MIL parking across the street daily — tell DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not say anything. It would just make your DH worried that he has to do something. The thing with personality disordered parents, moms in particular, is that the adult child will always feel guilt. If he has found his peace, let him be.

This. She clearly knows where to find him in the event she needs something. She’s choosing to instead be passive, and honestly, a little strange. He’s at peace. Don’t challenge that. She knows where to find him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a pic of the car and send it to him. What is she like 80? What can she possibly do?

Hit him in the head with a pocketbook. Try to run him over. She could have a gun. Who knows? That’s why app should alert them

So that's why she shows up when she thinks they are not at home? What a vivid imagination you have.

We don’t know who the target is, we don’t know what she’s thinking. She could have been following Op around for weeks but never got a clear shot yet. She knows Op isn’t at work….

So ask her to leave and tell her you'll call the cops next time you see her. OP can go out with her shotgun and let her know she means business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take a pic of the car and send it to him. What is she like 80? What can she possibly do?

Hit him in the head with a pocketbook. Try to run him over. She could have a gun. Who knows? That’s why app should alert them

So that's why she shows up when she thinks they are not at home? What a vivid imagination you have.

We don’t know who the target is, we don’t know what she’s thinking. She could have been following Op around for weeks but never got a clear shot yet. She knows Op isn’t at work….

So ask her to leave and tell her you'll call the cops next time you see her. OP can go out with her shotgun and let her know she means business.

Are you always this dramatic? Nowhere did the OP say this was bothering her or that she even cared outside of what to do about telling her husband. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she financially stable? Is she stealing wifi?

This was the only plausibly innocent explanation I could think of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she financially stable? Is she stealing wifi?

This was the only plausibly innocent explanation I could think of.

Bad range, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not say anything. It would just make your DH worried that he has to do something. The thing with personality disordered parents, moms in particular, is that the adult child will always feel guilt. If he has found his peace, let him be.

This. She clearly knows where to find him in the event she needs something. She’s choosing to instead be passive, and honestly, a little strange. He’s at peace. Don’t challenge that. She knows where to find him.

The “strange” part is why spouse and I would share this with one another. This isn’t passive behavior.

[Anonymous]

Wait, wondering if the OP has kids and the MIL wants to see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she financially stable? Is she stealing wifi?

This was the only plausibly innocent explanation I could think of.

Bad range, though.

OP should test that. If the MIL tech savvy? Perhaps she's spying on them...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she financially stable? Is she stealing wifi?

This was the only plausibly innocent explanation I could think of.

Public libraries and fast food places and malls and lots of similar places have free Wi-Fi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a similar mom who has caused me a lifetime of emotional pain and turmoil. If I found peace with your situation like your husband seems to have done, I would not want my DH of 18 years to tell me she is doing this.
I would be very emotionally wounded and it would amplify my stress and sadness.

I would only tell him if he ever notices or mentions it or talks about her. And say it like “maybe I saw her?”

This is to protect your husbands heart, not to lie to him or keep secrets.

Eh i would be pissed if my husband kept this from me. No secrets.

I would too. What if she's sick or something and dies? You'll have never told him. He should decide what to do next, even if it opens up wounds. No secrets in a marriage. You can help him process it but it's not your responsibility to decide if he should know.

If she’s sick and dying, she can man up and contact her son. DW wasn’t even supposed to be home, after all.

I mean, sure. But now that OP knows, she needs to tell her husband. She doesn’t get to decide what’s in his best interest in this case. No secrets in a marriage and this one would go on forever.

[Anonymous]

Op, You sound like a nice spouse. You know your hub best (compared to us in DCUM world). If you think he'd lose his equanimity from learning what his mom's doing, then keeping it from him is a kindness. In somewhat different circumstances, my spouse sheilded me from dealing with an unpleasant relative (euphemism) and when I found out I was touched. I vote for the "best answer" someone else noted. Sorry for your troubles.

[Anonymous]

I would have walked up to her car and asked why she was sitting in front of my house. But yes, you should tell your husband.

[Anonymous]

I would install cameras and monitor for a few weeks to see if this is an ongoing thing. Then bring it up once I had more information.

[Anonymous]

OP here. As far as I know, she didn’t come today, though I did nap once in the afternoon. I did order a new Ring camera and will have DH install it this weekend, so hopefully we can get to the bottom of this. For now, I won’t be telling him, as though who have btdt have influenced me. We’ll see what happens…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would install cameras and monitor for a few weeks to see if this is an ongoing thing. Then bring it up once I had more information.

So do all of this instead of just knocking on her window? At great expense to install then wasting time monitoring the footage. I can't think of a worse way to get to the bottom of this.