If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?

[Anonymous]

The total lack of respect for elders is on full display in this thread. Mother’s Day should be about honoring mothers, not a “me me me” about who is or is not “in the trenches.” Get over yourselves and celebrate your mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on very good term with my MIL. She lives 15 minutes away and that comes with its pros and cons. Now that we have our own kids, I would love to spend mother's day at our house, but she still expects that we all go to her house on Sunday. My husband is conflict averse and does not want to "rock the boat."

I know, I'm a little petty and feel sad that the day isn't "about me." But I've been buying MIL her mother's day gift (my husband would never remember or care about it) for over ten years now, and now that I'm in the thick of raising young kids, I'm tired. I just want to stay in my own house that day, spend it with the kids, and maybe get a few hours to myself. I did tell DH this but somehow he sees this as a big disruption to "the way things have been" and is afraid his mom will take offense if we don't show up at her place to celebrate her on Sunday.

Those of you that have this living arrangement, what do you do?

Frankly, if you were my daughter, I would knock some sense into you. Someone is cooking you and your brood a meal and you just have to show up and stuff your mouth with food? What is your issue?

When my DD got married, I told her that I will be damned if she has to accommodate me for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, Father's Day etc. Her MIL is into all of this - more power to her. She (the MIL) is a sweet lady and wants to do all of this. As for myself - lets all go to a restaurant a couple days before or after the "event" so that we all can chill out, order what we want to order and be relaxed.

People like this PP are the worst. Think they are so low key, but turns out they don’t have much empathy or understanding.

I am low key precisely because I cannot empathize with stupid women who just bring everyone down. If I started empathizing with you, I would have your mental illness too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really seems for many Mother's Day is actually Grandmother's Day! How ridiculous of older women to not make way for the younger ones with their demands and expectations!

Have you met either Boomers or Millennials? Everything in this entire thread comes down to one or the other of those generations being self-centered narcissists.

Let me guess: Gen X? Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The total lack of respect for elders is on full display in this thread. Mother’s Day should be about honoring mothers, not a “me me me” about who is or is not “in the trenches.” Get over yourselves and celebrate your mothers.

Respect is a two-way street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The total lack of respect for elders is on full display in this thread. Mother’s Day should be about honoring mothers, not a “me me me” about who is or is not “in the trenches.” Get over yourselves and celebrate your mothers.

Mother's Day is not meant to be some kind of "respect elders" day. It's for moms to get a day of from a daily grind. You have no grind. Your kids are adults, you're retired and you have nothing to do. No young woman wants to come and "celebrate" it with you by circling around. You get over yourself and go celebrate the young moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The total lack of respect for elders is on full display in this thread. Mother’s Day should be about honoring mothers, not a “me me me” about who is or is not “in the trenches.” Get over yourselves and celebrate your mothers.

Mother's Day is not meant to be some kind of "respect elders" day. It's for moms to get a day of from a daily grind. You have no grind. Your kids are adults, you're retired and you have nothing to do. No young woman wants to come and "celebrate" it with you by circling around. You get over yourself and go celebrate the young moms.

This is a new rule made up by self-obsessed millennial women who don’t understand that they’re not special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The total lack of respect for elders is on full display in this thread. Mother’s Day should be about honoring mothers, not a “me me me” about who is or is not “in the trenches.” Get over yourselves and celebrate your mothers.

Mother's Day is not meant to be some kind of "respect elders" day. It's for moms to get a day of from a daily grind. You have no grind. Your kids are adults, you're retired and you have nothing to do. No young woman wants to come and "celebrate" it with you by circling around. You get over yourself and go celebrate the young moms.

This is a new rule made up by self-obsessed millennial women who don’t understand that they’re not special.

It looks like the boomer women like you don't understand that they're not special. It's the younger women's turn now! They're the ones who have young kids and would appreciate a day off from the grind! But look at you, not only are you not helping the younger women out, you're demanding they add catering to you to their schedule in addition to catering to the kids and a wuss husband!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The total lack of respect for elders is on full display in this thread. Mother’s Day should be about honoring mothers, not a “me me me” about who is or is not “in the trenches.” Get over yourselves and celebrate your mothers.

Mother's Day is not meant to be some kind of "respect elders" day. It's for moms to get a day of from a daily grind. You have no grind. Your kids are adults, you're retired and you have nothing to do. No young woman wants to come and "celebrate" it with you by circling around. You get over yourself and go celebrate the young moms.

This is a new rule made up by self-obsessed millennial women who don’t understand that they’re not special.

It looks like the boomer women like you don't understand that they're not special. It's the younger women's turn now! They're the ones who have young kids and would appreciate a day off from the grind! But look at you, not only are you not helping the younger women out, you're demanding they add catering to you to their schedule in addition to catering to the kids and a wuss husband!

