Phones In Grade Four? What?!

[Anonymous]

So amusing to hear all of you parents of little kids acting like you know everything.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I got my 5th grader a phone (VERY reluctantly) when school started this year, because he is taking the bus home and will be at home alone for up to 30-45 minutes. We have two different neighbors who are aware of the plan and will usually be home in case of an emergency, but we still felt like it was important for him to be able to call us or a neighbor if he needed help, so we don't have to rely on the neighbors.

We could NOT find a "dumb" phone without any internet access (if you already have one, that is probably your best bet or maybe you can find one used).

My husband found an app to lock down any and all apps and so he can literally do NOTHING except make phone calls during certain times, listen to spotify family, and we let him have the weather app lol.

He originally had access to his camera/photos; however, we discovered he took some inappropriate photos on the school bus - another child giving the middle finger and so he showed us he is not ready to have access to that. NO access to messaging. TBH, kids can get in SO much trouble without even understanding the consequences through texting, photos, and of course social media.

He knows that if he misbehaves, he will have the phone taken away & will have to go to after-school care (which makes for a very long day for him). He will not have access to additional apps on his phone until he is much older, but I will allow him to call his friends and chat if they want to talk on the phone.

You gave him a CELL PHONE for being at Home? He can use a landline....wtf?

I don't have a landline. It also doesn't solve the issue if he gets locked out or if there's some other emergency outside of the home.

Omg this is what people are talking about. Guess what!? We figured it out before cell phones. You can get a landline for 10/mo. Get a smart lock. Get a ring doorbell...wont that go to YOUR phone? An emergency outside of home....like what? Hes in school then a bus then home with two neighbors as backups.

You know whats a known? Bullying. Porn. Dopamine Addiction. Giving kids access too much too soon.

+1

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlAqn2QNpAM&t=400s

I'm a PP who mentioned a locked down phone. I know how to install a keystroke logger if necessary and my kids know that as well. I work in a field where I'm better at this stuff than they are, and they know if they push it I will use my full expertise.

I recognize not everyone has that benefit, but it works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to get a phone in eighth grade. END OF DISCUSSION! However in her fourth grade class a lot of parents are getting their kids phones. Should I get her an Apple Watch? Should I cave and get her a phone? A dummy phone? I think the other parents need to be better but I don’t really know what to do, I’m not going to get her a phone. Should I get her one? Great, now I’m crying!

You sound unhinged, OP. Crying? Flip flopping from “never!!!” to “should I???” within the same sentence? Over your middle elementary school kid wanting a phone? Lady just say no and move on. This isn’t a crisis. You need to manage your own emotions and anxiety before your kid hits middle school I’m being serious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

My kid has a Pinwheel phone. It's actually locked down. It's even on the list of recommendations from Wait Until 8th. She has so few apps that there aren't loopholes and I can see her usage statistics on my phone so I know she isn't using it for other purposes.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlAqn2QNpAM&t=400s

I'm a PP who mentioned a locked down phone. I know how to install a keystroke logger if necessary and my kids know that as well. I work in a field where I'm better at this stuff than they are, and they know if they push it I will use my full expertise.

I recognize not everyone has that benefit, but it works for us.

If you ask AI about how teenagers get around parental controls, there's a surprisingly long list of ways. You're probably already aware of them all, but many will be new to the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlAqn2QNpAM&t=400s

I'm a PP who mentioned a locked down phone. I know how to install a keystroke logger if necessary and my kids know that as well. I work in a field where I'm better at this stuff than they are, and they know if they push it I will use my full expertise.

I recognize not everyone has that benefit, but it works for us.

If you ask AI about how teenagers get around parental controls, there's a surprisingly long list of ways. You're probably already aware of them all, but many will be new to the rest of us.

