In laws wanting to use new vacation home

[Anonymous]

We recently acquired a vacation home. We are not renting it out. We let BIL use it once. Now he wants to go again.

Do you let your family use your home whenever they want?

We won’t be there and not use it for at least another month.

[Anonymous]

That’s your husband’s brother. I would let my brother or sister or mother use my vacation home. I would do the same for my husband‘s family, which is also my family.

[Anonymous]

You are on a slippery slope. Now is the time to establish rules with extended family. We don't allow anybody there if we're not there.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, I'd let my brother use my vacation home if I wasn't there. And yes, it's the brother, not the "in laws" because he's the brother of the owner of the house. Or did you buy it yourself?

It's also beneficial to you. It's not good to leave a home empty for months on end. It's better for them to be lived in. We actively encourage relatives and friends to use our second home when we're not there.

You sound kind of awful, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are on a slippery slope. Now is the time to establish rules with extended family. We don't allow anybody there if we're not there.

Aren't you nice.

[Anonymous]

Your mistake was letting him use it once when you weren’t there.

No, is an answer and you are not obligated to follow up with why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was letting him use it once when you weren’t there.

No, is an answer and you are not obligated to follow up with why.

Yet another DCUM key board warrior.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'd let them use it. Ask them to pay the cleaning fee and a small fee for utilities.

[Anonymous]

This is going to be such an individual decision.
If I had the finances to buy a second home without renting it out, yes I would let family borrow it. I would let them know thecleaning fee ahead of time and expect them to pay it though.
If it’s vacant why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'd let them use it. Ask them to pay the cleaning fee and a small fee for utilities.

Yea, send them a bill, cheapo

[Anonymous]

What is your concern? (I wouldnt want to do this but I am easily annoyed/want my house left a certain way.)

At a minimum, relatives need to pay for a cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Is he responsible? Did he leave it in good condition the last time? Do you trust him to handle problems that arise? Is he financially solvent to cover any damage he may cause, and would he be willing to? My BILs are great guys. I’d have no problem with lending them my vacation home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are on a slippery slope. Now is the time to establish rules with extended family. We don't allow anybody there if we're not there.

Aren't you nice.

NP. Maybe this isn’t the nicest, but it’s correct. My parents had a beach house and allowed friends and family to use it. People are shockingly entitled - after the first visit almost all would ask to come again the next year. Family also crawled out of the woodwork, and people started asking to use it for a girl’s get together, bachelorette parties and even a honeymoon. My mom had trouble saying no after she had said yes to some people, and it got to the point that her own children couldn’t visit there in the summer bc it was booked up with friends and family. And even though we loved these people, they would break things, stain things, use up supplies and not replace them, etc. It eventually became such a headache that my parents sold the house.

[Anonymous]

Man, you people are really something else. Not only do you allow your family to use your empty vacation home -- you should actively offer it, and without expecting or demanding cleaning fees, paying for utilities etc. They're family. Presumably they return the favor in other ways. No need to keep score.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is going to be such an individual decision.
If I had the finances to buy a second home without renting it out, yes I would let family borrow it. I would let them know thecleaning fee ahead of time and expect them to pay it though.
If it’s vacant why not?

My husband and I both come from large families. We have long-time beach house owners. The biggest problem with an open-door policy is that frequently you will have one or two relatives that take advantage. Also, as the family gets older you are juggling not just sibling and cousin requests, but nieces, nephews, and eventually grandchildren.