asking for money for hosting teens tacky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone somewhere you are responsible for paying. Its tacky to do otherwise.

I would frame it as teaching responsibility. Send a group chat to the parents and say you want to relax this year and give the boys more responsibility. Say you have tasked your son with coming up with a grocery list with his friends and dividing the cost of food and cooking/cleaning responsibilities.

Ok choosy beggar. Have some self respect instead of fishing desperately for a handout.

Sorry but it’s not who invites pays. People invite coworkers to join for lunch, friends invite each other to drinks, movies, outings without the ridiculous expectation that whoever invites is responsible for paying for everything. Wondering what your social life looks like with this silly attitude. I bet you don’t get invited twice and people avoid you like plague, because your reputation as a choosy beggar is solidified.

It’s fine to be generous and pay for everything, it’s fine to tell your guests what the expectations are. It doesn’t mean it’s tacky.

Nobody needs to “frame” anything or present it in a more palatable way when OP is generously offering her house to the group. Geez, some people have no shame.

Going out to lunch is OUT and the consensus on this thread is that kids should have to pay for meals out. Would you have someone over at your house and ask them to pay you? I agree that you can set expectations about something being potluck or what people can contribute, but you do not ask them to pay when you have them over, even on vacation.

By your argument asking kids to bring money for eating out is ok. Asking them to bring food like for a potluck is also ok. Buying the groceries in the hometown and loading them in the car for the destination is also ok. But you draw a line at buying the groceries from the store nearby the beach house. You’re not making any sense.

Nobody is asking for money, OP is just saying they need to figure out food on their own which can be a combination eating out and cooking for themselves. Saying this is tacky is just part of silly cultural norms, mostly immigrant, that put an oversized emphasis on saving face and making “good impressions”. Frankly that’s quite insulting to the OP and show a lack of respect for her effort, which is very substantial.

Parents biatching about what others do, without lifting a finger is off putting. In OPs situation, just disinvite the disrespectful family and keep the people that appreciate her effort.

Curious how you define hosting? It’s not immigrant cultural norms—it’s pretty standard—not sure why you homed in on that??? Odd.

Because OP is a chaperone, not a host.

[Anonymous]

The takeaway from this thread is to avoid dealing with the parents since they range from reasonable and appreciative to bat shit crazy.

Instead your teen should tell the friends what they need to do. Problem solved with no headache for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone somewhere you are responsible for paying. Its tacky to do otherwise.

I would frame it as teaching responsibility. Send a group chat to the parents and say you want to relax this year and give the boys more responsibility. Say you have tasked your son with coming up with a grocery list with his friends and dividing the cost of food and cooking/cleaning responsibilities.

Ok choosy beggar. Have some self respect instead of fishing desperately for a handout.

Sorry but it’s not who invites pays. People invite coworkers to join for lunch, friends invite each other to drinks, movies, outings without the ridiculous expectation that whoever invites is responsible for paying for everything. Wondering what your social life looks like with this silly attitude. I bet you don’t get invited twice and people avoid you like plague, because your reputation as a choosy beggar is solidified.

It’s fine to be generous and pay for everything, it’s fine to tell your guests what the expectations are. It doesn’t mean it’s tacky.

Nobody needs to “frame” anything or present it in a more palatable way when OP is generously offering her house to the group. Geez, some people have no shame.

Going out to lunch is OUT and the consensus on this thread is that kids should have to pay for meals out. Would you have someone over at your house and ask them to pay you? I agree that you can set expectations about something being potluck or what people can contribute, but you do not ask them to pay when you have them over, even on vacation.

By your argument asking kids to bring money for eating out is ok. Asking them to bring food like for a potluck is also ok. Buying the groceries in the hometown and loading them in the car for the destination is also ok. But you draw a line at buying the groceries from the store nearby the beach house. You’re not making any sense.

Nobody is asking for money, OP is just saying they need to figure out food on their own which can be a combination eating out and cooking for themselves. Saying this is tacky is just part of silly cultural norms, mostly immigrant, that put an oversized emphasis on saving face and making “good impressions”. Frankly that’s quite insulting to the OP and show a lack of respect for her effort, which is very substantial.

Parents biatching about what others do, without lifting a finger is off putting. In OPs situation, just disinvite the disrespectful family and keep the people that appreciate her effort.

Curious how you define hosting? It’s not immigrant cultural norms—it’s pretty standard—not sure why you homed in on that??? Odd.

Because OP is a chaperone, not a host.

