If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
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Anonymous
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I'm on very good term with my MIL. She lives 15 minutes away and that comes with its pros and cons. Now that we have our own kids, I would love to spend mother's day at our house, but she still expects that we all go to her house on Sunday. My husband is conflict averse and does not want to "rock the boat."
I know, I'm a little petty and feel sad that the day isn't "about me." But I've been buying MIL her mother's day gift (my husband would never remember or care about it) for over ten years now, and now that I'm in the thick of raising young kids, I'm tired. I just want to stay in my own house that day, spend it with the kids, and maybe get a few hours to myself. I did tell DH this but somehow he sees this as a big disruption to "the way things have been" and is afraid his mom will take offense if we don't show up at her place to celebrate her on Sunday. Those of you that have this living arrangement, what do you do? |
Anonymous
| I might take the day and get a massage or go to a movie or something. He can take the kids to see Grandma. |
Anonymous
| I'm sending DH and kids to MILs in the AM while I do wtf I want, then kids, DH and I are going to my fave restaurant for dinner. I'll send her a card. |
Anonymous
| Have your DH take the kids to see his mother for breakfast while you sleep in and have a lazy morning. Then they come home and make dinner and celebrate with you. |
Anonymous
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I live less than 5 minutes from my parents.
Here's what we've done: -celebrate my mom on Saturday -dh, kids and I spend Mother's day at a winery and then dh cooks dinner for us and my parents. (So only dinner with mom on Mother's Day) -Dh takes the kids all day while my mom and I did an activity that the kids were too little for -we met my inlaws halfway to their city (5 hours away, so we drove 2.5 hours) and had a picnic with my MIL In your case, I think you should get a nice breakfast in bed, then dh takes the kids to his mom's house. Then later comes home and you and your family can have a nice dinner. If she asks where you are, he can say you're getting a spa treatment. |
Anonymous
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My Mother's Day will be held at my house, with me organizing and ordering the food, and I have to tolerate my MIL bringing her annoying friend that she considers her plus-one since FIL died.
Sometimes we head into the city to celebrate with our kids, but not this year. |
Anonymous
When my kids were young, husband took kids to see MIL for a meal and I got alone time. Best solution ever. Now that they are older, whatever I want goes. I feel like the active Mother should get priority. But, neither of us take "Hallmark" holidays too seriously. If it works great - if not - do it another day. Yet to celebrate a Valentine's Day here 
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Anonymous
+1 this is the answer. As a mom of young kids, I just wanted time to myself. As a grandma, I want to spend time with my grandchildren - and my kid too but really it's about the grandkids. Totally cool with DIL enjoying some alone time. |
Anonymous
Also, if your MIL is not like this, then I'd make Saturday your day to do whatever you want, sleep late, enjoy some alone time, whatever. Mother's Day doesn't have to be on Sunday. IMO, happy ILs relationships come from not getting focused on things having to happen on one particular date. |
Anonymous
| Time to love the party to your house. |
Anonymous
| I do find this very petty. Grown ass women getting all worked up over a made up holiday to sell cards and flowers. Who cares? |
Anonymous
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I celebrate my Mother's Day on Friday. My son, DIL, DD, son-in-law, my husband, our kids...we all go for dinner together. DH and I pay for it - and we are done. We honor every mom in the family. If uncles, aunts, grandparents, cousins and their families are available - they join us.
We take a lovely family portrait together. No gifts get exchanged. I don't want flowers, cards, blah, blah! Then, on Mother's Day - my kids do what they want to do at their own house. Honor the mom, go to MILs etc etc. I really don't care. I have a good relationship with my family members but I have opted out of occasions that can create strife. As for me and DH - we like to spend time together in a peaceful way. Doing whatever we want to do, going for plays, drives, movies etc. |
Anonymous
Frankly, if you were my daughter, I would knock some sense into you. Someone is cooking you and your brood a meal and you just have to show up and stuff your mouth with food? What is your issue? When my DD got married, I told her that I will be damned if she has to accommodate me for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, Father's Day etc. Her MIL is into all of this - more power to her. She (the MIL) is a sweet lady and wants to do all of this. As for myself - lets all go to a restaurant a couple days before or after the "event" so that we all can chill out, order what we want to order and be relaxed. |
Anonymous
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We don’t spend Mothers Day w MIL |
Anonymous
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I do want a day to celebrate me, but I don't care when it is. So long as my DH and kids have planned a day/meal to celebrate me, I'm ok with going to MIL/mother's to celebrate them. In my MIL's case, she will certainly choose an activity I do NOT want to do on Mother's Day. So, I tell myself this isn't my Mother's Day and I'm 100% fine with it. I don't need to cause a scene. Now, if DH/kids tried to act like MIL's mother's day activity was also MY Mother's Day, I would have a big issue.
As an aside - I would stop managing her gift. That's for DH to do. In our family, DH does all the mothers day cards/gifts and I do all the Father's Day ones (ie, DH does not need to coordinate anything for father's day). |