In laws wanting to use new vacation home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

These are not real people. They are play acting how they would act in real life if they had a 2nd home while in reality they don't even own a single home.

You know what? You're probably right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

These are not real people. They are play acting how they would act in real life if they had a 2nd home while in reality they don't even own a single home.

Not bothering to read the rest of the thread, but this is it exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

These are not real people. They are play acting how they would act in real life if they had a 2nd home while in reality they don't even own a single home.

Not bothering to read the rest of the thread, but this is it exactly.

They are the same people who don't have enough money to stay at a hotel for holidays and have to sleep in childhood bedrooms or on the floor, if they even talk to any family they haven't cut off, but now they all have 2nd and 3rd homes? Sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

Depends. How clean is their house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are on a slippery slope. Now is the time to establish rules with extended family. We don't allow anybody there if we're not there.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

These are not real people. They are play acting how they would act in real life if they had a 2nd home while in reality they don't even own a single home.

Not bothering to read the rest of the thread, but this is it exactly.

They are the same people who don't have enough money to stay at a hotel for holidays and have to sleep in childhood bedrooms or on the floor, if they even talk to any family they haven't cut off, but now they all have 2nd and 3rd homes? Sure.

Or they are real people, but your life is so small and average that you can't imagine owning a second home. I don't question posters because my own family, plus about half of my friends and colleagues, own a second home, so why wouldn't I believe someone when they talk about theirs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

These are not real people. They are play acting how they would act in real life if they had a 2nd home while in reality they don't even own a single home.

Not bothering to read the rest of the thread, but this is it exactly.

They are the same people who don't have enough money to stay at a hotel for holidays and have to sleep in childhood bedrooms or on the floor, if they even talk to any family they haven't cut off, but now they all have 2nd and 3rd homes? Sure.

Or they are real people, but your life is so small and average that you can't imagine owning a second home. I don't question posters because my own family, plus about half of my friends and colleagues, own a second home, so why wouldn't I believe someone when they talk about theirs?

I have a second home, and I'll tell you why I'm skeptical -- because I don't know anyone with a second home who acts like you people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was letting him use it once when you weren’t there.

No, is an answer and you are not obligated to follow up with why.

Yet another DCUM key board warrior.

I love this phrasing (it’s so true - you know most of the posters who profess to be strict boundary enforcers do not act this way in real life - or else they have very strained relationships).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

These are not real people. They are play acting how they would act in real life if they had a 2nd home while in reality they don't even own a single home.

Not bothering to read the rest of the thread, but this is it exactly.

They are the same people who don't have enough money to stay at a hotel for holidays and have to sleep in childhood bedrooms or on the floor, if they even talk to any family they haven't cut off, but now they all have 2nd and 3rd homes? Sure.

Or they are real people, but your life is so small and average that you can't imagine owning a second home. I don't question posters because my own family, plus about half of my friends and colleagues, own a second home, so why wouldn't I believe someone when they talk about theirs?

You're the type of person easily scammed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Utilities bills can triple for the time that someone is using your second home. I am not subsidizing their vacations. If they wanna go that bad, they would get a hotel or rent a home. And I bet they don’t.

"You are welcome to stay at the house but you will be responsible for the cleaning fee and utilities for the week." I'm not sure why this would be a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

These are not real people. They are play acting how they would act in real life if they had a 2nd home while in reality they don't even own a single home.

Not bothering to read the rest of the thread, but this is it exactly.

They are the same people who don't have enough money to stay at a hotel for holidays and have to sleep in childhood bedrooms or on the floor, if they even talk to any family they haven't cut off, but now they all have 2nd and 3rd homes? Sure.

Or they are real people, but your life is so small and average that you can't imagine owning a second home. I don't question posters because my own family, plus about half of my friends and colleagues, own a second home, so why wouldn't I believe someone when they talk about theirs?

I have a second home, and I'll tell you why I'm skeptical -- because I don't know anyone with a second home who acts like you people.

How do I act? Sounds like you have posters confused. I just don't lend out our second home, period. If you don’t rent out your second home, you’ve probably concluded that you don’t need the extra money and you don’t want your home damaged or disorganized. You just say no. We’ve tried out letting people use it and it didn't go well so we realized the answer has to be no.

[Anonymous]

No, but my in-laws are rude and disrespectful and, having shared a beach house with them for many years, I would never let them use ours. But YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

These are not real people. They are play acting how they would act in real life if they had a 2nd home while in reality they don't even own a single home.

Really? It seems like most of our neighbors own two or three homes as do we. It is pretty common to own a second or third home for people living in more exclusive areas in northern Virginia. It just is.

Your mistake is assuming the posters here are your friends and neighbors.

Well, if they own second and third home they might be. Lol.😁

Then I guess your friends and neighbors are particularly miserable and would never let their in-laws cross their threshold because they aren't family.

Actually my friend and neighbors seem really happy. As what they let their in-laws do is none of my business.😁

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Utilities bills can triple for the time that someone is using your second home. I am not subsidizing their vacations. If they wanna go that bad, they would get a hotel or rent a home. And I bet they don’t.

"You are welcome to stay at the house but you will be responsible for the cleaning fee and utilities for the week." I'm not sure why this would be a problem.

If they know they have to pay utilities and cleaning then they will probably decline as they are easily offended and wanted a freebie. It will not be worth it to them. Problem solved. But would be best to just say no in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If family or close friends are responsible and you have a good relationship including good communication, I say yes.

Our cabin in the mountains is very old and it has a fairly long list of things that need to be done at arrival, during, and on departure. Anyone who asks to stay there has to go over the list with DH before finalizing, and a few people have decided it’s not worth it. We do have a caretaker that comes by to check but he doesn’t charge much. When he retires or dies that cost will probably increase significantly. I think if we had someone frequently asking to use it we might ask them to chip in then.

We haven’t had any major issues. People have forgotten to do things or broken something a few times but have always communicated if they realized and been very apologetic. Overall I’d just say it’s a blessing to be able to share and it’s ok to have some boundaries. If you know someone will be destructive it’s ok if it’s always unavailable when they ask.

My brother's wife uses this tactic. I think it is pretty ingenious. The list is intimidating.

😂
I promise it’s not an intentional tactic, but I think it does end up being a bit of a filter! In our case it’s much more about behavior than cost, but I think anyone could have a list.