They are the host. They are inviting the kids to their home, having them stay at their home and organizing it all/supervising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always happy to contribute and I think most parents want to. Asking for money is tacky though. If you really want people to contribute, I’d do a grocery list in a Google sheet and ask people to sign up to bring things. It’s annoying to have to buy and pack groceries to send but as a parent, I’d still gladly do it knowing that my kid will be eating there all week.

It’s not about money, choosy beggar, it’s about sharing the effort as a group. I guess you’re the mom that makes Google spreadsheets. To be fair, that’s more embarrassing than asking teens to buy what they want to eat, but you do you. It’s dumb, but don’t let that stop you from doing it next time you’re hosting seven for a week, which will never happen anyways, because as we all know choosy beggar generosity is very limited.

The rest of us sane people will take the teens to the grocery store in the first day, everyone puts in the cart what they want to eat and in the end divide the bill fairly. No need to “gladly” bring groceries from home, no expectation for you to send scented candles and aromatic oils, or to have your kid treat everyone with frozen pizza one of the nights to show their appreciation, or to set up a Google spreadsheet trying to figure out who wants what cereal in the morning.

It’s obvious you’ve never done a hosting like this, so it’s funny how you have all these cumbersome ideas and suggestions on how the host should run her house on top of judging and badmouthing her as tacky. If you want to see low class, cheap, trashy and tacky, look in the mirror.

If kids are buying their own food, you don't split it evenly. If your kid is eating lobster and mine is eating a grilled cheese, why should my kid pay for your kids lobster. You pay for the food in the house.

You offer main simple meals with a basic sandwich as a back up for kids who don't like what is offered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy to contribute and I wouldn't bat an eye if I was asked to chip in so my kid could go to the beach with 7 of their friends!!!!

I think most of you are being performative in your manners.

+1

What teen wouldn’t be thrilled to spend a week at the beach with a large group of friends? It doesn’t matter if someone has a beach house or if the group rents. OPs providing room accommodations is worth thousands, yet some would still complain she doesn’t pay for all the food. Thats quite jarring.

Its not worth thousands. Its their home and free, just like if she had the kids over locally.

When I invite kids over/take them out and they are with us, we always pay. When my kids go out with friends parents, we offer, but they always pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone somewhere you are responsible for paying. Its tacky to do otherwise.

I would frame it as teaching responsibility. Send a group chat to the parents and say you want to relax this year and give the boys more responsibility. Say you have tasked your son with coming up with a grocery list with his friends and dividing the cost of food and cooking/cleaning responsibilities.

Ok choosy beggar. Have some self respect instead of fishing desperately for a handout.

Sorry but it’s not who invites pays. People invite coworkers to join for lunch, friends invite each other to drinks, movies, outings without the ridiculous expectation that whoever invites is responsible for paying for everything. Wondering what your social life looks like with this silly attitude. I bet you don’t get invited twice and people avoid you like plague, because your reputation as a choosy beggar is solidified.

It’s fine to be generous and pay for everything, it’s fine to tell your guests what the expectations are. It doesn’t mean it’s tacky.

Nobody needs to “frame” anything or present it in a more palatable way when OP is generously offering her house to the group. Geez, some people have no shame.

Going out to lunch is OUT and the consensus on this thread is that kids should have to pay for meals out. Would you have someone over at your house and ask them to pay you? I agree that you can set expectations about something being potluck or what people can contribute, but you do not ask them to pay when you have them over, even on vacation.

By your argument asking kids to bring money for eating out is ok. Asking them to bring food like for a potluck is also ok. Buying the groceries in the hometown and loading them in the car for the destination is also ok. But you draw a line at buying the groceries from the store nearby the beach house. You’re not making any sense.

Nobody is asking for money, OP is just saying they need to figure out food on their own which can be a combination eating out and cooking for themselves. Saying this is tacky is just part of silly cultural norms, mostly immigrant, that put an oversized emphasis on saving face and making “good impressions”. Frankly that’s quite insulting to the OP and show a lack of respect for her effort, which is very substantial.

Parents biatching about what others do, without lifting a finger is off putting. In OPs situation, just disinvite the disrespectful family and keep the people that appreciate her effort.

Curious how you define hosting? It’s not immigrant cultural norms—it’s pretty standard—not sure why you homed in on that??? Odd.

Because OP is a chaperone, not a host.

They are the host. They are inviting the kids to their home, having them stay at their home and organizing it all/supervising.

