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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers.  I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum.  I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends.  - mom of teens [/quote]

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.[/quote]

You are bananas.  OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged.  I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something.  That is psycho [/quote]

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?[/quote]

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons.  This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David.  I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited).  I just say, no, I’m not.  I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me.  It’s not a big deal.  [/quote]

Read the op. A kid mentioned it to another kid. Kids shouldn’t do that. Because look what happens.[/quote]

And sometimes they do. It isn’t normal for one parent to confront another like this over an invitation.  I don’t know anyone that that would do that [/quote]

I agree it's not normal but also we are just getting OP's perspective here. Generally when a person's behavior seems irrational to me, the problem is that I don't have enough info. Perhaps if the heard the other woman's POV, we'd at least understand her behavior, even if we still disagreed with it.

My suspicion is that her kid is having a hard time making friends and fitting in and she feels powerless to help him. Worst case scenario, the kids in this friend group are being overtly unkind and exclusionary. OP might not even be aware of these problems, but this woman may be hearing a lot about it from her kid and it's making her react emotionally.

People tend to be protective of their kids. My DD knew some girls in elementary who were not kind to her. It wasn't a huge deal but they were just very critical and condescending. It's hopefully a behavior they outgrew. I told her to steer clear of them and she did, it wasn't a huge problem. But I will admit that it made me distrust their moms and I wound up steering clear of them, too. Maybe that was unfair, but hearing about stuff like that from your kid just changes how you view another family.[/quote]

Frustration and steering clear are both normal. Managing your frustration and your child’s pain is normal. Feeling empathy for your child is very normal. Building their social skills is very normal.

Some parents are not normal. Some are extremely entitled or lack social skills or have other issues. My mom grew up without a mom herself and had terrible social skills. When she felt hurt, she always blamed someone. Sometimes she reacted explosively. This made her very unpopular. It made it hard for me to maintain close, stable friends until middle school. Some people tried to help but the situation really called for professional therapy. Heaven help the person that included out of kindness. It was only a matter of time before she blamed, judged, criticized or reacted badly to that person.

Don’t feel bad OP. Having a group of friends is not evil.[/quote]

Wow, I relate to this so much. It took me until my adult life to understand a lot of relationship and social skills and now I’m happily married with many friends. In that I had to learn to lot a let go, things I was told to be angry and explosive and cut people off as a child. [/quote]

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