive and gracious.

It's a universal truth that's it always better to be invited than not even if you can't or won't be able to make it. Grown women get upset about these things when they get left out of the neighborhood get togethers, luncheons, birthday dinners, etc. This isn't an alien concept.

It’s always the same grown women who get upset: the difficult ones that guilt people and make everything about them. Do people really want to be somewhere they’re not wanted but everyone’s grinning and bearing it? I don’t. If I’m not wanted, I’m not going.

OP didn't say they weren't wanted she played mind reader and decided they wouldn't make the drive so didn't deserve an invite.

Maybe. But people whose company is usually wanted don’t get offended like this.

Based on what? People are generally happy about not being invited to parties? Do you just make crap up as you go?

How many parties or events do you and your friends organize? It’s like practicing medicine. You know who’s a doctor, because they’re not afraid to break a bone. You know who’s wanted because they’re not afraid of being left off a guest list. All school friend party? Enjoy yourselves. Only daughters no daughter-in-laws? Hope it’s a great bonding moment. Want to go with your closest friends and I’m not one? We all do sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about men versus women and what's a man's responsibility.

OP did not want her ILs there. That's why they weren't invited. Maybe her husband didn't want them either. But she didn't say that. She made perfectly clear that SHE took the decision not to invite them.

You can't pin this on the husband just because he's a man.

Exactly. OP made the executive decision and gave her reasoning: dd didn't specifically ask for them, they live 4 hours away, they will see them next weekend. So, no invite was extended and then the payback came when they found out and were pissed. Maybe they would have come anyway, that should have been their decision. It would have cost nothing to invite them then you come out smelling like a rose b/c you tried to be inclusive and gracious.

It's a universal truth that's it always better to be invited than not even if you can't or won't be able to make it. Grown women get upset about these things when they get left out of the neighborhood get togethers, luncheons, birthday dinners, etc. This isn't an alien concept.

It’s always the same grown women who get upset: the difficult ones that guilt people and make everything about them. Do people really want to be somewhere they’re not wanted but everyone’s grinning and bearing it? I don’t. If I’m not wanted, I’m not going.

OP didn't say they weren't wanted she played mind reader and decided they wouldn't make the drive so didn't deserve an invite.

Maybe. But people whose company is usually wanted don’t get offended like this.

Based on what? People are generally happy about not being invited to parties? Do you just make crap up as you go?

How many parties or events do you and your friends organize? It’s like practicing medicine. You know who’s a doctor, because they’re not afraid to break a bone. You know who’s wanted because they’re not afraid of being left off a guest list. All school friend party? Enjoy yourselves. Only daughters no daughter-in-laws? Hope it’s a great bonding moment. Want to go with your closest friends and I’m not one? We all do sometimes.

WTF are you talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about men versus women and what's a man's responsibility.

OP did not want her ILs there. That's why they weren't invited. Maybe her husband didn't want them either. But she didn't say that. She made perfectly clear that SHE took the decision not to invite them.

You can't pin this on the husband just because he's a man.

Exactly. OP made the executive decision and gave her reasoning: dd didn't specifically ask for them, they live 4 hours away, they will see them next weekend. So, no invite was extended and then the payback came when they found out and were pissed. Maybe they would have come anyway, that should have been their decision. It would have cost nothing to invite them then you come out smelling like a rose b/c you tried to be inclusive and gracious.

It's a universal truth that's it always better to be invited than not even if you can't or won't be able to make it. Grown women get upset about these things when they get left out of the neighborhood get togethers, luncheons, birthday dinners, etc. This isn't an alien concept.

It’s always the same grown women who get upset: the difficult ones that guilt people and make everything about them. Do people really want to be somewhere they’re not wanted but everyone’s grinning and bearing it? I don’t. If I’m not wanted, I’m not going.

OP didn't say they weren't wanted she played mind reader and decided they wouldn't make the drive so didn't deserve an invite.

Maybe. But people whose company is usually wanted don’t get offended like this.

Based on what? People are generally happy about not being invited to parties? Do you just make crap up as you go?

How many parties or events do you and your friends organize? It’s like practicing medicine. You know who’s a doctor, because they’re not afraid to break a bone. You know who’s wanted because they’re not afraid of being left off a guest list. All school friend party? Enjoy yourselves. Only daughters no daughter-in-laws? Hope it’s a great bonding moment. Want to go with your closest friends and I’m not one? We all do sometimes.

WTF are you talking about.

IYKYK

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about men versus women and what's a man's responsibility.

OP did not want her ILs there. That's why they weren't invited. Maybe her husband didn't want them either. But she didn't say that. She made perfectly clear that SHE took the decision not to invite them.

You can't pin this on the husband just because he's a man.

Exactly. OP made the executive decision and gave her reasoning: dd didn't specifically ask for them, they live 4 hours away, they will see them next weekend. So, no invite was extended and then the payback came when they found out and were pissed. Maybe they would have come anyway, that should have been their decision. It would have cost nothing to invite them then you come out smelling like a rose b/c you tried to be inclusive and gracious.