Feel free to voice your objection by not having your child attend such “tacky” beach trip. It’s better for everyone involved and you’ll get the much needed mental relief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always happy to contribute and I think most parents want to. Asking for money is tacky though. If you really want people to contribute, I’d do a grocery list in a Google sheet and ask people to sign up to bring things. It’s annoying to have to buy and pack groceries to send but as a parent, I’d still gladly do it knowing that my kid will be eating there all week.

It’s not about money, choosy beggar, it’s about sharing the effort as a group. I guess you’re the mom that makes Google spreadsheets. To be fair, that’s more embarrassing than asking teens to buy what they want to eat, but you do you. It’s dumb, but don’t let that stop you from doing it next time you’re hosting seven for a week, which will never happen anyways, because as we all know choosy beggar generosity is very limited.

The rest of us sane people will take the teens to the grocery store in the first day, everyone puts in the cart what they want to eat and in the end divide the bill fairly. No need to “gladly” bring groceries from home, no expectation for you to send scented candles and aromatic oils, or to have your kid treat everyone with frozen pizza one of the nights to show their appreciation, or to set up a Google spreadsheet trying to figure out who wants what cereal in the morning.

It’s obvious you’ve never done a hosting like this, so it’s funny how you have all these cumbersome ideas and suggestions on how the host should run her house on top of judging and badmouthing her as tacky. If you want to see low class, cheap, trashy and tacky, look in the mirror.

If kids are buying their own food, you don't split it evenly. If your kid is eating lobster and mine is eating a grilled cheese, why should my kid pay for your kids lobster. You pay for the food in the house.

You offer main simple meals with a basic sandwich as a back up for kids who don't like what is offered.

Honey, are you ok? You don’t seem well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone somewhere you are responsible for paying. Its tacky to do otherwise.

I would frame it as teaching responsibility. Send a group chat to the parents and say you want to relax this year and give the boys more responsibility. Say you have tasked your son with coming up with a grocery list with his friends and dividing the cost of food and cooking/cleaning responsibilities.

Ok choosy beggar. Have some self respect instead of fishing desperately for a handout.

Sorry but it’s not who invites pays. People invite coworkers to join for lunch, friends invite each other to drinks, movies, outings without the ridiculous expectation that whoever invites is responsible for paying for everything. Wondering what your social life looks like with this silly attitude. I bet you don’t get invited twice and people avoid you like plague, because your reputation as a choosy beggar is solidified.

It’s fine to be generous and pay for everything, it’s fine to tell your guests what the expectations are. It doesn’t mean it’s tacky.

Nobody needs to “frame” anything or present it in a more palatable way when OP is generously offering her house to the group. Geez, some people have no shame.

Going out to lunch is OUT and the consensus on this thread is that kids should have to pay for meals out. Would you have someone over at your house and ask them to pay you? I agree that you can set expectations about something being potluck or what people can contribute, but you do not ask them to pay when you have them over, even on vacation.

By your argument asking kids to bring money for eating out is ok. Asking them to bring food like for a potluck is also ok. Buying the groceries in the hometown and loading them in the car for the destination is also ok. But you draw a line at buying the groceries from the store nearby the beach house. You’re not making any sense.

Nobody is asking for money, OP is just saying they need to figure out food on their own which can be a combination eating out and cooking for themselves. Saying this is tacky is just part of silly cultural norms, mostly immigrant, that put an oversized emphasis on saving face and making “good impressions”. Frankly that’s quite insulting to the OP and show a lack of respect for her effort, which is very substantial.

Parents biatching about what others do, without lifting a finger is off putting. In OPs situation, just disinvite the disrespectful family and keep the people that appreciate her effort.

Curious how you define hosting? It’s not immigrant cultural norms—it’s pretty standard—not sure why you homed in on that??? Odd.

Because OP is a chaperone, not a host.

They are the host. They are inviting the kids to their home, having them stay at their home and organizing it all/supervising.

No that’s not the case. Son did all the inviting and i an sure teens will be organizing themselves. Op will just oversee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m always happy to contribute and I think most parents want to. Asking for money is tacky though. If you really want people to contribute, I’d do a grocery list in a Google sheet and ask people to sign up to bring things. It’s annoying to have to buy and pack groceries to send but as a parent, I’d still gladly do it knowing that my kid will be eating there all week.

It’s not about money, choosy beggar, it’s about sharing the effort as a group. I guess you’re the mom that makes Google spreadsheets. To be fair, that’s more embarrassing than asking teens to buy what they want to eat, but you do you. It’s dumb, but don’t let that stop you from doing it next time you’re hosting seven for a week, which will never happen anyways, because as we all know choosy beggar generosity is very limited.

