Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

"Officer, listen. My daughter likes to spend a lot of time on her back. That's true. And, yes, she likes to keep a full stable. And she lies a bunch. But, really, the problem is a mom of one of her tricks is upset with us."

LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

"Officer, listen. My daughter likes to spend a lot of time on her back. That's true. And, yes, she likes to keep a full stable. And she lies a bunch. But, really, the problem is a mom of one of her tricks is upset with us."

LOL.

You are taking way too much valuable oxygen from smart people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

+1. I’d also go to the school principal and file a written bullying form and ask for Mom to be put on a no contact list at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

+1. I’d also go to the school principal and file a written bullying form and ask for Mom to be put on a no contact list at school.

Yup. Same here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Also. It’s not “devastating” to have to get an STD test. A bit of a bummer, maybe, but not devastating. Get over yourself.

Worrying that you might have an incurable disease that could affect your health for the rest of your life because your partner cheated on you is a bit of a bummer indeed.

[Anonymous]

Wait, a 17 yo boy gets to sleep with a girl for 9 months and then move on, free and clear?

And that’s bad, why???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Also. It’s not “devastating” to have to get an STD test. A bit of a bummer, maybe, but not devastating. Get over yourself.

Worrying that you might have an incurable disease that could affect your health for the rest of your life because your partner cheated on you is a bit of a bummer indeed.

Histrionic is a type of personality disorder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As another poster stated, please be very careful and what language you use around the house talking about this. Your son is hurting and you really don’t want this to become how he feels women and relationships. This went poorly, and he invested in the wrong person. It’s normal to have a lot of feelings under the circumstances.

When we are intimate with someone, we run the risk of being hurt by them. That’s the lesson. People can disappoint us and it’s really important that we know who we are and make good choices in our partners.

+1

[Anonymous]

My assessment of the situation is that everyone involved is probably a little trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

I know right? OP is really close to getting banned from her son’s high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

I know right? OP is really close to getting banned from her son’s high school.

Actually the girl is probably violating all sorts of the honor code if they have one. She can be expelled for lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

I think the conversation that you need to have with your 17 YO son is, first empathy and sympathy (yes, we've all been there) and second, why it's a mistake to get sexually involved at this age. How devasting for a teen to have to have an STD test.

Holy moly! It’s not a mistake to get sexually involved at 17 - it’s normal human behavior. Yes, use a condom to prevent STDs. Yes, both parties should use birth control and have discussed emergency contraception and abortion as back up plans in case of unplanned pregnancy (or should know that a partner would choose to carry to term instead of emergency contraception or abortion.)

Also. It’s not “devastating” to have to get an STD test. A bit of a bummer, maybe, but not devastating. Get over yourself.

As for OP, don’t call the girl’s mom. When you slut-shame, you are also shaming your own son impliedly. He loved his girlfriend and when you slut-shame you are implying that the person he loved was actually worthless thus also calling into question his basic judgement in selecting relationships - way to send him off into adulthood with some enormous baggage.

Instead, just empathize. It’s disappointing to have a relationship that breaks up, but is is part of learning what one wants in a relationship and how to communicate about that. Validate your son’s desire to have a monogamous, deeper, longer relationship without slut-shaming people who choose non-monogamy and shorter relationships, both of which are perfectly legitimate choices. Also validate your son’s desire to have a partner who is honest. It’s unfair to lie about monogamy, and part of learning to be an adult is learning how to restrain one’s impulses and communicate honestly and kindly when things aren’t working out. At his age, these are lessons people are still learning.

+1. This is good advice. There are some lessons learned for your son, OP. But shaming his former gf, calling her mother, etc. is not going to help your son and is a really inappropriate way to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

+1. I’d also go to the school principal and file a written bullying form and ask for Mom to be put on a no contact list at school.

Yup. Same here.

May as well broadcast to the world that your daughter is a slut if you do that.

Oh honey, I'm a 47 year old gen exer. You are most certainly not going to slut shame me into silence. You're a nut job who needs to stay far away from people.

The "Oh honey" lady is here. She's still carrying that chip on her shoulder too.

No chip. Just have no time in my life for lunatics like yourself. I let the professionals deal with people like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

I know right? OP is really close to getting banned from her son’s high school.

Actually the girl is probably violating all sorts of the honor code if they have one. She can be expelled for lying.

+1 I know a kid who got expelled for having a fake ID.

Fake ID= Lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

+1. I’d also go to the school principal and file a written bullying form and ask for Mom to be put on a no contact list at school.

Yup. Same here.

May as well broadcast to the world that your daughter is a slut if you do that.

Oh honey, I'm a 47 year old gen exer. You are most certainly not going to slut shame me into silence. You're a nut job who needs to stay far away from people.

The "Oh honey" lady is here. She's still carrying that chip on her shoulder too.

No chip. Just have no time in my life for lunatics like yourself. I let the professionals deal with people like you.

Oh, honey.