Parents getting upset about any group invitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

110 kids. Of course there will be groups of friends in a crowd that large.

So don't act surprised when people sometimes feel left out.

Who's acting surprised? Sorry, not sure who you are responding to here.

OPs issues started when this other mom "found out" about her outing with her friends. Connect the dots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

110 kids. Of course there will be groups of friends in a crowd that large.

So don't act surprised when people sometimes feel left out.

Who's acting surprised? Sorry, not sure who you are responding to here.

OPs issues started when this other mom "found out" about her outing with her friends. Connect the dots.

The host said “just ask me next time and of course he can come” … the host has also invited the family to multiple parties that they didn’t show up for or rsvp in the situation that was mentioned in the OP. I think after a while you stop getting included if you don’t make the effort to go or respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

110 kids. Of course there will be groups of friends in a crowd that large.

So don't act surprised when people sometimes feel left out.

Who's acting surprised? Sorry, not sure who you are responding to here.

OPs issues started when this other mom "found out" about her outing with her friends. Connect the dots.

The host said “just ask me next time and of course he can come” … the host has also invited the family to multiple parties that they didn’t show up for or rsvp in the situation that was mentioned in the OP. I think after a while you stop getting included if you don’t make the effort to go or respond.

So what? OP is the one bent out of shape and posting about this. This is a problem of her own making. She, her friends, or their kids are bragging about their outings. I think it's funny it's biting her in the ass and making her uncomfortable now. What comes around, goes around. Learn some manners and stop talking about events other people aren't invited to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

110 kids. Of course there will be groups of friends in a crowd that large.

So don't act surprised when people sometimes feel left out.

Who's acting surprised? Sorry, not sure who you are responding to here.

OPs issues started when this other mom "found out" about her outing with her friends. Connect the dots.

The host said “just ask me next time and of course he can come” … the host has also invited the family to multiple parties that they didn’t show up for or rsvp in the situation that was mentioned in the OP. I think after a while you stop getting included if you don’t make the effort to go or respond.

So what? OP is the one bent out of shape and posting about this. This is a problem of her own making. She, her friends, or their kids are bragging about their outings. I think it's funny it's biting her in the ass and making her uncomfortable now. What comes around, goes around. Learn some manners and stop talking about events other people aren't invited to.

No one’s bragging. This is a group of parents who are friends and our kids all have different groups themselves. Some are girls and some are boys. We have taken many girls trips and go out pretty frequently and no one has ever posted a photo and it’s not discussed. One of the kids mentioned it to the kid. And the host’s response was “Of course please come”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

110 kids. Of course there will be groups of friends in a crowd that large.

So don't act surprised when people sometimes feel left out.

Who's acting surprised? Sorry, not sure who you are responding to here.

OPs issues started when this other mom "found out" about her outing with her friends. Connect the dots.

The host said “just ask me next time and of course he can come” … the host has also invited the family to multiple parties that they didn’t show up for or rsvp in the situation that was mentioned in the OP. I think after a while you stop getting included if you don’t make the effort to go or respond.

So what? OP is the one bent out of shape and posting about this. This is a problem of her own making. She, her friends, or their kids are bragging about their outings. I think it's funny it's biting her in the ass and making her uncomfortable now. What comes around, goes around. Learn some manners and stop talking about events other people aren't invited to.

No one’s bragging. This is a group of parents who are friends and our kids all have different groups themselves. Some are girls and some are boys. We have taken many girls trips and go out pretty frequently and no one has ever posted a photo and it’s not discussed. One of the kids mentioned it to the kid. And the host’s response was “Of course please come”

One of the kids mentioned it to the kid you say? Like “guess what I’m doing and you’re not?” Actions have consequences. Teach your children better and you might find these thorny situations don’t happen. Your friend group created this problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously you are not going to coordinate 110 families - only coordinate with the boys then. You can ask once, then make a group chat with any takers. That will winnow it down naturally to a manageable number and no one can rightfully get bent out of shape later. I know some people don’t like grade chats but I find them helpful for this kind of stuff, sharing intel on camps, doctors, blah blah. The bottom line IMO is that you can choose either to be more welcoming or deal with the blowback of being the leader of a clique. But I’m not feeling too sorry for your plight if all you want to do about is come here and complain.

With great power comes great responsibility OP.

