Parents getting upset about any group invitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons. This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David. I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited). I just say, no, I’m not. I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me. It’s not a big deal.

Read the op. A kid mentioned it to another kid. Kids shouldn’t do that. Because look what happens.

And sometimes they do. It isn’t normal for one parent to confront another like this over an invitation. I don’t know anyone that that would do that

The lesson is to tell your kid: this is why we don't talk to others about these things. The kids involved lacked manners in the first place. Why would the kid tell this kid about a party he wasn't invited to? My kids know not to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons. This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David. I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited). I just say, no, I’m not. I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me. It’s not a big deal.

Read the op. A kid mentioned it to another kid. Kids shouldn’t do that. Because look what happens.

And sometimes they do. It isn’t normal for one parent to confront another like this over an invitation. I don’t know anyone that that would do that

I agree it's not normal but also we are just getting OP's perspective here. Generally when a person's behavior seems irrational to me, the problem is that I don't have enough info. Perhaps if the heard the other woman's POV, we'd at least understand her behavior, even if we still disagreed with it.

My suspicion is that her kid is having a hard time making friends and fitting in and she feels powerless to help him. Worst case scenario, the kids in this friend group are being overtly unkind and exclusionary. OP might not even be aware of these problems, but this woman may be hearing a lot about it from her kid and it's making her react emotionally.

People tend to be protective of their kids. My DD knew some girls in elementary who were not kind to her. It wasn't a huge deal but they were just very critical and condescending. It's hopefully a behavior they outgrew. I told her to steer clear of them and she did, it wasn't a huge problem. But I will admit that it made me distrust their moms and I wound up steering clear of them, too. Maybe that was unfair, but hearing about stuff like that from your kid just changes how you view another family.

+1 and I said this on the first page of this thread.
This is not about the mom wanting to bust into your exclusive social group. This is about her kid feeling left out.
The alpha mom at my school had been nothing but nice to ME. She has offered help with projects, invited me out for drinks and even a weekend trip. But she excludes my son who is shy and awkward and not sporty. "It's too bad the boys aren't friends". She has implied that he should try harder to get into her son's tight knit group. The truth is that her son is mean to mine and I have witnessed it. "You suck, loser" etc. I dont feel like seeing her knowing that. And if I told her she would never believe it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

OP didn’t lash. The other mom did. Also, healthy people don’t blame kids for adult problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

OP didn’t lash. The other mom did. Also, healthy people don’t blame kids for adult problems.

Normal people can understand cause and effect. It's clear you don't think talking about parties in front of people not invited is even an issue so not sure why you think you're qualified to give any advice. The mom has ignored OP since this initial act of rudeness. The message is loud and clear that she's not interested in OP because she probably doesn't even want her kid around these people anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons. This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David. I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited). I just say, no, I’m not. I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me. It’s not a big deal.

Read the op. A kid mentioned it to another kid. Kids shouldn’t do that. Because look what happens.

And sometimes they do. It isn’t normal for one parent to confront another like this over an invitation. I don’t know anyone that that would do that

I agree it's not normal but also we are just getting OP's perspective here. Generally when a person's behavior seems irrational to me, the problem is that I don't have enough info. Perhaps if the heard the other woman's POV, we'd at least understand her behavior, even if we still disagreed with it.

My suspicion is that her kid is having a hard time making friends and fitting in and she feels powerless to help him. Worst case scenario, the kids in this friend group are being overtly unkind and exclusionary. OP might not even be aware of these problems, but this woman may be hearing a lot about it from her kid and it's making her react emotionally.

People tend to be protective of their kids. My DD knew some girls in elementary who were not kind to her. It wasn't a huge deal but they were just very critical and condescending. It's hopefully a behavior they outgrew. I told her to steer clear of them and she did, it wasn't a huge problem. But I will admit that it made me distrust their moms and I wound up steering clear of them, too. Maybe that was unfair, but hearing about stuff like that from your kid just changes how you view another family.