The rest of us sane people will take the teens to the grocery store in the first day, everyone puts in the cart what they want to eat and in the end divide the bill fairly. No need to “gladly” bring groceries from home, no expectation for you to send scented candles and aromatic oils, or to have your kid treat everyone with frozen pizza one of the nights to show their appreciation, or to set up a Google spreadsheet trying to figure out who wants what cereal in the morning.

It’s obvious you’ve never done a hosting like this, so it’s funny how you have all these cumbersome ideas and suggestions on how the host should run her house on top of judging and badmouthing her as tacky. If you want to see low class, cheap, trashy and tacky, look in the mirror.

If kids are buying their own food, you don't split it evenly. If your kid is eating lobster and mine is eating a grilled cheese, why should my kid pay for your kids lobster. You pay for the food in the house.

You offer main simple meals with a basic sandwich as a back up for kids who don't like what is offered.

Honey, are you ok? You don’t seem well.

I’m tired of people like you not teaching your kids values and manners. Op can feed the kids cheaply. Asking for money is tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone somewhere you are responsible for paying. Its tacky to do otherwise.

I would frame it as teaching responsibility. Send a group chat to the parents and say you want to relax this year and give the boys more responsibility. Say you have tasked your son with coming up with a grocery list with his friends and dividing the cost of food and cooking/cleaning responsibilities.

Ok choosy beggar. Have some self respect instead of fishing desperately for a handout.

Sorry but it’s not who invites pays. People invite coworkers to join for lunch, friends invite each other to drinks, movies, outings without the ridiculous expectation that whoever invites is responsible for paying for everything. Wondering what your social life looks like with this silly attitude. I bet you don’t get invited twice and people avoid you like plague, because your reputation as a choosy beggar is solidified.

It’s fine to be generous and pay for everything, it’s fine to tell your guests what the expectations are. It doesn’t mean it’s tacky.

Nobody needs to “frame” anything or present it in a more palatable way when OP is generously offering her house to the group. Geez, some people have no shame.

Going out to lunch is OUT and the consensus on this thread is that kids should have to pay for meals out. Would you have someone over at your house and ask them to pay you? I agree that you can set expectations about something being potluck or what people can contribute, but you do not ask them to pay when you have them over, even on vacation.

By your argument asking kids to bring money for eating out is ok. Asking them to bring food like for a potluck is also ok. Buying the groceries in the hometown and loading them in the car for the destination is also ok. But you draw a line at buying the groceries from the store nearby the beach house. You’re not making any sense.

Nobody is asking for money, OP is just saying they need to figure out food on their own which can be a combination eating out and cooking for themselves. Saying this is tacky is just part of silly cultural norms, mostly immigrant, that put an oversized emphasis on saving face and making “good impressions”. Frankly that’s quite insulting to the OP and show a lack of respect for her effort, which is very substantial.

Parents biatching about what others do, without lifting a finger is off putting. In OPs situation, just disinvite the disrespectful family and keep the people that appreciate her effort.

Curious how you define hosting? It’s not immigrant cultural norms—it’s pretty standard—not sure why you homed in on that??? Odd.

Because OP is a chaperone, not a host.

They are the host. They are inviting the kids to their home, having them stay at their home and organizing it all/supervising.

No that’s not the case. Son did all the inviting and i a sure teens will be organizing themselves. Op will just oversee.

Son has to have had permission from mom. If they are not supervising the kids they need to let the parents know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone somewhere you are responsible for paying. Its tacky to do otherwise.

I would frame it as teaching responsibility. Send a group chat to the parents and say you want to relax this year and give the boys more responsibility. Say you have tasked your son with coming up with a grocery list with his friends and dividing the cost of food and cooking/cleaning responsibilities.

Ok choosy beggar. Have some self respect instead of fishing desperately for a handout.

Sorry but it’s not who invites pays. People invite coworkers to join for lunch, friends invite each other to drinks, movies, outings without the ridiculous expectation that whoever invites is responsible for paying for everything. Wondering what your social life looks like with this silly attitude. I bet you don’t get invited twice and people avoid you like plague, because your reputation as a choosy beggar is solidified.

It’s fine to be generous and pay for everything, it’s fine to tell your guests what the expectations are. It doesn’t mean it’s tacky.

Nobody needs to “frame” anything or present it in a more palatable way when OP is generously offering her house to the group. Geez, some people have no shame.