Mother’s Day is for all moms, not just young moms. This generation is the first to decide that once they have a child they’re no longer obligated to celebrate the older generation. It’s pure laziness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do want a day to celebrate me, but I don't care when it is. So long as my DH and kids have planned a day/meal to celebrate me, I'm ok with going to MIL/mother's to celebrate them. In my MIL's case, she will certainly choose an activity I do NOT want to do on Mother's Day. So, I tell myself this isn't my Mother's Day and I'm 100% fine with it. I don't need to cause a scene. Now, if DH/kids tried to act like MIL's mother's day activity was also MY Mother's Day, I would have a big issue.

As an aside - I would stop managing her gift. That's for DH to do. In our family, DH does all the mothers day cards/gifts and I do all the Father's Day ones (ie, DH does not need to coordinate anything for father's day).

Perfect response.

I didn't grow up celebrating Mother's Day, so I didn't care that we weren't making a big fuss over me, but I didn't love having to wrangle little kids to see my MIL. I used Saturday as my day of self-indulgence, and then we did Sunday Mother's Day with the ILs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The total lack of respect for elders is on full display in this thread. Mother’s Day should be about honoring mothers, not a “me me me” about who is or is not “in the trenches.” Get over yourselves and celebrate your mothers.

Mother's Day is not meant to be some kind of "respect elders" day. It's for moms to get a day of from a daily grind. You have no grind. Your kids are adults, you're retired and you have nothing to do. No young woman wants to come and "celebrate" it with you by circling around. You get over yourself and go celebrate the young moms.

It's a day for card makers and retailers to make money, like Halloween and Valentine's Day. I told my family to ignore it, or maybe to order take out food for dinner. I'm too old to want stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The total lack of respect for elders is on full display in this thread. Mother’s Day should be about honoring mothers, not a “me me me” about who is or is not “in the trenches.” Get over yourselves and celebrate your mothers.

Mother's Day is not meant to be some kind of "respect elders" day. It's for moms to get a day of from a daily grind. You have no grind. Your kids are adults, you're retired and you have nothing to do. No young woman wants to come and "celebrate" it with you by circling around. You get over yourself and go celebrate the young moms.

Actually, the older I get, the more I appreciate my mom and everything she’s done for me and sacrificed for me.

Being in the trenches doesn’t make anyone more deserving of being celebrated. Remember, it’s just a phase over a long life. Moms of all ages have been through those same trenches too plus a heck of a lot more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really seems for many Mother's Day is actually Grandmother's Day! How ridiculous of older women to not make way for the younger ones with their demands and expectations!

Have you met either Boomers or Millennials? Everything in this entire thread comes down to one or the other of those generations being self-centered narcissists.

Let me guess: Gen X? Lol

No, Gen Beta, but I can already see the obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who are very confused, Grandparents Day is in October

Can we please promote grandparents day?? Once you become a grandparent you get booted off Mother’s Day to the more esteemed grandparents day.

So many older women wish they were grandmas and aren’t, so this is a pretty big deal.

No, not another Hallmark holiday. I see my grandkids regularly and don’t care one bit about Mother’s Day. Women, grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The total lack of respect for elders is on full display in this thread. Mother’s Day should be about honoring mothers, not a “me me me” about who is or is not “in the trenches.” Get over yourselves and celebrate your mothers.

Mother's Day is not meant to be some kind of "respect elders" day. It's for moms to get a day of from a daily grind. You have no grind. Your kids are adults, you're retired and you have nothing to do. No young woman wants to come and "celebrate" it with you by circling around. You get over yourself and go celebrate the young moms.

Actually, the older I get, the more I appreciate my mom and everything she’s done for me and sacrificed for me.

Being in the trenches doesn’t make anyone more deserving of being celebrated. Remember, it’s just a phase over a long life. Moms of all ages have been through those same trenches too plus a heck of a lot more.

Some have done a lot as moms and grandmas. The issue is that the people who do the most for others keep showing up without asking for praises, which makes you want to praise them more and respect them more. And takers who don’t give demand the most from these same people who always give. It’s not a problem exclusive to Mother’s Day but heightened on that day.

[Anonymous]

Mother’s Day is only stressful because women (young and old) have bought into the social media lie that if their family doesn’t go over the top for them, they must not love them very much. That it’s somehow embarrassing to have to tell other people you “didn’t do anything” for Mother’s Day.

We have always kept all holidays low key and that’s the way we like it. As my kids become teens I find myself needing to convince them that I don’t want or need some over the top Mother’s Day or Birthday just because they see this on social media. I want to eat homemade food and hang out together. Which is what I want to do every weekend anyway. A handwritten card saying you love and appreciate me is lovely.