asking for money for hosting teens tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were talking last night and I’d love a third-party perspective.

Our 17-year-old son is planning to have around 7 friends stay at our beach house for five nights this summer, and we’re more than happy to host. I’ll plan on having breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the boys (and probably ordering pizza one night), plus having snacks around etc… though I’m sure the boys will also grab food when they’re out.

My question is: would it be tacky to ask each parent to Venmo a small amount to help cover food for the week? If so, how much I am leaning towards yes. DH brought it up- I wouldn’t think twice about covering it if it were a one-time thing, but last summer we had kids in and out nearly every weekend. I love having the kids there and am always happy to have extra kids around so I don’t want this to imply any different.

As someone who owns a beach house, and HOSTS teen’s friends, yes you are tacky. Emphasis on hosting people, no matter how many. But this is probably a summer home somewhere tacky like Outer Banks or Rehoboth so go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not tacky. Cooking for 10 people, guests and your family, takes a lot of time and money. I’d expect everyone to help, with money and effort.

You can send an email to all the parents saying you’ll have eat at a restaurant once a day which they’ll need money for, what kind of entertaining budget is needed, and ask for a meals contribution, I’d think $250 is reasonable.

Just because you invited someone to your beach house is not an excuse for freeloading and an all expenses paid vacation, it only means you’ll provide rooms. If parents don’t have the decency to offer, it’s ok to remind them, and they are free to excuse their teen out of the whole trip.

I agree with this whole heartedly. We have a pool and host regular drop off pool parties for older ES kids. No parents ever contribute anything or even offer to unless I explicitly state that they need to. People in this area are so entitled. Like heating the pool and buying pizza and drinks for the kids adds up!!! Especially when we do it almost weekly. We love hosting AND expect people to contribute in some way. It's not a lot to ask!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our friends hosted my DD and 6 friends, and the host asked for Venmo for grocery money for everyone. I thought nothing of it and happily Venmoed her!

YES! I agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if this was a girls’ trip—a group of old college friends, say— and one of them happened to have a beach house that they offered up, you would assume that that friend was also covering all of your meals for the week?

Huh? How are you having trouble grasping the difference between adults with jobs and children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our friends hosted my DD and 6 friends, and the host asked for Venmo for grocery money for everyone. I thought nothing of it and happily Venmoed her!

I would also happily Venmo money under these circumstances. But I would never ask for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty tacky. On the other hand, if I were one of the teens' parents, I would have proactively asked for your Venmo and insisted on sending a contribution.

+1

But be ok with some people not paying. Which is crazy because teen boys eat like crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is thinking about this as asking the parents. The kid should be asking his friends to bring something. I host in the summers and I love it when my friend makes her delicious dinners, but I would never accept her money.

Teen boys are generally awful at logistics/coordinating. Even for simple things. This is a bad plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not tacky. Cooking for 10 people, guests and your family, takes a lot of time and money. I’d expect everyone to help, with money and effort.

You can send an email to all the parents saying you’ll have eat at a restaurant once a day which they’ll need money for, what kind of entertaining budget is needed, and ask for a meals contribution, I’d think $250 is reasonable.

Just because you invited someone to your beach house is not an excuse for freeloading and an all expenses paid vacation, it only means you’ll provide rooms. If parents don’t have the decency to offer, it’s ok to remind them, and they are free to excuse their teen out of the whole trip.

I agree with this whole heartedly. We have a pool and host regular drop off pool parties for older ES kids. No parents ever contribute anything or even offer to unless I explicitly state that they need to. People in this area are so entitled. Like heating the pool and buying pizza and drinks for the kids adds up!!! Especially when we do it almost weekly. We love hosting AND expect people to contribute in some way. It's not a lot to ask!!

Completely disagree. I host a lot and almost everyone asks what they can bring. I tell them just themselves but some inevitably bring a hostess gift or a bottle of wine. Always appreciated but never expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not tacky. Cooking for 10 people, guests and your family, takes a lot of time and money. I’d expect everyone to help, with money and effort.

You can send an email to all the parents saying you’ll have eat at a restaurant once a day which they’ll need money for, what kind of entertaining budget is needed, and ask for a meals contribution, I’d think $250 is reasonable.

Just because you invited someone to your beach house is not an excuse for freeloading and an all expenses paid vacation, it only means you’ll provide rooms. If parents don’t have the decency to offer, it’s ok to remind them, and they are free to excuse their teen out of the whole trip.

I agree with this whole heartedly. We have a pool and host regular drop off pool parties for older ES kids. No parents ever contribute anything or even offer to unless I explicitly state that they need to. People in this area are so entitled. Like heating the pool and buying pizza and drinks for the kids adds up!!! Especially when we do it almost weekly. We love hosting AND expect people to contribute in some way. It's not a lot to ask!!

Completely disagree. I host a lot and almost everyone asks what they can bring. I tell them just themselves but some inevitably bring a hostess gift or a bottle of wine. Always appreciated but never expected.

Sounds like your friends are classier than mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all the responses - I was torn and it was good to get a second opinion.

FWIW- it was my parents beach house and they passed so not “ultra wealthy” like some posters have said- but definitely lucky and thankful we can do this!

Yes, you are ultra wealthy.

+1

So OP didn’t even pay for the house. She got it for free via inheritance. Cool, cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if this was a girls’ trip—a group of old college friends, say— and one of them happened to have a beach house that they offered up, you would assume that that friend was also covering all of your meals for the week?

But these are children who are not self-supporting, rather than grown women.

These are 17 year olds. They can drive to the grocery store and do the shopping themselves.

[Anonymous]

We have a beach house and a constant parade of guests. We would never ask anyone to pay anything, DCs friends included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not tacky. Cooking for 10 people, guests and your family, takes a lot of time and money. I’d expect everyone to help, with money and effort.

You can send an email to all the parents saying you’ll have eat at a restaurant once a day which they’ll need money for, what kind of entertaining budget is needed, and ask for a meals contribution, I’d think $250 is reasonable.

Just because you invited someone to your beach house is not an excuse for freeloading and an all expenses paid vacation, it only means you’ll provide rooms. If parents don’t have the decency to offer, it’s ok to remind them, and they are free to excuse their teen out of the whole trip.

I agree with this whole heartedly. We have a pool and host regular drop off pool parties for older ES kids. No parents ever contribute anything or even offer to unless I explicitly state that they need to. People in this area are so entitled. Like heating the pool and buying pizza and drinks for the kids adds up!!! Especially when we do it almost weekly. We love hosting AND expect people to contribute in some way. It's not a lot to ask!!

Completely disagree. I host a lot and almost everyone asks what they can bring. I tell them just themselves but some inevitably bring a hostess gift or a bottle of wine. Always appreciated but never expected.

Ok so? That’s your prerogative to host however you like. Other people want to receive a contribution towards the food. Nobody cares what you think is tacky and don’t send your kids if you object to that.

You’re not better than the other person who can’t afford to cover the meals of 7 other kids, but nonetheless still offers her house to host them. The fact that you invited a kid over to a restaurant half a year ago has no bearing on anything.

[Anonymous]

It seems like this is more of a situation where the son invited these people and the parents agreed to be there to keep an eye on things. It should be on the boy to plan their meals and food which means everyone pays their own way. This is how adults travel and these boys are practically adults making their own plans.

[Anonymous]

It's super tacky.

Clearly you aren't happy to host since you want to hit them up for money.