+1 and I said this on the first page of this thread.
This is not about the mom wanting to bust into your exclusive social group. This is about her kid feeling left out.
The alpha mom at my school had been nothing but nice to ME. She has offered help with projects, invited me out for drinks and even a weekend trip. But she excludes my son who is shy and awkward and not sporty. "It's too bad the boys aren't friends". She has implied that he should try harder to get into her son's tight knit group. The truth is that her son is mean to mine and I have witnessed it. "You suck, loser" etc. I dont feel like seeing her knowing that. And if I told her she would never believe it.

Your kid needs his own group of friends who you feel are good friends. If they’re not available at school try extracurricular activities. Children use and then learn self-regulation and direction from parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

Maybe the host should have had all attendees and their children sign non disclosure agreements at the door. You seriously think it’s appropriate for OP to try and track down which kid said what, to whom, and who was in eat shot, and sleuth out how the other kid found out, THEN reprimand the kid and presumably their parent for not “teaching them social norms?”

OP isn’t lashing out at anyone and has been nothing but polite to the other mom. But she likely isn’t going to be inviting her anymore due to her behavior. Seems appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

Maybe the host should have had all attendees and their children sign non disclosure agreements at the door. You seriously think it’s appropriate for OP to try and track down which kid said what, to whom, and who was in eat shot, and sleuth out how the other kid found out, THEN reprimand the kid and presumably their parent for not “teaching them social norms?”

OP isn’t lashing out at anyone and has been nothing but polite to the other mom. But she likely isn’t going to be inviting her anymore due to her behavior. Seems appropriate.

Certainly wouldn't want to remind our kids about being kind. Definitely anything but that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

OP didn’t lash. The other mom did. Also, healthy people don’t blame kids for adult problems.

Normal people can understand cause and effect. It's clear you don't think talking about parties in front of people not invited is even an issue so not sure why you think you're qualified to give any advice. The mom has ignored OP since this initial act of rudeness. The message is loud and clear that she's not interested in OP because she probably doesn't even want her kid around these people anymore.

If OP and her kid didn’t talk it’s not OP’s problem someone did. It is this mom’s problem that she’s upset. She’s trying to find another adult to make their problem. OP shouldn’t let her make it OP’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

OP didn’t lash. The other mom did. Also, healthy people don’t blame kids for adult problems.

Normal people can understand cause and effect. It's clear you don't think talking about parties in front of people not invited is even an issue so not sure why you think you're qualified to give any advice. The mom has ignored OP since this initial act of rudeness. The message is loud and clear that she's not interested in OP because she probably doesn't even want her kid around these people anymore.

If OP and her kid didn’t talk it’s not OP’s problem someone did. It is this mom’s problem that she’s upset. She’s trying to find another adult to make their problem. OP shouldn’t let her make it OP’s.

You may not see a problem but OP is posting about her problem with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

OP didn’t lash. The other mom did. Also, healthy people don’t blame kids for adult problems.

Normal people can understand cause and effect. It's clear you don't think talking about parties in front of people not invited is even an issue so not sure why you think you're qualified to give any advice. The mom has ignored OP since this initial act of rudeness. The message is loud and clear that she's not interested in OP because she probably doesn't even want her kid around these people anymore.

If OP and her kid didn’t talk it’s not OP’s problem someone did. It is this mom’s problem that she’s upset. She’s trying to find another adult to make their problem. OP shouldn’t let her make it OP’s.

You may not see a problem but OP is posting about her problem with this.

Yes, the other mom tried to make it OP’s problem. OP should take the very good advice given many times in this thread and ignore or delete and block.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

OP didn’t lash. The other mom did. Also, healthy people don’t blame kids for adult problems.

