Phones In Grade Four? What?!

[Anonymous]

Get. Her. The. Phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get. Her. The. Phone.

Way too young

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to get a phone in eighth grade. END OF DISCUSSION! However in her fourth grade class a lot of parents are getting their kids phones. Should I get her an Apple Watch? Should I cave and get her a phone? A dummy phone? I think the other parents need to be better but I don’t really know what to do, I’m not going to get her a phone. Should I get her one? Great, now I’m crying!

Why are you crying? I’m sorry but it’s really not that big a deal. Why are you yelling at us? If you yell at your daughter too, probably she wants a phone to escape the sound of you yelling. A dummy phone? What?

Get your act together OP

[Anonymous]

We have a next door neighbor who was a fantastic friend for my kids. Very creative kid -- they were always playing some pretend game or dress up. Making huge messes in their bedrooms but who cares because they were using their imaginations and playing for hours. The parents got her an iphone, and let her download every social media app. She now comes over, brings her phone with her, and I find her laying on the floor watching videos while my kids complain that their friend no longer wants to do anything but watch shorts. The phone literally broke this child. The child no longer functions as a child, and instead is a zombie. My kids do not play with her any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a next door neighbor who was a fantastic friend for my kids. Very creative kid -- they were always playing some pretend game or dress up. Making huge messes in their bedrooms but who cares because they were using their imaginations and playing for hours. The parents got her an iphone, and let her download every social media app. She now comes over, brings her phone with her, and I find her laying on the floor watching videos while my kids complain that their friend no longer wants to do anything but watch shorts. The phone literally broke this child. The child no longer functions as a child, and instead is a zombie. My kids do not play with her any more.

Out of curiosity, are the child’s parents also big iPhone users? I wonder to what extent parents are passing their own portable device addictions down to their kids…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is going to get a phone in eighth grade. END OF DISCUSSION! However in her fourth grade class a lot of parents are getting their kids phones. Should I get her an Apple Watch? Should I cave and get her a phone? A dummy phone? I think the other parents need to be better but I don’t really know what to do, I’m not going to get her a phone. Should I get her one? Great, now I’m crying!

Do not get her phone. She’s too young and those parents are insane. Once you give her one you can’t come back. You will not be the only one waiting till 8th grade. She will be able to communicate with them on an iPad at home with strict time limits.

Also - FYI - those apps that say the limit screen time and protect your kids have 1 million work around and kids figure them all out.

Mom of 9th grader who got a phone in 5th and totally regretted it. Took it away in 7th for most of the year after way too much fighting and online bullying and scary moment with strangers.

[Anonymous]

Ehh maybe an Apple Watch this year and a phone next year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually do think it matters what the other parents are doing. If we (parents) could all agree to age gate things like cell phones and social media (which I think is the bigger worry in regards to a smart phone), all of our children would be better off. I think 8th grade is reasonable for a phone that is not connected to the internet. But no social media until at least 16 - I hope by the time my kids are that age it is the law!

This is the real world. I hate social media but I am a realist. Don’t you remember being 16? Sex, drugs and RnR everywhere yet most of us grew up to be responsible members of our communities. Forbidding social media until 16 will never work en masse and will not protect kids from exploitation at an older age.

[Anonymous]

Wow! My kid is in fourth and none of his friends have phones. Hell no! Not until 8th at least.

[Anonymous]

I'm with Australia on this. Wait as long as you can.

[Anonymous]

OP- CRYING? Own your decision and do what’s right for your family.

And do something about your anxiety before you have a teen with bigger problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually do think it matters what the other parents are doing. If we (parents) could all agree to age gate things like cell phones and social media (which I think is the bigger worry in regards to a smart phone), all of our children would be better off. I think 8th grade is reasonable for a phone that is not connected to the internet. But no social media until at least 16 - I hope by the time my kids are that age it is the law!

This is the real world. I hate social media but I am a realist. Don’t you remember being 16? Sex, drugs and RnR everywhere yet most of us grew up to be responsible members of our communities. Forbidding social media until 16 will never work en masse and will not protect kids from exploitation at an older age.

