If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do find this very petty. Grown ass women getting all worked up over a made up holiday to sell cards and flowers. Who cares?

I think it’s petty too. If you want a Mother’s Day for yourself then schedule it for the next Sunday. There’s not even a set date for Mother’s Day, make your own personal date and give your MIL the real one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on very good term with my MIL. She lives 15 minutes away and that comes with its pros and cons. Now that we have our own kids, I would love to spend mother's day at our house, but she still expects that we all go to her house on Sunday. My husband is conflict averse and does not want to "rock the boat."

I know, I'm a little petty and feel sad that the day isn't "about me." But I've been buying MIL her mother's day gift (my husband would never remember or care about it) for over ten years now, and now that I'm in the thick of raising young kids, I'm tired. I just want to stay in my own house that day, spend it with the kids, and maybe get a few hours to myself. I did tell DH this but somehow he sees this as a big disruption to "the way things have been" and is afraid his mom will take offense if we don't show up at her place to celebrate her on Sunday.

Those of you that have this living arrangement, what do you do?

As long as my mother and mother-in-law are alive I consider it their day. If you’re so tired why don’t you ask your husband for some spa days with just you or have him take the kids out while you sleep. On a different day
Also on Mother’s Day after you spent the day with family and your children, when you get home your husband needs to be in charge of the children until bedtime.

Well my grandmas are still alive too. So why am I the only one who has to share my day and cook for everyone?

Nobody has to cook on Mothers Day. Ask your husband to order a catered takeout and go pick it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find this very petty. Grown ass women getting all worked up over a made up holiday to sell cards and flowers. Who cares?

I think it’s petty too. If you want a Mother’s Day for yourself then schedule it for the next Sunday. There’s not even a set date for Mother’s Day, make your own personal date and give your MIL the real one.

Following that logic, why is the mil getting the actual day? Is she petty if she demands it or not?

[Anonymous]

I am in this situation and have 2 kids (in college and high school). It varies. In the past we have done Mother's Day on Saturday with MIL, or done a Mothers Day picnic on Sunday. This year my hs kid has AP exams tomorrow, and I have seen MIL 3x in the past week because she came to Ds's sports games, so we are well caught up. So I requested brunch with ds and dh, and took a walk in our old neighborhood. When we got home dh took flowers and a card over to her. She wasn't home because she rehearses on Sundays for her choir. I texted Happy Mother's Day to a wonderful MIL and grandma. I hate when things have to be exactly the same year to year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in this situation and have 2 kids (in college and high school). It varies. In the past we have done Mother's Day on Saturday with MIL, or done a Mothers Day picnic on Sunday. This year my hs kid has AP exams tomorrow, and I have seen MIL 3x in the past week because she came to Ds's sports games, so we are well caught up. So I requested brunch with ds and dh, and took a walk in our old neighborhood. When we got home dh took flowers and a card over to her. She wasn't home because she rehearses on Sundays for her choir. I texted Happy Mother's Day to a wonderful MIL and grandma. I hate when things have to be exactly the same year to year.

Yeah we just had in laws over for brunch last week and going out to eat for dh’s bday next week so I passed on going to see mil today, dh went with dcs. I guess that makes me rude to some posters but if I went resentfully I’d get called a martyr.

[Anonymous]

I’m firmly of the belief that on Mothers and Father’s Day those actively parenting kids should be prioritized.

I give my parents a call and send flowers but I was raised with parents who helped the kids make breakfast in bed, buy flowers, etc for their spouse rather than the expectation that we would be going over to grandparents’ houses.

Even as a mom of elementary kids, I give extra kudos to the moms in the baby/toddler years when it is most difficult to get time, peace, and rest.

If, in your DHs family, tradition was always to round up the family and visit grandparents and it’s not something he wants to shake up now, I’d have him take the kids as planned and do something nice for myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find this very petty. Grown ass women getting all worked up over a made up holiday to sell cards and flowers. Who cares?

I think it’s petty too. If you want a Mother’s Day for yourself then schedule it for the next Sunday. There’s not even a set date for Mother’s Day, make your own personal date and give your MIL the real one.

Following that logic, why is the mil getting the actual day? Is she petty if she demands it or not?

