Phones In Grade Four? What?!

[Anonymous]

My 4th grader wanted a Gizmo, which we agreed to for their birthday in late 3rd grade. Now this year, all of their friends moved up from the Gizmo to the Apple Watch so they can't chat with their friends anymore. We're planning to hold out until MS for the Apple Watch though, and later for phones.

[Anonymous]

I don't see a need in 4th, but maybe a watch if they walk home and you want to track them. No phone until 8th your kid will be a massive outlier.

[Anonymous]

Many of my DD's 5th grade friends have phones, tik tok accounts, YouTube channels, watches. My DD is allowed to watch you tube kids and she can use kids messenger. She has about 30 minutes to an hour home alone and so she can call me on there to let me know she is home safe. I also put some contacts of family and friends in case of an emergency. At one point, I did ask her if she wanted to be a part of the group chats her friends are in and she said no. Too much drama she said.

[Anonymous]

Having access to a family device that lives in a supervised area at home with chat is a nice compromise imo - give them the ability to make plans with friends or socialize, but don’t give them a piece of tech they are always wearing or carrying. I still don’t think even this is needed for most 4th graders, but it’s not the same as a phone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not hard to not give your kids phones. Our don’t have them but have friends that do. Just make sure your kids are raised the way you want to. You can’t control the world. Just your household.

But what screens do your kids have access to? Let me guess, they both have an iPad with iChat, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not hard to not give your kids phones. Our don’t have them but have friends that do. Just make sure your kids are raised the way you want to. You can’t control the world. Just your household.

But what screens do your kids have access to? Let me guess, they both have an iPad with iChat, right?

Sorry, iMessage. Not an Apple person.

Our kids have iPads but there’s no messaging capability. They can call us on FaceTime if needed, and they have gizmo watches which are very helpful when roaming the neighborhood with their friends. I like them to have independence but also the ability to get in touch. Phones - we plan to wait for high school.

This just isn't helpful. It's easy not to have kids with a phone in elementary. It suddenly makes less sense when they're 13 yo (i.e., 7th grade) and they want to set up a ride to practice or call a friend with a homework question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only kids I know who had phones that early had divorced parents.

+1 You're not wrong.

And you probably don't want to know what those kids went through besides having early access to a cell phone. Because - fact - most people don't just "fall out of love," that's the cover story they tell you because they don't want to describe the actual messed-up situation that led to their divorce.

[Anonymous]

We plan to hold out for as long as possible. we did get our kids gizmo watches when they were in 3rd and started walking around the neighborhood alone. They don't take them to school or on the bus -- just when they are going outside the typical neighborhood zone. We are their only contacts on them, so they aren't drawn to them and they are mostly in a drawer.

We'll probably do an apple watch in 6th or 7th (our oldest is in 5th now so haven't quite figured it out). Some of his friends have iphones already although mixed on whether they bring them in their backpack. We're definitely not doing a smartphone until high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only kids I know who had phones that early had divorced parents.

+1 You're not wrong.

Yep, these are the mean girls too.

No. I’m PP who mentioned divorce and that has nothing to do with mean girls. I was talking about kids who got phones early because they commuted between two households and needed a means for contacting the other parent. I’m generally anti-tech for kids but I get that.

[Anonymous]

I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

[Anonymous]

My sister got her kid a phone in third grade. I no longer allow our kids to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got my 5th grader a phone (VERY reluctantly) when school started this year, because he is taking the bus home and will be at home alone for up to 30-45 minutes. We have two different neighbors who are aware of the plan and will usually be home in case of an emergency, but we still felt like it was important for him to be able to call us or a neighbor if he needed help, so we don't have to rely on the neighbors.

We could NOT find a "dumb" phone without any internet access (if you already have one, that is probably your best bet or maybe you can find one used).

My husband found an app to lock down any and all apps and so he can literally do NOTHING except make phone calls during certain times, listen to spotify family, and we let him have the weather app lol.

He originally had access to his camera/photos; however, we discovered he took some inappropriate photos on the school bus - another child giving the middle finger and so he showed us he is not ready to have access to that. NO access to messaging. TBH, kids can get in SO much trouble without even understanding the consequences through texting, photos, and of course social media.

He knows that if he misbehaves, he will have the phone taken away & will have to go to after-school care (which makes for a very long day for him). He will not have access to additional apps on his phone until he is much older, but I will allow him to call his friends and chat if they want to talk on the phone.

You gave him a CELL PHONE for being at Home? He can use a landline....wtf?

I don't have a landline. It also doesn't solve the issue if he gets locked out or if there's some other emergency outside of the home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just surveyed my 6th grader - 90% of girls and 50% of boys have phones. Small private so she actually knows. My kid does. It’s really inappropriate to blame other parents for what you do or don’t allow. Grow a pair.

We're at a small private and the proportions are nowhere near that. Some of my 8th grader's peers are still using Apple Watch and iMessages on a tablet.

[Anonymous]

Get her the phone!

[Anonymous]

Smart phones are terrible for elementary school kids in almost too many ways to even name. Get them a Tin Can instead.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2025/09/30/the-landline-is-back/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got my 5th grader a phone (VERY reluctantly) when school started this year, because he is taking the bus home and will be at home alone for up to 30-45 minutes. We have two different neighbors who are aware of the plan and will usually be home in case of an emergency, but we still felt like it was important for him to be able to call us or a neighbor if he needed help, so we don't have to rely on the neighbors.

We could NOT find a "dumb" phone without any internet access (if you already have one, that is probably your best bet or maybe you can find one used).

My husband found an app to lock down any and all apps and so he can literally do NOTHING except make phone calls during certain times, listen to spotify family, and we let him have the weather app lol.

He originally had access to his camera/photos; however, we discovered he took some inappropriate photos on the school bus - another child giving the middle finger and so he showed us he is not ready to have access to that. NO access to messaging. TBH, kids can get in SO much trouble without even understanding the consequences through texting, photos, and of course social media.

He knows that if he misbehaves, he will have the phone taken away & will have to go to after-school care (which makes for a very long day for him). He will not have access to additional apps on his phone until he is much older, but I will allow him to call his friends and chat if they want to talk on the phone.

You gave him a CELL PHONE for being at Home? He can use a landline....wtf?

I don't have a landline. It also doesn't solve the issue if he gets locked out or if there's some other emergency outside of the home.

Omg this is what people are talking about. Guess what!? We figured it out before cell phones. You can get a landline for 10/mo. Get a smart lock. Get a ring doorbell...wont that go to YOUR phone? An emergency outside of home....like what? Hes in school then a bus then home with two neighbors as backups.

You know whats a known? Bullying. Porn. Dopamine Addiction. Giving kids access too much too soon.