Parents getting upset about any group invitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

110 kids. Of course there will be groups of friends in a crowd that large.

So don't act surprised when people sometimes feel left out.

I would act surprised. I would never confront another parent for not inviting me to a personal gathering and demand I be included or my child included next time. How rude. No one gets invited to everything. It doesn’t matter if you hear about it or not- get a life and make your own gatherings. No one is owed an invitation to anything. If you didn’t get one, why would you force yourself on people? Do you own thing

Her kid wasn’t invited so she was upset and said something. If you don't like that stop talking about your events in front of others. Their rudeness was matched by your rudeness.

Why was she upset? It was only 8 kids. Why is her kids owed an invitation but the other 100 kids at school weren’t. You can’t control what other people talk about it, but you can control how you behave. Asking to be invited to something is always rude and never ok, regardless of if you “heard” someone talking about the gathering

You don't control others, ok? The rudeness started after the rude behavior or discussing parties in front of others. It's all rude which you don't seem to get. Don't talk about parties in front of other people. Is this just too hard or something? If you did that, nobody would know and wouldn't invite themselves.

No one was discussing national security secrets. If you happy to hear about someone’s social plans inadvertently, you move on with your life.

Stop giving a pass to the instigators. Talk about social plans in front of others is just rude. If you do that, you deserve whatever comes your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

We've found our Heather!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons. This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David. I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited). I just say, no, I’m not. I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me. It’s not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons. This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David. I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited). I just say, no, I’m not. I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me. It’s not a big deal.

Read the op. A kid mentioned it to another kid. Kids shouldn’t do that. Because look what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

We know why. They want the other people to know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

We know why. They want the other people to know

Kids talk. One year my son ran to me asking if we were going to some event all the kids were talking about. It was a nanny who told a child who told a class. That time we were going, but other times it was news to me. Maturity is teaching your child that not everyone can be invited all the time, and to be tactful in all scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

We know why. They want the other people to know

Kids talk. One year my son ran to me asking if we were going to some event all the kids were talking about. It was a nanny who told a child who told a class. That time we were going, but other times it was news to me. Maturity is teaching your child that not everyone can be invited all the time, and to be tactful in all scenarios.

Indeed if is. Maturity is also teaching your child to think of what might happen and to be graceful in group dynamics. Because, at the very least, there but for the grace of god go thee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons. This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David. I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited). I just say, no, I’m not. I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me. It’s not a big deal.

Read the op. A kid mentioned it to another kid. Kids shouldn’t do that. Because look what happens.

And sometimes they do. It isn’t normal for one parent to confront another like this over an invitation. I don’t know anyone that that would do that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons. This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David. I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited). I just say, no, I’m not. I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me. It’s not a big deal.

Read the op. A kid mentioned it to another kid. Kids shouldn’t do that. Because look what happens.

And sometimes they do. It isn’t normal for one parent to confront another like this over an invitation. I don’t know anyone that that would do that

I agree it's not normal but also we are just getting OP's perspective here. Generally when a person's behavior seems irrational to me, the problem is that I don't have enough info. Perhaps if the heard the other woman's POV, we'd at least understand her behavior, even if we still disagreed with it.

My suspicion is that her kid is having a hard time making friends and fitting in and she feels powerless to help him. Worst case scenario, the kids in this friend group are being overtly unkind and exclusionary. OP might not even be aware of these problems, but this woman may be hearing a lot about it from her kid and it's making her react emotionally.

People tend to be protective of their kids. My DD knew some girls in elementary who were not kind to her. It wasn't a huge deal but they were just very critical and condescending. It's hopefully a behavior they outgrew. I told her to steer clear of them and she did, it wasn't a huge problem. But I will admit that it made me distrust their moms and I wound up steering clear of them, too. Maybe that was unfair, but hearing about stuff like that from your kid just changes how you view another family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

It’s normal to occasionally find out about something you weren’t invited to for many reasons. This wasn’t a gathering at Camp David. I’ve had a friend ask me if I’m going to So and So’s dinner on the weekend (when I didn’t even know about it, i.e. I wasn’t invited). I just say, no, I’m not. I don’t make that person feel bad for mentioning it nor do I call up the host and harangue her for not inviting me. It’s not a big deal.

Read the op. A kid mentioned it to another kid. Kids shouldn’t do that. Because look what happens.

And sometimes they do. It isn’t normal for one parent to confront another like this over an invitation. I don’t know anyone that that would do that

I agree it's not normal but also we are just getting OP's perspective here. Generally when a person's behavior seems irrational to me, the problem is that I don't have enough info. Perhaps if the heard the other woman's POV, we'd at least understand her behavior, even if we still disagreed with it.

My suspicion is that her kid is having a hard time making friends and fitting in and she feels powerless to help him. Worst case scenario, the kids in this friend group are being overtly unkind and exclusionary. OP might not even be aware of these problems, but this woman may be hearing a lot about it from her kid and it's making her react emotionally.

People tend to be protective of their kids. My DD knew some girls in elementary who were not kind to her. It wasn't a huge deal but they were just very critical and condescending. It's hopefully a behavior they outgrew. I told her to steer clear of them and she did, it wasn't a huge problem. But I will admit that it made me distrust their moms and I wound up steering clear of them, too. Maybe that was unfair, but hearing about stuff like that from your kid just changes how you view another family.

Frustration and steering clear are both normal. Managing your frustration and your child’s pain is normal. Feeling empathy for your child is very normal. Building their social skills is very normal.

Some parents are not normal. Some are extremely entitled or lack social skills or have other issues. My mom grew up without a mom herself and had terrible social skills. When she felt hurt, she always blamed someone. Sometimes she reacted explosively. This made her very unpopular. It made it hard for me to maintain close, stable friends until middle school. Some people tried to help but the situation really called for professional therapy. Heaven help the person that included out of kindness. It was only a matter of time before she blamed, judged, criticized or reacted badly to that person.

Don’t feel bad OP. Having a group of friends is not evil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you sound like a bunch of middle schoolers. I thought I was in the teen forum and couldn’t believe what I was reading and just noticed I was in the elementary forum. I must have clicked here by mistake.

Ignore the mom and stop caring what anyone thinks. Soon enough, you won’t even know the parents of your kids friends. - mom of teens

^^^^

We've just found the mom that does this stuff on purpose.

You are bananas. OP did nothing at all wrong and the other mom sounds unhinged. I cannot imagine caring about this or confronting another parent about not being invited to something. That is psycho

Psycho is not explaining to your kids social norms. Since you can't control others behavior, stop putting yourself in the position to get blow back. It's really very simple. Shut your mouth, and nothing will happen. You can't control others so control your own behavior, right?

Right. And it’s never ok to invite yourself or guilt/shame someone into inviting you to something, no matter what you overhear. Go make your own plans and control your emotions

If you felt shamed, don’t keep making the same mistake. Manage the crap coming out of your mouth first. Why are you resisting the obvious solution? Keep your social plans to yourself because you can’t control others.

“I” wasn’t shamed. You are spouting nonsense. This didn’t happen to me. But clearly that was the intent of the parent OP was talking about that confronted her over this situation

So, as you know, when you can't control other people, you have to control your own behavior. In this case, stop talking in front of others about your parties. That's all that is needed. Not trying to scold strangers about how they should or should not react to the initial rudeness.