Parents getting upset about any group invitation

[Anonymous]

It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its extremely painful when you feel like your child is being excluded. She could probably deal with it better.
I'm an involved volunteer at school and a mom asked if my son was going to other involved volunteers kids Halloween party. Nope, he wasn't invited. Then yet another "friend" invited 10 boys to do a fun activity, not including mine. Saw that one on Facebook. But while volunteering the women are Uber welcoming to me.
Now the obvious answer here is not to take it personally, it's just that my kid isn't friends with their kids. But it hurts. I find myself being less friendly to these women because my son is lonely and wants friends and their sons totally ignore him. It's not fair I know but it's a mother's nature.

Some moms get way too invested in their children's social lives. I don't. My kids have friends, they can ask me if they want to invite friends over, they tell me who they want at their birthday parties, they are close in age and spend a lot of time with each other, and DH and I have our own friends. I've also become friendly with some moms at the kids' schools but our kids aren't necessarily friends and that's okay, too. The easy solution here is to separate your social life and feelings from your child's social life. It's not about you.

[Anonymous]

Honestly it sounds like you will not win with this person. You have invited her multiple times and she hasn't responded. It's not a crime to sometimes do things with just a smaller group. If someone acted the way that she is acting, I would not feel comfortable around them. If you kid likes to hang out with her kid, then by all means include her kid when you can, but only for the kid's sake since she sounds like an irrational and unreasonable person and I don't think anything you do will make her happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has she ever invited your kid to anything? Has she ever initiated plans?

You are not obligated to be anyone's social secretary.

+1

She needs to get over herself. I’m so tired of people like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its extremely painful when you feel like your child is being excluded. She could probably deal with it better.
I'm an involved volunteer at school and a mom asked if my son was going to other involved volunteers kids Halloween party. Nope, he wasn't invited. Then yet another "friend" invited 10 boys to do a fun activity, not including mine. Saw that one on Facebook. But while volunteering the women are Uber welcoming to me.
Now the obvious answer here is not to take it personally, it's just that my kid isn't friends with their kids. But it hurts. I find myself being less friendly to these women because my son is lonely and wants friends and their sons totally ignore him. It's not fair I know but it's a mother's nature.

Some moms get way too invested in their children's social lives. I don't. My kids have friends, they can ask me if they want to invite friends over, they tell me who they want at their birthday parties, they are close in age and spend a lot of time with each other, and DH and I have our own friends. I've also become friendly with some moms at the kids' schools but our kids aren't necessarily friends and that's okay, too. The easy solution here is to separate your social life and feelings from your child's social life. It's not about you.

That's the issue. Other kids are struggling socially.

[Anonymous]

Not your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your class/grade large or small? If the latter you should do a group chat with all the students (or just all the boys) to coordinate social stuff like that (going to the park, etc). Then if you do one-off stuff with a smaller group, either keep it pretty small or include all the boys.

People are busy, they can’t possibly attend everything and you should model kindness for your kids. It really doesn’t have to be that hard; the kids will split off organically into groups in middle school when parents are no longer in charge of social lives. This lady is picking up a vibe that she’s not welcome and she’s probably right.

It’s 110 children overall. There’s a group chat but it’s hard to include that many kids. We have a lot of school functions too, usually about 1x every two week.

DP: A school that large is not an "everyone is included" school. You make your group of friends and navigate your way. You don't go out of your way to be unkind, but you literally cannot invite the whole class to anything, so you will have to make some social decisions. It's not easy and it's also why smaller schools are better for some kids/families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its extremely painful when you feel like your child is being excluded. She could probably deal with it better.
I'm an involved volunteer at school and a mom asked if my son was going to other involved volunteers kids Halloween party. Nope, he wasn't invited. Then yet another "friend" invited 10 boys to do a fun activity, not including mine. Saw that one on Facebook. But while volunteering the women are Uber welcoming to me.
Now the obvious answer here is not to take it personally, it's just that my kid isn't friends with their kids. But it hurts. I find myself being less friendly to these women because my son is lonely and wants friends and their sons totally ignore him. It's not fair I know but it's a mother's nature.

Some moms get way too invested in their children's social lives. I don't. My kids have friends, they can ask me if they want to invite friends over, they tell me who they want at their birthday parties, they are close in age and spend a lot of time with each other, and DH and I have our own friends. I've also become friendly with some moms at the kids' schools but our kids aren't necessarily friends and that's okay, too. The easy solution here is to separate your social life and feelings from your child's social life. It's not about you.

That's the issue. Other kids are struggling socially.

