Phones In Grade Four? What?!

[Anonymous]

This does seem to vary by school. My son’s friends mostly got first devices this year in 6th grade and none were smart phones. Range of flip phones and watches. They have to be 100% off at school. So far they don’t really text but it’s been useful for him to call me to say he’s going to the park or for me to communicate a change in evening plans, eg, I’m running late on metro.

My 3rd grader has one friend who has a smart phone and I will not permit her to go to that friend’s house as a result. I know for a fact the girl is on TikTok constantly - her parents think it’s cute. And who knows what else. No one else seems to have any device yet.

A colleague with same age kids in a different district reports all the kids have smart phones by third grade!

[Anonymous]

Y'all live in a different world than us. None of the kids we know in that age range have phones. It's unusual for someone to have a watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all live in a different world than us. None of the kids we know in that age range have phones. It's unusual for someone to have a watch.

Among my kids' peers at that age very few have phones (it was usually 1 kid in 4th grade), but once that single kid gets a phone it has an impact on the entire grade.

[Anonymous]

Plan is watch in 6th grade, when DD will have a long walk to and from school, and phone in 8th or 9th.

[Anonymous]

it is crazy giving a smart phone to an elementary school student. you're going to destroy their attention spans. and don't complain when they become phone addicts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all live in a different world than us. None of the kids we know in that age range have phones. It's unusual for someone to have a watch.

Among my kids' peers at that age very few have phones (it was usually 1 kid in 4th grade), but once that single kid gets a phone it has an impact on the entire grade.

+1

When one parent buys their kid a phone, it creates pressure on other parents to follow suit. Kids get FOMO. It's important that parents say no. It's not just your kid who is affected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all live in a different world than us. None of the kids we know in that age range have phones. It's unusual for someone to have a watch.

Among my kids' peers at that age very few have phones (it was usually 1 kid in 4th grade), but once that single kid gets a phone it has an impact on the entire grade.

+1

When one parent buys their kid a phone, it creates pressure on other parents to follow suit. Kids get FOMO. It's important that parents say no. It's not just your kid who is affected.

PP you quoted here - I don't know that it's the FOMO pressure. My now 8th grader mentioned "everyone" having a phone in 6th and we pointed out logically where she was wrong and moved on. No big deal.

It's the way that at birthday parties suddenly that kid is on her phone the whole time. The way things become about recording silly videos and texting them to who-knows-who - because you can't control what happens on another kids' phone. The way, as someone upthread said, you suddenly have to decide if you can do playdates at that house any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a fourth grader. He got a basic watch at the end of 2nd grade out of necessity since I started a new job and I needed to be able to contact him. He can only contact those on a list I approve, which are all family members. He has a few friends with apple watches that seem to call each other, and every now and then, but I don't think anyone that I know of has an actual phone. I think most kids in my neighborhood get phones starting for 7th grade or so.

Were you letting your 2nd grader stay home alone? I would think that most 2nd graders are with adults all the time and you could contact the adult with him.

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else seeing kids come home from school and play dates repeating all the brain rot and TikTok stuff? I don’t know for sure, but DS told me a 2nd grader in his class goes on TikTok “all the time,” which I assume is where this is coming from.

[Anonymous]

For folks who are bothered, remember to sign the Wait Until 8th pledge and encourage your friends to do it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a fourth grader. He got a basic watch at the end of 2nd grade out of necessity since I started a new job and I needed to be able to contact him. He can only contact those on a list I approve, which are all family members. He has a few friends with apple watches that seem to call each other, and every now and then, but I don't think anyone that I know of has an actual phone. I think most kids in my neighborhood get phones starting for 7th grade or so.

Were you letting your 2nd grader stay home alone? I would think that most 2nd graders are with adults all the time and you could contact the adult with him.

DP, but some families have challenges financially that make this difficult.

However in this situation a VoIP phone like Ooma can serve as a home phone for the same price as a watch, if anyone ever needs an option here. My kids are older (old enough to stay home for an hour under Virginia guidelines, but not old enough for their own devices) and like having a home phone for the occasional situations where they are by themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else seeing kids come home from school and play dates repeating all the brain rot and TikTok stuff? I don’t know for sure, but DS told me a 2nd grader in his class goes on TikTok “all the time,” which I assume is where this is coming from.

I mean my 6th grader is vaguely aware of the trends. My 4th grader less so, only the biggest (ex: "six seven") register on her consciousness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it is crazy giving a smart phone to an elementary school student. you're going to destroy their attention spans. and don't complain when they become phone addicts.

I think it’s crazy to give toddler and K-2 kids iPads, but I see tablets everywhere. And parents hand their phones to infants and toddler all the time. Nobody bats an eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of teens here. Our kids' friends mostly got phones in 6th. We waited till 7th but we know families who waited till 9th. Pressure mounts every year. Get together with as many of your kids friends' parents as you can. Make a pact to hold off together.

Meh. This must vary by class. My kids’ K-8 started asking parents to sign the Wait Until 8th pledge a couple of years ago. Almost all of the parents in my daughter’s 5th grade class have signed it. Most 7th graders have phones. I assume their parents think it’s beneficial for the kids to have them at that age.

I'm talking about a group of parents weathering it out together. Not a school form. How many parents do you know who thought it was beneficial back when they bought the phone or introduced the iPad - but they regret it later? I know scores. I know it's annoying when older parents say, "learn from my mistakes." But here we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else seeing kids come home from school and play dates repeating all the brain rot and TikTok stuff? I don’t know for sure, but DS told me a 2nd grader in his class goes on TikTok “all the time,” which I assume is where this is coming from.

PP with the third grader above - yes, that’s how we first discovered friend had phone and TikTok. Asked DD where she was learning this silly stuff and she chirped “from so-and-so, she has TikTok!”

I can’t prevent her from hearing it at school but I don’t want her viewing it first hand. (Or participating. Wouldn’t surprise me if the friend or friend’s parents shoot videos to post themselves and I don’t want my kid involved.)