Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?

Did they actually have a conversation about being exclusive? This sounds like teens being teens and not handling first relationships well.

Leave the girl alone. You’ll be the psychopath if you try screaming at a teenage girl because she hurt your son’s feelings.

[Anonymous]

STDs - are they using condoms? I mean the men in DC are sleeping with like 3+ women per week from Tinder. Dont sex shame your son's former girlfriend and DO NOT message the mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

This is a good point. I’ve had situations in high school where I was nice to a boy and he got mad when I went to a dance with someone else. Social skills aren’t great at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Save your time. Apples don’t fall far from the tree. Treat this as a life lesson for your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

[Anonymous]

I get your anger, but you have to let this go. Many more people will break his heart in other ways. Helping him by teaching him how to manage his anger, frustration, and sadness is what you can do now. He will also be a little wiser when he dates again.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Don't do it. If I got a message like that about my daughter from a grown women I would be appalled. That's definitely creepy and overstepping. Also, you likely don't know all the details.

Focus on supporting your son. I don't agree with other posters that he was doing anything wrong by being in a sexual relationship at this age. It's part of life and it's not like he is 13. But the fact that they had an intimate relationship adds another layer of pain to the betrayal; I get that.

You're a good mom and you love your kid. Let yourself cool down. Fume to your DH about what a "skank" the girl is, but don't use those words with your son. You don't want to turn him into a misogynistic AH. Just keep telling him you love him, you know this hurts, but this, too, shall pass and he'll meet someone who is worthy of his love and loyalty.

[Anonymous]

That's weird and won't help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?

At 17. Get real! While it sounds like OP's son had some real feelings or at the minimum is feeling like a fool for being lied to, they're just dumb kids. Lick your wounds and move on.

I guarantee you wouldn't be so quick to dismiss this if it were your daughter on the receiving end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

I know you're hurt on your son's behalf, but this misogyny is not a good look.

[Anonymous]

You are INSANE! Sorry but this is teenagers figuring themselves out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

I don't believe this at all, especially with social media/snap/insta. How did she string along 3 guys with no photo evidence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

You would have gotten a lot more sympathy here if you had posted that this was your daughter and her boyfriend was seeing two other girls on the side. Posters would have been fuming and calling him all kinds of names. The constant misandry on DCUM is astounding. I really hope it's not as bad IRL.

Anyway, I understand your anger and frustration. The best thing you can do is empathize with your son and vent to your DH. Don't succumb to the desire to call her what she is, just acknowledge and help him figure out what might have been warning signs in hindsight so he will know what to look out for going forward. There are plenty of psychos out there of both genders.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. It won't make anything better for your son.

It will feed the raging mama bear that wants vengeance but it will not help your son. And it may actually cause more grief for him socially, or make him feel humiliated, or...

So just don't do it.

Also, the girl is also just a kid. And a kid who is juggling 3 relationships and major secrets and now what is probably huge fallout from that, is struggling mightily with her own issues - for sure.

And she has a mom who loves her, and probably wants her to be a good and decent person.

So just prevent yourself from doing anything like what you're contemplating.

Comfort your son. Lean in with him. He will be ok in time and you will then be able to feel somewhat calmer.

(Acknowledging here that I still bear a MASSIVE grudge against a child and a negligent mother whose actions resulted in harm coming to my child years ago. It was an accident. I'm still furious. It's a problem I acknowledge...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

I don't believe this at all, especially with social media/snap/insta. How did she string along 3 guys with no photo evidence?

With three profiles probably. Not that hard. Who cares what you believe anyway? You're just one of those shrews who always has to contradict anything an OP says.

-not OP.