I think the PP was being sarcastic

[Anonymous]

The senior mothers have rank. All come to them with gifts and flowers in hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m firmly of the belief that on Mothers and Father’s Day those actively parenting kids should be prioritized.

I give my parents a call and send flowers but I was raised with parents who helped the kids make breakfast in bed, buy flowers, etc for their spouse rather than the expectation that we would be going over to grandparents’ houses.

Even as a mom of elementary kids, I give extra kudos to the moms in the baby/toddler years when it is most difficult to get time, peace, and rest.

If, in your DHs family, tradition was always to round up the family and visit grandparents and it’s not something he wants to shake up now, I’d have him take the kids as planned and do something nice for myself.

No.
Stop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m firmly of the belief that on Mothers and Father’s Day those actively parenting kids should be prioritized.

I give my parents a call and send flowers but I was raised with parents who helped the kids make breakfast in bed, buy flowers, etc for their spouse rather than the expectation that we would be going over to grandparents’ houses.

Even as a mom of elementary kids, I give extra kudos to the moms in the baby/toddler years when it is most difficult to get time, peace, and rest.

If, in your DHs family, tradition was always to round up the family and visit grandparents and it’s not something he wants to shake up now, I’d have him take the kids as planned and do something nice for myself.

That is your personal opinion. There are others who feel like motherhood isn’t ranked by the ages of your kids.

[Anonymous]

When posters have angst about Mother's Day and become competitive with their MIL, mom, SIL, sister, aunt, cousin, grandma... it only tells me that their marriage and family life is complete shitshow.

If they don't get angry about Mother's Day, then they will have to face the fact that their marriage and life is horrible. And they chose it.

It is easier to be disappointed on Mother's Day then to face that they are disappointed with their entire life and life choices. They can throw a fit for a disappointing MD and maybe get some sympathy here. If they fess up that their marriage and life is disappointing, we all will advise them to dump that loser husband/family. And they are not in a position to do so.

Can I laugh now? I have given the empathy and straight talk already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The senior mothers have rank. All come to them with gifts and flowers in hand.

The senior mothers are called grandmothers. They have Grandparents Day. Stop trying to get attention on the day the attention should go to young mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When posters have angst about Mother's Day and become competitive with their MIL, mom, SIL, sister, aunt, cousin, grandma... it only tells me that their marriage and family life is complete shitshow.

If they don't get angry about Mother's Day, then they will have to face the fact that their marriage and life is horrible. And they chose it.

It is easier to be disappointed on Mother's Day then to face that they are disappointed with their entire life and life choices. They can throw a fit for a disappointing MD and maybe get some sympathy here. If they fess up that their marriage and life is disappointing, we all will advise them to dump that loser husband/family. And they are not in a position to do so.

Can I laugh now? I have given the empathy and straight talk already.

Nonsense. The old women are shit-show with their demands and expectations. Nobody normal would want a young mom with little kids to travel to you to pay homage. It shows that those old women have literally nothing going on in their lives. Then if it's not done, they throw a fit that they should be paid respect to. Find something else to do in your old years than demand attention like a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The senior mothers have rank. All come to them with gifts and flowers in hand.

The senior mothers are called grandmothers. They have Grandparents Day. Stop trying to get attention on the day the attention should go to young mothers.

When and where did it become young Mother’s Day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m firmly of the belief that on Mothers and Father’s Day those actively parenting kids should be prioritized.

I give my parents a call and send flowers but I was raised with parents who helped the kids make breakfast in bed, buy flowers, etc for their spouse rather than the expectation that we would be going over to grandparents’ houses.

Even as a mom of elementary kids, I give extra kudos to the moms in the baby/toddler years when it is most difficult to get time, peace, and rest.

If, in your DHs family, tradition was always to round up the family and visit grandparents and it’s not something he wants to shake up now, I’d have him take the kids as planned and do something nice for myself.

That is your personal opinion. There are others who feel like motherhood isn’t ranked by the ages of your kids.

Of course it's ranked! Raising infants is different than raising toddlers, elementary schoolers or middle schoolers or high schoolers! To top it off, if your kids are already adults, they are not kids, they're ADULTS. Meaning, you're not mothering anyone! Maybe you have nothing else to get attention with. What else have you accomplished in your life except having kids decades ago?