MIL parking across the street daily — tell DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

+1 She is sad and in her own way, misses him. Imagine you, in her place OP, with your estranged adult kid and their spouse you out. I'm sure it could never happen, you say. But it might.

What is with this thread? This is not behavior to normalize. Lots of people feel sad without stalking their loved ones.

She’s not stalking though. She just sits in her car for a few minutes at a time when people aren’t expected to be home. That’s not stalking. It’s sad and odd, but it’s not illegal. OP says she’s not dangerous. There’s a lot of hysteria in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

+1 She is sad and in her own way, misses him. Imagine you, in her place OP, with your estranged adult kid and their spouse you out. I'm sure it could never happen, you say. But it might.

What is with this thread? This is not behavior to normalize. Lots of people feel sad without stalking their loved ones.

She’s not stalking though. She just sits in her car for a few minutes at a time when people aren’t expected to be home. That’s not stalking. It’s sad and odd, but it’s not illegal. OP says she’s not dangerous. There’s a lot of hysteria in this thread.

This absolutely is stalking. It’s the very definition of stalking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she financially stable? Is she stealing wifi?

This was the only plausibly innocent explanation I could think of.

Public libraries and fast food places and malls and lots of similar places have free Wi-Fi.

But everyone has access to that and it’s not safe for online banking. Presumably she has her son’s password and his is safe to use because random hackers won’t be on his WiFi to steal her banking info

Do your parents/ILs have your WiFi password? Mine sure don't. I don't even know ours, it's written down on a piece of paper. She's certainly not there to bank. But yes, the strange part is to come when nobody is supposedly at home. It means she doesn't want to be found out. But what is she doing there is a mystery. If I'd wanted to say, get a glimpse of my adult child to make sure they're alive and we're estranged, I'd park near their office on the street.

Yes. My folks have my wifi guest password. Some of my friends have it on their phones/devices so that they can automatically connect to wifi when they are here. Some of my neighbors have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

What does this have to do with you? Are you emotionally mature? Do you treat your sons with respect? Do you plan to continue respecting them and their families into adulthood? Do you plan to be manipulative to get your way?

No? Then why are you sad for yourself?

I am and I do. Even if this MIL is emotionally immature and manipulative she still likely loves them. I am not saying this is normal or ok. Just sad. Makes me feel sad to think of not being in touch with my kids and their families (even though they are only in hs and college now.)

You should feel SAD for the son who has, for his entire life, had to deal with a mother like this. People don’t just abandon their parents, it takes a lifetime of HELL to get to this place, and you don’t get there lightly. You and your kids will be fine, because you ARE fine.

That just isn’t true. There are situations where the parents were just fine and the kids have been brainwashed into this “no contact” way of handling everything. Talk about being manipulative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

What does this have to do with you? Are you emotionally mature? Do you treat your sons with respect? Do you plan to continue respecting them and their families into adulthood? Do you plan to be manipulative to get your way?

No? Then why are you sad for yourself?

I am and I do. Even if this MIL is emotionally immature and manipulative she still likely loves them. I am not saying this is normal or ok. Just sad. Makes me feel sad to think of not being in touch with my kids and their families (even though they are only in hs and college now.)

You should feel SAD for the son who has, for his entire life, had to deal with a mother like this. People don’t just abandon their parents, it takes a lifetime of HELL to get to this place, and you don’t get there lightly. You and your kids will be fine, because you ARE fine.

That just isn’t true. There are situations where the parents were just fine and the kids have been brainwashed into this “no contact” way of handling everything. Talk about being manipulative.

Oh, well. Still not a defense for stalking your adult child and his family (as if that behavior doesn’t already indicate why he keeps his distance).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

What does this have to do with you? Are you emotionally mature? Do you treat your sons with respect? Do you plan to continue respecting them and their families into adulthood? Do you plan to be manipulative to get your way?

No? Then why are you sad for yourself?

I am and I do. Even if this MIL is emotionally immature and manipulative she still likely loves them. I am not saying this is normal or ok. Just sad. Makes me feel sad to think of not being in touch with my kids and their families (even though they are only in hs and college now.)

You should feel SAD for the son who has, for his entire life, had to deal with a mother like this. People don’t just abandon their parents, it takes a lifetime of HELL to get to this place, and you don’t get there lightly. You and your kids will be fine, because you ARE fine.

That just isn’t true. There are situations where the parents were just fine and the kids have been brainwashed into this “no contact” way of handling everything. Talk about being manipulative.

Oh, well. Still not a defense for stalking your adult child and his family (as if that behavior doesn’t already indicate why he keeps his distance).

It isn't stalking.

[Anonymous]

I’m not reading the thread, but what if she’s just sad? If she’s doing it when you’re at work, I fail to see how it is stalking or manipulation?

But maybe if you just checking in her…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

What does this have to do with you? Are you emotionally mature? Do you treat your sons with respect? Do you plan to continue respecting them and their families into adulthood? Do you plan to be manipulative to get your way?

No? Then why are you sad for yourself?

I am and I do. Even if this MIL is emotionally immature and manipulative she still likely loves them. I am not saying this is normal or ok. Just sad. Makes me feel sad to think of not being in touch with my kids and their families (even though they are only in hs and college now.)

You should feel SAD for the son who has, for his entire life, had to deal with a mother like this. People don’t just abandon their parents, it takes a lifetime of HELL to get to this place, and you don’t get there lightly. You and your kids will be fine, because you ARE fine.