You are completely ignoring the reality of social media, the internet, phone addiction and developing brains.
Sure, kids went crazy for the Beatles in the 60s. Punk rock in the 80s. Tamagochis and Beanie babies in the 90s. BUT and there is a big BUT here! You had to interact with the world to be crazed. 60s went to shops to buy records, listened to the radio, talked with other people, went to dances. Etc etc etc.

This is completely isolation and addictive behavior.

Also, my 2nd grader was just talked to about "group chats" because there are kids in his class with their own phones and/or IPads at home with apparently no oversight. I don't care how involved you are in their sports and STEM fair activities. If you give your kid unrestricted access to the internet and group chats and all that, you are an idiot. Lazy. Ineffectual.

[Anonymous]

For fourth we plan to do a watch with texting capabilities, but easy to lock down so we can limit to only us and MAYBE one or two friends if we know the parents and we know it will be monitored on all sides.

4th/5th is when my kid can start walking to and from school on her own, and also when a lot of kids in our neighborhood start getting a bit more freedom (like walking to a friends how on their own, playing at the playground down the block without an adult) so it makes sense to have some kind of communication device at that age. We recently started leaving our kid home alone for very short periods of time (like 15 minutes) while we run errands, and we taught her how to call us using her dad's iPad in case of emergency. So the watch would be the next step from that.

I would also like to wait until 8th grade for an actual phone and that's our plan, but I don't think you just deny all personal tech and then give them an iPhone on the first day of 8th grade. We have to teach these kids how to use this technology. Yes phones have huge downsides, I don't want my kid addicted to her phone or getting into mental health issues on social media. But she needs to know how to text, how to look up directions, how to navigate the internet, and yes, how to use social media responsibly. That starts with some supervised use of personal tech devices when they are ready, and I think a 4th grader is ready for a watch and some texting privileges.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 DC - youngest is in HS. None had a phone until summer after 8th grade. We states with parent limits. They all learned how to use technology just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For fourth we plan to do a watch with texting capabilities, but easy to lock down so we can limit to only us and MAYBE one or two friends if we know the parents and we know it will be monitored on all sides.

4th/5th is when my kid can start walking to and from school on her own, and also when a lot of kids in our neighborhood start getting a bit more freedom (like walking to a friends how on their own, playing at the playground down the block without an adult) so it makes sense to have some kind of communication device at that age. We recently started leaving our kid home alone for very short periods of time (like 15 minutes) while we run errands, and we taught her how to call us using her dad's iPad in case of emergency. So the watch would be the next step from that.

I would also like to wait until 8th grade for an actual phone and that's our plan, but I don't think you just deny all personal tech and then give them an iPhone on the first day of 8th grade. We have to teach these kids how to use this technology. Yes phones have huge downsides, I don't want my kid addicted to her phone or getting into mental health issues on social media. But she needs to know how to text, how to look up directions, how to navigate the internet, and yes, how to use social media responsibly. That starts with some supervised use of personal tech devices when they are ready, and I think a 4th grader is ready for a watch and some texting privileges.

My 4th grader walks to friends’ houses in the neighborhood, stays home alone, etc. He has a regular digital watch so he knows what time to come home. If he wants to make plans with a school friend, he asks me to text the parent.

I have an older child as well and made them a Google Voice account to text from an ipad at home in 6th grade, then gave very locked down phone in 8th.

It is possible, and I don’t think you want to saddle your kids with tech (especially wearable tech) too young.

Regarding social media, yes my older child sees it with friends. My 4th grader sees all sorts of crap from the 4th grader who has an unlocked smartphone on the bus (really, parents?). But that’s not a reason to just give in imo. It’s the hours spent scrolling alone, the algorithms, the rabbit holes, the waiting for likes - that’s what’s the worst. So not allowing social media is a gift to my kids, even if they might be feel left out. We have to do what we believe is the right thing.