Wait, what? You want OP to "coordinate" a drop-in at a kiddie gym with 55 or so families? That's insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants to be directly invited and included in the plan-making, not invited as an add-on. She is overly sensitive and now prickly. She is overreacting and it’s coming from a place of anxiety or hurt or whatever.

For the Friday thing, she is being absurd. The way to make people want to be your friend is not to be angry at them. And sometimes initiate.

It's exactly this.

Not to pile on this woman I don't even know, but her desire to be anything other than an add-on is unrealistic because OP doesn't see her as anything but a background character. This woman needs to find people who like her and enjoy her company and want her. Having a social life past the age of 30 is hard, which is why so many middle aged people these days just opt out altogether and resign themselves to the fact that their family members are going to be their social group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know if someone you talk to only once every six months is giving you the silent treatment?

We see her at various sports and activities. When I say silent treatment, I mean I say hello and she doesn’t even respond.

Honestly - move on. This person is not a friend.

[Anonymous]

This woman sounds like drama. I'd stop inviting her and ignore her freakouts when she's not.

[Anonymous]

We are unfailingly polite to all at school. We listen attentively to what others choose to share. We also don't talk about social events outside school during school events -- unless all within earshot were invited to the event. We respond to RSVP invitations, but our life is busy enough that we have to send regrets in most cases.

In short, our social life is not at DC's school. This whole thread seems so odd to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants to be directly invited and included in the plan-making, not invited as an add-on. She is overly sensitive and now prickly. She is overreacting and it’s coming from a place of anxiety or hurt or whatever.

For the Friday thing, she is being absurd. The way to make people want to be your friend is not to be angry at them. And sometimes initiate.

It's exactly this.

Not to pile on this woman I don't even know, but her desire to be anything other than an add-on is unrealistic because OP doesn't see her as anything but a background character. This woman needs to find people who like her and enjoy her company and want her. Having a social life past the age of 30 is hard, which is why so many middle aged people these days just opt out altogether and resign themselves to the fact that their family members are going to be their social group.

I don’t think she wants to be OPs friend. She just wants her kid included. For some reason her child was told about a party he wasn’t invited to and she got upset and defensive. OP doesn’t want to deal with the unpleasantness when kids spill the beans about parties at school, that’s not realistic. OP is dealing with this by creating primary and secondary text groups. She created one to ask her real friends about a get together then later created another group, just to add this one person to add her after the fact. What’s with all the text groups? This is not very mature behavior. I think this other parent is wary of all the Queen Bee shenanigans by OP and her besties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously you are not going to coordinate 110 families - only coordinate with the boys then. You can ask once, then make a group chat with any takers. That will winnow it down naturally to a manageable number and no one can rightfully get bent out of shape later. I know some people don’t like grade chats but I find them helpful for this kind of stuff, sharing intel on camps, doctors, blah blah. The bottom line IMO is that you can choose either to be more welcoming or deal with the blowback of being the leader of a clique. But I’m not feeling too sorry for your plight if all you want to do about is come here and complain.

With great power comes great responsibility OP.

Wait, what? You want OP to "coordinate" a drop-in at a kiddie gym with 55 or so families? That's insane.

Nope. But if you have an inclusive chat group that boy parents can opt into, you say “Larlo will be at kiddie gym Friday. Signups are at X if anybody wants to join”. Then you can plot with your buddy group all you want. I guess the risk with that approach is that a socially-inept child shows up and kills the vibe at the kiddie gym for your special group of charismatic boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are unfailingly polite to all at school. We listen attentively to what others choose to share. We also don't talk about social events outside school during school events -- unless all within earshot were invited to the event. We respond to RSVP invitations, but our life is busy enough that we have to send regrets in most cases.

In short, our social life is not at DC's school. This whole thread seems so odd to us.

Your lifestyle seems equally odd for someone with school aged kids.

[Anonymous]

Every now and then someone posts a similar problem to this and I wonder whether they're real. Who on earth would entertain a pouty adult who behaves this way? Unless it's the thread creator who is exaggerating the issue and the person who spoke up isn't actually all that dramatic?

I don't know. I'm middle aged, my kids are in college and high school, and I have never experienced any situation remotely like this.

[Anonymous]

I’d confront her directly. I heard you were upset at me for not inviting you. This was not an entire class invite. I’ve since invited you to 5 events you events you haven’t attended. You’ve never once invited my child anywhere so I would assume from that that you aren’t interested in being friends.

I get so angry at people who demand invites to everything but never once reciprocate or even help plan. And act pissy like they were invited last minute.