Normal people can understand cause and effect. It's clear you don't think talking about parties in front of people not invited is even an issue so not sure why you think you're qualified to give any advice. The mom has ignored OP since this initial act of rudeness. The message is loud and clear that she's not interested in OP because she probably doesn't even want her kid around these people anymore.

If OP and her kid didn’t talk it’s not OP’s problem someone did. It is this mom’s problem that she’s upset. She’s trying to find another adult to make their problem. OP shouldn’t let her make it OP’s.

You may not see a problem but OP is posting about her problem with this.

Yes, the other mom tried to make it OP’s problem. OP should take the very good advice given many times in this thread and ignore or delete and block.

OP feels guilty because she knows the kids were rude talking about it. It's called a guilty conscience. She knows it was wrong.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.

Ok. And OP didn’t talk about. Neither did her kid. So move on

Instead of lashing out at this other mom, blame the kids who talked. There are reasons these social norms exist.

OP didn’t lash. The other mom did. Also, healthy people don’t blame kids for adult problems.

Normal people can understand cause and effect. It's clear you don't think talking about parties in front of people not invited is even an issue so not sure why you think you're qualified to give any advice. The mom has ignored OP since this initial act of rudeness. The message is loud and clear that she's not interested in OP because she probably doesn't even want her kid around these people anymore.

If OP and her kid didn’t talk it’s not OP’s problem someone did. It is this mom’s problem that she’s upset. She’s trying to find another adult to make their problem. OP shouldn’t let her make it OP’s.

You may not see a problem but OP is posting about her problem with this.

Yes, the other mom tried to make it OP’s problem. OP should take the very good advice given many times in this thread and ignore or delete and block.

OP feels guilty because she knows the kids were rude talking about it. It's called a guilty conscience. She knows it was wrong.

She feels guilty, because the other mom is manipulative and wants her to feel guilty. It’s not wrong to have friends. It is wrong to emotionally dump on someone who’s not your paid therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons. This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David. I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited). I just say, no, I’m not. I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me. It’s not a big deal.

Read the op. A kid mentioned it to another kid. Kids shouldn’t do that. Because look what happens.

And sometimes they do. It isn’t normal for one parent to confront another like this over an invitation. I don’t know anyone that that would do that

I agree it's not normal but also we are just getting OP's perspective here. Generally when a person's behavior seems irrational to me, the problem is that I don't have enough info. Perhaps if the heard the other woman's POV, we'd at least understand her behavior, even if we still disagreed with it.

My suspicion is that her kid is having a hard time making friends and fitting in and she feels powerless to help him. Worst case scenario, the kids in this friend group are being overtly unkind and exclusionary. OP might not even be aware of these problems, but this woman may be hearing a lot about it from her kid and it's making her react emotionally.

People tend to be protective of their kids. My DD knew some girls in elementary who were not kind to her. It wasn't a huge deal but they were just very critical and condescending. It's hopefully a behavior they outgrew. I told her to steer clear of them and she did, it wasn't a huge problem. But I will admit that it made me distrust their moms and I wound up steering clear of them, too. Maybe that was unfair, but hearing about stuff like that from your kid just changes how you view another family.

Frustration and steering clear are both normal. Managing your frustration and your child’s pain is normal. Feeling empathy for your child is very normal. Building their social skills is very normal.

Some parents are not normal. Some are extremely entitled or lack social skills or have other issues. My mom grew up without a mom herself and had terrible social skills. When she felt hurt, she always blamed someone. Sometimes she reacted explosively. This made her very unpopular. It made it hard for me to maintain close, stable friends until middle school. Some people tried to help but the situation really called for professional therapy. Heaven help the person that included out of kindness. It was only a matter of time before she blamed, judged, criticized or reacted badly to that person.

Don’t feel bad OP. Having a group of friends is not evil.

Wow, I relate to this so much. It took me until my adult life to understand a lot of relationship and social skills and now I’m happily married with many friends. In that I had to learn to lot a let go, things I was told to be angry and explosive and cut people off as a child.