For all of those so so concerned about phones, there are many who dont give a second thought to their household iPad or tablet. Many 10 yos get free rein of the internet on those. Yet their parents pat themselves on the back for not giving their kid a phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlAqn2QNpAM&t=400s

I'm a PP who mentioned a locked down phone. I know how to install a keystroke logger if necessary and my kids know that as well. I work in a field where I'm better at this stuff than they are, and they know if they push it I will use my full expertise.

I recognize not everyone has that benefit, but it works for us.

If you ask AI about how teenagers get around parental controls, there's a surprisingly long list of ways. You're probably already aware of them all, but many will be new to the rest of us.

For all of those so so concerned about phones, there are many who dont give a second thought to their household iPad or tablet. Many 10 yos get free rein of the internet on those. Yet their parents pat themselves on the back for not giving their kid a phone.

Beyond that, have any of you ever seen how not locked down a school issued laptop is?

Yes, some teachers do diligently check via Lightspeed or whatever, but still!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

I think when kids are in a K-8 it's much easier to not have a phone. If they are in public and in a middle school where they have a lot of independence it's odd not to have a phone. My kid has practices that run until almost 10pm in 6th grade. No way I'd have him there without some sort of communication device. If you are the parent that says oh he can use a friend's phone or the parent who asks other parents where their kid is because we can track them and you can't but you want to: it's time to get them a device.

I don't really understand the argument for getting a middle school kid a phone. So they can use ChatGPT to do all their homework? So they can explore every subgenre of porn? So they can experience e-bullying? So they can obsess over which kid said what on social media? Just get an AirTag if you want to track them.

My middle school kid has a locked down phone so she can't do anything you mention. But she does ride her bike 2 miles to go to and from swim practice, 1 mile to the public library, bikes to piano lessons, to middle school and to another sports practice, so I like to be able to reach her since she's so independent. She does also use the phone to reserve library books on the public library app and to listen to spotify when she goes for a run. I can also see every text she sends and receives on my phone, so her device usage is closely supervised.

Parents who are critical of a middle schooler having a phone are either parents of a kid who has no independence or are only thinking of an unrestricted smart phone.

Skeptical that locked down phones are actually locked down. There are creative ways around restrictions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlAqn2QNpAM&t=400s

I'm a PP who mentioned a locked down phone. I know how to install a keystroke logger if necessary and my kids know that as well. I work in a field where I'm better at this stuff than they are, and they know if they push it I will use my full expertise.

I recognize not everyone has that benefit, but it works for us.

If you ask AI about how teenagers get around parental controls, there's a surprisingly long list of ways. You're probably already aware of them all, but many will be new to the rest of us.

I mean now matter what I do, there's always the standby of using a friends' phone. Instilling ethics matters too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So amusing to hear all of you parents of little kids acting like you know everything.

4th grade is a little kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So amusing to hear all of you parents of little kids acting like you know everything.

4th grade is a little kid.

Not a quoted PP.

The OP was about a fourth grader, but there are plenty of ES parents on here lecturing middle and high school parents about their kids having phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So amusing to hear all of you parents of little kids acting like you know everything.

4th grade is a little kid.

Not a quoted PP.

The OP was about a fourth grader, but there are plenty of ES parents on here lecturing middle and high school parents about their kids having phones.

This anti-tech parent enjoys it when other kids use their phones and watches to call their parents for stupid reasons, i.e. "I'm bored, can you pick me up?"

[Anonymous]

DH got a sim card for his old cell for 10yo DS to take when he goes out for bike rides or to the store on his own or is home alone for short periods of tme. In our case we can't install a landline (leased house) and we want to give him the freedom to be out on his own but ability to communicate with us if needed. Otherwise the phone stays in our kitchen cabinet. He can only use the phone, messaging, and google maps.

[Anonymous]

Get her the phone, you’ll be grateful you did when she’s still talking to you after she goes to college…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only kids I know who had phones that early had divorced parents.

We are still holding firm on no phones, but then again we are adults and have managed to stay civil. If he wants to talk to one of us while he’s at the others place we just…use our phones for that 😀. Zero reason for him to have his own phone as an elementary school.