Phones In Grade Four? What?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Smart phones are terrible for elementary school kids in almost too many ways to even name. Get them a Tin Can instead.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2025/09/30/the-landline-is-back/

Ooma or similar is WAY cheaper than a Tin Can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got my 5th grader a phone (VERY reluctantly) when school started this year, because he is taking the bus home and will be at home alone for up to 30-45 minutes. We have two different neighbors who are aware of the plan and will usually be home in case of an emergency, but we still felt like it was important for him to be able to call us or a neighbor if he needed help, so we don't have to rely on the neighbors.

We could NOT find a "dumb" phone without any internet access (if you already have one, that is probably your best bet or maybe you can find one used).

My husband found an app to lock down any and all apps and so he can literally do NOTHING except make phone calls during certain times, listen to spotify family, and we let him have the weather app lol.

He originally had access to his camera/photos; however, we discovered he took some inappropriate photos on the school bus - another child giving the middle finger and so he showed us he is not ready to have access to that. NO access to messaging. TBH, kids can get in SO much trouble without even understanding the consequences through texting, photos, and of course social media.

He knows that if he misbehaves, he will have the phone taken away & will have to go to after-school care (which makes for a very long day for him). He will not have access to additional apps on his phone until he is much older, but I will allow him to call his friends and chat if they want to talk on the phone.

You gave him a CELL PHONE for being at Home? He can use a landline....wtf?

I don't have a landline. It also doesn't solve the issue if he gets locked out or if there's some other emergency outside of the home.

Omg this is what people are talking about. Guess what!? We figured it out before cell phones. You can get a landline for 10/mo. Get a smart lock. Get a ring doorbell...wont that go to YOUR phone? An emergency outside of home....like what? Hes in school then a bus then home with two neighbors as backups.

You know whats a known? Bullying. Porn. Dopamine Addiction. Giving kids access too much too soon.

We have a landline for my kids. I'm solo parenting right now. Recently I was with one of my kids and a known and trusted friend picked another up to take her to a committment. It briefly flashed through my mind that it was a situation where a watch might have been nicer, because I could have unobtrusively checked that my kid made it to her destination and back home. Everything was fine, but I wouldn't have minded knowing where she was throughout the process, even though I could have gotten in touch with either her or the adult driving her at any time.

Kid is in upper ES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got my 5th grader a phone (VERY reluctantly) when school started this year, because he is taking the bus home and will be at home alone for up to 30-45 minutes. We have two different neighbors who are aware of the plan and will usually be home in case of an emergency, but we still felt like it was important for him to be able to call us or a neighbor if he needed help, so we don't have to rely on the neighbors.

We could NOT find a "dumb" phone without any internet access (if you already have one, that is probably your best bet or maybe you can find one used).

My husband found an app to lock down any and all apps and so he can literally do NOTHING except make phone calls during certain times, listen to spotify family, and we let him have the weather app lol.

He originally had access to his camera/photos; however, we discovered he took some inappropriate photos on the school bus - another child giving the middle finger and so he showed us he is not ready to have access to that. NO access to messaging. TBH, kids can get in SO much trouble without even understanding the consequences through texting, photos, and of course social media.

He knows that if he misbehaves, he will have the phone taken away & will have to go to after-school care (which makes for a very long day for him). He will not have access to additional apps on his phone until he is much older, but I will allow him to call his friends and chat if they want to talk on the phone.

You gave him a CELL PHONE for being at Home? He can use a landline....wtf?

I don't have a landline. It also doesn't solve the issue if he gets locked out or if there's some other emergency outside of the home.

Omg this is what people are talking about. Guess what!? We figured it out before cell phones. You can get a landline for 10/mo. Get a smart lock. Get a ring doorbell...wont that go to YOUR phone? An emergency outside of home....like what? Hes in school then a bus then home with two neighbors as backups.

You know whats a known? Bullying. Porn. Dopamine Addiction. Giving kids access too much too soon.

We have a landline for my kids. I'm solo parenting right now. Recently I was with one of my kids and a known and trusted friend picked another up to take her to a committment. It briefly flashed through my mind that it was a situation where a watch might have been nicer, because I could have unobtrusively checked that my kid made it to her destination and back home. Everything was fine, but I wouldn't have minded knowing where she was throughout the process, even though I could have gotten in touch with either her or the adult driving her at any time.

Kid is in upper ES.

You could AirTag your kid. A classmate of DD’s wears an air tag every single day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

[Anonymous]

You're doing the right thing OP. Stay strong. We will likely get a gizmo watch for our 10 year old next year because he has some complicated sports pickups/drop offs. I'm even worried about that being a distraction for him. No freaking way am I giving him a smart phone until 8th grade (at the absolute earliest).

I will say, he is at a K-8 and I do agree it's easier (socially) to be without. Most parents are on the same page about smart phones. I really cherish this time when the social stuff doesn't follow him home, we can buffer him from some of the scary stuff and he can just be a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

PP here. My kids are at a K-12. They are involved in both school and club athletics. My 8th grader does have a phone, because of the athletics. Not sure about her peers who don't.

But I don't feel any pressure to get the lower school kids devices, and your irritation that I might ask you about them will not change that. Not one bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only kids I know who had phones that early had divorced parents.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

The only phone I'd consider for my kids, even when they get to high school, would be a Light Phone or an old-fashioned flip phone. There's just no need to give my children an extremely distracting device when they need to focus on their coursework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

Not a problem if you dont allow dumb short-sighted stuff like this. 10pm on a school night at what age...11?12?
Insanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

So your kid has no device and never needs to tell you to please come get them because practice has been rained out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

The only phone I'd consider for my kids, even when they get to high school, would be a Light Phone or an old-fashioned flip phone. There's just no need to give my children an extremely distracting device when they need to focus on their coursework.

Or you can lock down a cheapo smart phone with parental controls. It's really not that hard to turn it into a dumb phone.

But truly - if your kid has a laptop how are you ensuring they are focusing on their coursework anyway? If you actually are, fun fact: same monitoring software works on phones!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlAqn2QNpAM&t=400s