Going out to lunch is OUT and the consensus on this thread is that kids should have to pay for meals out. Would you have someone over at your house and ask them to pay you? I agree that you can set expectations about something being potluck or what people can contribute, but you do not ask them to pay when you have them over, even on vacation.

By your argument asking kids to bring money for eating out is ok. Asking them to bring food like for a potluck is also ok. Buying the groceries in the hometown and loading them in the car for the destination is also ok. But you draw a line at buying the groceries from the store nearby the beach house. You’re not making any sense.

Nobody is asking for money, OP is just saying they need to figure out food on their own which can be a combination eating out and cooking for themselves. Saying this is tacky is just part of silly cultural norms, mostly immigrant, that put an oversized emphasis on saving face and making “good impressions”. Frankly that’s quite insulting to the OP and show a lack of respect for her effort, which is very substantial.

Parents biatching about what others do, without lifting a finger is off putting. In OPs situation, just disinvite the disrespectful family and keep the people that appreciate her effort.

Curious how you define hosting? It’s not immigrant cultural norms—it’s pretty standard—not sure why you homed in on that??? Odd.

Because OP is a chaperone, not a host.

They are the host. They are inviting the kids to their home, having them stay at their home and organizing it all/supervising.

Feel free to voice your objection by not having your child attend such “tacky” beach trip. It’s better for everyone involved and you’ll get the much needed mental relief.

My kids would not be going due to the lack of supervision. They are strong pool swimmers but not strong ocean swimmers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone somewhere you are responsible for paying. Its tacky to do otherwise.

I would frame it as teaching responsibility. Send a group chat to the parents and say you want to relax this year and give the boys more responsibility. Say you have tasked your son with coming up with a grocery list with his friends and dividing the cost of food and cooking/cleaning responsibilities.

Ok choosy beggar. Have some self respect instead of fishing desperately for a handout.

Sorry but it’s not who invites pays. People invite coworkers to join for lunch, friends invite each other to drinks, movies, outings without the ridiculous expectation that whoever invites is responsible for paying for everything. Wondering what your social life looks like with this silly attitude. I bet you don’t get invited twice and people avoid you like plague, because your reputation as a choosy beggar is solidified.

It’s fine to be generous and pay for everything, it’s fine to tell your guests what the expectations are. It doesn’t mean it’s tacky.

Nobody needs to “frame” anything or present it in a more palatable way when OP is generously offering her house to the group. Geez, some people have no shame.

Going out to lunch is OUT and the consensus on this thread is that kids should have to pay for meals out. Would you have someone over at your house and ask them to pay you? I agree that you can set expectations about something being potluck or what people can contribute, but you do not ask them to pay when you have them over, even on vacation.

By your argument asking kids to bring money for eating out is ok. Asking them to bring food like for a potluck is also ok. Buying the groceries in the hometown and loading them in the car for the destination is also ok. But you draw a line at buying the groceries from the store nearby the beach house. You’re not making any sense.

Nobody is asking for money, OP is just saying they need to figure out food on their own which can be a combination eating out and cooking for themselves. Saying this is tacky is just part of silly cultural norms, mostly immigrant, that put an oversized emphasis on saving face and making “good impressions”. Frankly that’s quite insulting to the OP and show a lack of respect for her effort, which is very substantial.

Parents biatching about what others do, without lifting a finger is off putting. In OPs situation, just disinvite the disrespectful family and keep the people that appreciate her effort.

Curious how you define hosting? It’s not immigrant cultural norms—it’s pretty standard—not sure why you homed in on that??? Odd.

Because OP is a chaperone, not a host.

They are the host. They are inviting the kids to their home, having them stay at their home and organizing it all/supervising.

Feel free to voice your objection by not having your child attend such “tacky” beach trip. It’s better for everyone involved and you’ll get the much needed mental relief.

My kids would not be going due to the lack of supervision. They are strong pool swimmers but not strong ocean swimmers.

Are your kids 17?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone somewhere you are responsible for paying. Its tacky to do otherwise.

I would frame it as teaching responsibility. Send a group chat to the parents and say you want to relax this year and give the boys more responsibility. Say you have tasked your son with coming up with a grocery list with his friends and dividing the cost of food and cooking/cleaning responsibilities.

Ok choosy beggar. Have some self respect instead of fishing desperately for a handout.

Sorry but it’s not who invites pays. People invite coworkers to join for lunch, friends invite each other to drinks, movies, outings without the ridiculous expectation that whoever invites is responsible for paying for everything. Wondering what your social life looks like with this silly attitude. I bet you don’t get invited twice and people avoid you like plague, because your reputation as a choosy beggar is solidified.