That just isn’t true. There are situations where the parents were just fine and the kids have been brainwashed into this “no contact” way of handling everything. Talk about being manipulative.

Oh, well. Still not a defense for stalking your adult child and his family (as if that behavior doesn’t already indicate why he keeps his distance).

It isn't stalking.

It’s creepy and manipulative. No father would get away with this without the police being called.

A lot of psychopaths feel sorry for themselves, too. In fact, it’s one of their primary traits.

Being a sad, estranged parent does not make this behavior okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

+1 She is sad and in her own way, misses him. Imagine you, in her place OP, with your estranged adult kid and their spouse you out. I'm sure it could never happen, you say. But it might.

What is with this thread? This is not behavior to normalize. Lots of people feel sad without stalking their loved ones.

She’s not stalking though. She just sits in her car for a few minutes at a time when people aren’t expected to be home. That’s not stalking. It’s sad and odd, but it’s not illegal. OP says she’s not dangerous. There’s a lot of hysteria in this thread.

This absolutely is stalking. It’s the very definition of stalking.

Stalking…an empty house? A trash can? A mailbox?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

What does this have to do with you? Are you emotionally mature? Do you treat your sons with respect? Do you plan to continue respecting them and their families into adulthood? Do you plan to be manipulative to get your way?

No? Then why are you sad for yourself?

I am and I do. Even if this MIL is emotionally immature and manipulative she still likely loves them. I am not saying this is normal or ok. Just sad. Makes me feel sad to think of not being in touch with my kids and their families (even though they are only in hs and college now.)

You should feel SAD for the son who has, for his entire life, had to deal with a mother like this. People don’t just abandon their parents, it takes a lifetime of HELL to get to this place, and you don’t get there lightly. You and your kids will be fine, because you ARE fine.

That just isn’t true. There are situations where the parents were just fine and the kids have been brainwashed into this “no contact” way of handling everything. Talk about being manipulative.

Oh, well. Still not a defense for stalking your adult child and his family (as if that behavior doesn’t already indicate why he keeps his distance).

It isn't stalking.

It’s creepy and manipulative. No father would get away with this without the police being called.

A lot of psychopaths feel sorry for themselves, too. In fact, it’s one of their primary traits.

Being a sad, estranged parent does not make this behavior okay.

How is it manipulative? Explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

What does this have to do with you? Are you emotionally mature? Do you treat your sons with respect? Do you plan to continue respecting them and their families into adulthood? Do you plan to be manipulative to get your way?

No? Then why are you sad for yourself?

I am and I do. Even if this MIL is emotionally immature and manipulative she still likely loves them. I am not saying this is normal or ok. Just sad. Makes me feel sad to think of not being in touch with my kids and their families (even though they are only in hs and college now.)

You should feel SAD for the son who has, for his entire life, had to deal with a mother like this. People don’t just abandon their parents, it takes a lifetime of HELL to get to this place, and you don’t get there lightly. You and your kids will be fine, because you ARE fine.

That just isn’t true. There are situations where the parents were just fine and the kids have been brainwashed into this “no contact” way of handling everything. Talk about being manipulative.

Oh, well. Still not a defense for stalking your adult child and his family (as if that behavior doesn’t already indicate why he keeps his distance).

It isn't stalking.

It’s creepy and manipulative. No father would get away with this without the police being called.

A lot of psychopaths feel sorry for themselves, too. In fact, it’s one of their primary traits.

Being a sad, estranged parent does not make this behavior okay.

That's not true. He would need a restraining order against her for the police to be involved. We had this same situation in our extended family, except with a hostile STBX, and the police said it was a public street and anyone can park there as long as they are not doing anything illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

+1 She is sad and in her own way, misses him. Imagine you, in her place OP, with your estranged adult kid and their spouse you out. I'm sure it could never happen, you say. But it might.

What is with this thread? This is not behavior to normalize. Lots of people feel sad without stalking their loved ones.

She’s not stalking though. She just sits in her car for a few minutes at a time when people aren’t expected to be home. That’s not stalking. It’s sad and odd, but it’s not illegal. OP says she’s not dangerous. There’s a lot of hysteria in this thread.

This absolutely is stalking. It’s the very definition of stalking.

What fear or safety concerns does OP's husband have that would meet the definition of stalking?

[Anonymous]

It would seem that OP is the one who has the power to decide whether to disturb the current peace or escalate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom to 3 boys this makes me feel so, so sad.

+1 She is sad and in her own way, misses him. Imagine you, in her place OP, with your estranged adult kid and their spouse you out. I'm sure it could never happen, you say. But it might.

What is with this thread? This is not behavior to normalize. Lots of people feel sad without stalking their loved ones.

She’s not stalking though. She just sits in her car for a few minutes at a time when people aren’t expected to be home. That’s not stalking. It’s sad and odd, but it’s not illegal. OP says she’s not dangerous. There’s a lot of hysteria in this thread.

It's the textbook definition of stalking. Just because someone doesn't leave a lock of their hair or whatever doesn't make it not stalking

[Anonymous]

It feels like stalking and it's creepy. I would make sure it's definitely her-check license-and tell him. If she is truly disturbed, I might call the police and simply let them know a car keeps parking near your home and watching you.

Any chance it's dementia?