That’s not OP’s responsibility, and OP has gone above and beyond all while this other mom pouts and seethes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its extremely painful when you feel like your child is being excluded. She could probably deal with it better.
I'm an involved volunteer at school and a mom asked if my son was going to other involved volunteers kids Halloween party. Nope, he wasn't invited. Then yet another "friend" invited 10 boys to do a fun activity, not including mine. Saw that one on Facebook. But while volunteering the women are Uber welcoming to me.
Now the obvious answer here is not to take it personally, it's just that my kid isn't friends with their kids. But it hurts. I find myself being less friendly to these women because my son is lonely and wants friends and their sons totally ignore him. It's not fair I know but it's a mother's nature.

Some moms get way too invested in their children's social lives. I don't. My kids have friends, they can ask me if they want to invite friends over, they tell me who they want at their birthday parties, they are close in age and spend a lot of time with each other, and DH and I have our own friends. I've also become friendly with some moms at the kids' schools but our kids aren't necessarily friends and that's okay, too. The easy solution here is to separate your social life and feelings from your child's social life. It's not about you.

That's the issue. Other kids are struggling socially.

+1 Many kids need help in this area, it's normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

110 kids. Of course there will be groups of friends in a crowd that large.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

110 kids. Of course there will be groups of friends in a crowd that large.

So don't act surprised when people sometimes feel left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its extremely painful when you feel like your child is being excluded. She could probably deal with it better.
I'm an involved volunteer at school and a mom asked if my son was going to other involved volunteers kids Halloween party. Nope, he wasn't invited. Then yet another "friend" invited 10 boys to do a fun activity, not including mine. Saw that one on Facebook. But while volunteering the women are Uber welcoming to me.
Now the obvious answer here is not to take it personally, it's just that my kid isn't friends with their kids. But it hurts. I find myself being less friendly to these women because my son is lonely and wants friends and their sons totally ignore him. It's not fair I know but it's a mother's nature.

Everyone experiences pain. How people handle it determines who gets excluded. If you hurt people, because you’re hurt, people will stay away

The Mom OP is dealing with handles things terribly. OP may be able to be inclusive out of kindness for a while, but eventually, she will tire of it, even if she intends never to.

That mom will be dropped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its extremely painful when you feel like your child is being excluded. She could probably deal with it better.
I'm an involved volunteer at school and a mom asked if my son was going to other involved volunteers kids Halloween party. Nope, he wasn't invited. Then yet another "friend" invited 10 boys to do a fun activity, not including mine. Saw that one on Facebook. But while volunteering the women are Uber welcoming to me.
Now the obvious answer here is not to take it personally, it's just that my kid isn't friends with their kids. But it hurts. I find myself being less friendly to these women because my son is lonely and wants friends and their sons totally ignore him. It's not fair I know but it's a mother's nature.

Some moms get way too invested in their children's social lives. I don't. My kids have friends, they can ask me if they want to invite friends over, they tell me who they want at their birthday parties, they are close in age and spend a lot of time with each other, and DH and I have our own friends. I've also become friendly with some moms at the kids' schools but our kids aren't necessarily friends and that's okay, too. The easy solution here is to separate your social life and feelings from your child's social life. It's not about you.

That's the issue. Other kids are struggling socially.

That’s not OP’s responsibility, and OP has gone above and beyond all while this other mom pouts and seethes.

Someone in the circle of friends is a blabber mouth. Don't brag about your outings then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its extremely painful when you feel like your child is being excluded. She could probably deal with it better.
I'm an involved volunteer at school and a mom asked if my son was going to other involved volunteers kids Halloween party. Nope, he wasn't invited. Then yet another "friend" invited 10 boys to do a fun activity, not including mine. Saw that one on Facebook. But while volunteering the women are Uber welcoming to me.
Now the obvious answer here is not to take it personally, it's just that my kid isn't friends with their kids. But it hurts. I find myself being less friendly to these women because my son is lonely and wants friends and their sons totally ignore him. It's not fair I know but it's a mother's nature.

Some moms get way too invested in their children's social lives. I don't. My kids have friends, they can ask me if they want to invite friends over, they tell me who they want at their birthday parties, they are close in age and spend a lot of time with each other, and DH and I have our own friends. I've also become friendly with some moms at the kids' schools but our kids aren't necessarily friends and that's okay, too. The easy solution here is to separate your social life and feelings from your child's social life. It's not about you.

That's the issue. Other kids are struggling socially.

That’s not OP’s responsibility, and OP has gone above and beyond all while this other mom pouts and seethes.

I don't think PP is responding to OP's situation here; rather to the PP's insinuation that all kids are like here kids and no parent ever should help a kid learn how to develop a social life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that OP admits to having side group chats with a few. We know this happens but usually people will deny deny and pretend they all showed up for ice cream or at the park spontaneously. OP is in a clique and other people noticed.

110 kids. Of course there will be groups of friends in a crowd that large.

So don't act surprised when people sometimes feel left out.

Who's acting surprised? Sorry, not sure who you are responding to here.