It’s fine to be generous and pay for everything, it’s fine to tell your guests what the expectations are. It doesn’t mean it’s tacky.

Nobody needs to “frame” anything or present it in a more palatable way when OP is generously offering her house to the group. Geez, some people have no shame.

Going out to lunch is OUT and the consensus on this thread is that kids should have to pay for meals out. Would you have someone over at your house and ask them to pay you? I agree that you can set expectations about something being potluck or what people can contribute, but you do not ask them to pay when you have them over, even on vacation.

By your argument asking kids to bring money for eating out is ok. Asking them to bring food like for a potluck is also ok. Buying the groceries in the hometown and loading them in the car for the destination is also ok. But you draw a line at buying the groceries from the store nearby the beach house. You’re not making any sense.

Nobody is asking for money, OP is just saying they need to figure out food on their own which can be a combination eating out and cooking for themselves. Saying this is tacky is just part of silly cultural norms, mostly immigrant, that put an oversized emphasis on saving face and making “good impressions”. Frankly that’s quite insulting to the OP and show a lack of respect for her effort, which is very substantial.

Parents biatching about what others do, without lifting a finger is off putting. In OPs situation, just disinvite the disrespectful family and keep the people that appreciate her effort.

Curious how you define hosting? It’s not immigrant cultural norms—it’s pretty standard—not sure why you homed in on that??? Odd.

Because OP is a chaperone, not a host.

They are the host. They are inviting the kids to their home, having them stay at their home and organizing it all/supervising.

No that’s not the case. Son did all the inviting and i a sure teens will be organizing themselves. Op will just oversee.

Son has to have had permission from mom. If they are not supervising the kids they need to let the parents know.

OP said she would be there. If you think the "host" in a trip like this is some kind of cruise ship fun creator and personal chef and maid, you'd be mistaken. Just have your kids sit these things out in about 10 years when they are even old enough. You just don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you invite someone somewhere you are responsible for paying. Its tacky to do otherwise.

I would frame it as teaching responsibility. Send a group chat to the parents and say you want to relax this year and give the boys more responsibility. Say you have tasked your son with coming up with a grocery list with his friends and dividing the cost of food and cooking/cleaning responsibilities.

Ok choosy beggar. Have some self respect instead of fishing desperately for a handout.

Sorry but it’s not who invites pays. People invite coworkers to join for lunch, friends invite each other to drinks, movies, outings without the ridiculous expectation that whoever invites is responsible for paying for everything. Wondering what your social life looks like with this silly attitude. I bet you don’t get invited twice and people avoid you like plague, because your reputation as a choosy beggar is solidified.

It’s fine to be generous and pay for everything, it’s fine to tell your guests what the expectations are. It doesn’t mean it’s tacky.

Nobody needs to “frame” anything or present it in a more palatable way when OP is generously offering her house to the group. Geez, some people have no shame.

Going out to lunch is OUT and the consensus on this thread is that kids should have to pay for meals out. Would you have someone over at your house and ask them to pay you? I agree that you can set expectations about something being potluck or what people can contribute, but you do not ask them to pay when you have them over, even on vacation.

By your argument asking kids to bring money for eating out is ok. Asking them to bring food like for a potluck is also ok. Buying the groceries in the hometown and loading them in the car for the destination is also ok. But you draw a line at buying the groceries from the store nearby the beach house. You’re not making any sense.

Nobody is asking for money, OP is just saying they need to figure out food on their own which can be a combination eating out and cooking for themselves. Saying this is tacky is just part of silly cultural norms, mostly immigrant, that put an oversized emphasis on saving face and making “good impressions”. Frankly that’s quite insulting to the OP and show a lack of respect for her effort, which is very substantial.

Parents biatching about what others do, without lifting a finger is off putting. In OPs situation, just disinvite the disrespectful family and keep the people that appreciate her effort.

Curious how you define hosting? It’s not immigrant cultural norms—it’s pretty standard—not sure why you homed in on that??? Odd.

Because OP is a chaperone, not a host.

They are the host. They are inviting the kids to their home, having them stay at their home and organizing it all/supervising.

Feel free to voice your objection by not having your child attend such “tacky” beach trip. It’s better for everyone involved and you’ll get the much needed mental relief.

My kids would not be going due to the lack of supervision. They are strong pool swimmers but not strong ocean swimmers.

Well, I guess that would be too bad. But your current 4 yr old is going to change a lot in the next 13 years.

[Anonymous]

Goes to way beyond tacky.