It's a universal truth that's it always better to be invited than not even if you can't or won't be able to make it. Grown women get upset about these things when they get left out of the neighborhood get togethers, luncheons, birthday dinners, etc. This isn't an alien concept.

It’s always the same grown women who get upset: the difficult ones that guilt people and make everything about them. Do people really want to be somewhere they’re not wanted but everyone’s grinning and bearing it? I don’t. If I’m not wanted, I’m not going.

OP didn't say they weren't wanted she played mind reader and decided they wouldn't make the drive so didn't deserve an invite.

Maybe. But people whose company is usually wanted don’t get offended like this.

Based on what? People are generally happy about not being invited to parties? Do you just make crap up as you go?

How many parties or events do you and your friends organize? It’s like practicing medicine. You know who’s a doctor, because they’re not afraid to break a bone. You know who’s wanted because they’re not afraid of being left off a guest list. All school friend party? Enjoy yourselves. Only daughters no daughter-in-laws? Hope it’s a great bonding moment. Want to go with your closest friends and I’m not one? We all do sometimes.

WTF are you talking about.

IYKYK

No, not really. You sound demented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since they’re 4 hours away do they expect to spend the night at your house?

Yes of course. My in-laws are in their 70’s and live 3 hours away. They stay with us for at least a few days when they come over for the kids bday parities.

Are you OP? Let that troll come back and speak for herself.

Maybe she's too busy sticking pins in a doll that looks suspiciously like her MIL. Or at church. Give the poor thing some grace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since they’re 4 hours away do they expect to spend the night at your house?

Yes of course. My in-laws are in their 70’s and live 3 hours away. They stay with us for at least a few days when they come over for the kids bday parities.

Are you OP? Let that troll come back and speak for herself.

Maybe she's too busy sticking pins in a doll that looks suspiciously like her MIL. Or at church. Give the poor thing some grace.

I think she ran off to start the new thread about hating her BIL and wanting to skip his wedding.

[Anonymous]

If these ILs truly drove in at the drop of a hat, made themselves useful, and were delightful to be around and took care of themselves, they would have been invited. The OP wouldn’t have thought about it. The fact that they were not and lost their minds tells me everything I need to know about them, especially since they were going to see the kid the following weekend, Also, a seventh birthday is not some major milestone. We invited out of town grandparents for first birthday, Christening, that kind of thing. We did not invite for kindergarten graduation, random number birthdays, etc, and no one got upset. We planned visits when it worked for everyone because visits meant that someone was staying somewhere for a few days and would need more time and planning because it would be a lot of togetherness when there were many other things going on. Kids were happy because “two cakes! More balloons!” and the activity was centered on the grandparents and grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If these ILs truly drove in at the drop of a hat, made themselves useful, and were delightful to be around and took care of themselves, they would have been invited. The OP wouldn’t have thought about it. The fact that they were not and lost their minds tells me everything I need to know about them, especially since they were going to see the kid the following weekend, Also, a seventh birthday is not some major milestone. We invited out of town grandparents for first birthday, Christening, that kind of thing. We did not invite for kindergarten graduation, random number birthdays, etc, and no one got upset. We planned visits when it worked for everyone because visits meant that someone was staying somewhere for a few days and would need more time and planning because it would be a lot of togetherness when there were many other things going on. Kids were happy because “two cakes! More balloons!” and the activity was centered on the grandparents and grandchildren.

Ok. 7yr olds mostly just want their friends at the party but OP is the one who decided it was friends and SOME family. She knew what she was doing and now is like "woe is me! ILs are mad!" as if this was unforeseeable. She made her bed and can lie in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If these ILs truly drove in at the drop of a hat, made themselves useful, and were delightful to be around and took care of themselves, they would have been invited. The OP wouldn’t have thought about it. The fact that they were not and lost their minds tells me everything I need to know about them, especially since they were going to see the kid the following weekend, Also, a seventh birthday is not some major milestone. We invited out of town grandparents for first birthday, Christening, that kind of thing. We did not invite for kindergarten graduation, random number birthdays, etc, and no one got upset. We planned visits when it worked for everyone because visits meant that someone was staying somewhere for a few days and would need more time and planning because it would be a lot of togetherness when there were many other things going on. Kids were happy because “two cakes! More balloons!” and the activity was centered on the grandparents and grandchildren.

Ok. 7yr olds mostly just want their friends at the party but OP is the one who decided it was friends and SOME family. She knew what she was doing and now is like "woe is me! ILs are mad!" as if this was unforeseeable. She made her bed and can lie in it.

7yo wanted cousins. The kid ones, not the preschool ones.

[Anonymous]

OP, the fact is that your MIL will forever be comparing how much your parents are involved in your kids’ lives due to being local.

My parents live very nearby. MIL lives about an hour away. MIL is so jealous she can’t see straight. When DC was younger it was very stressful for DH and me, always trying to keep the peace.

Now that DC is a teen and MIL has blown up her relationship a million and one times with DH, it’s not much of an issue. But that competition of the MIL will always, always be there. Good luck.