Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

[Anonymous]

Life is about learning lessons. Bad GFs/BFs are part of the journey. Name calling and tattling to the mom is not a very adult response to a teenage break up.

[Anonymous]

Who the f has time junior or senior year for three supposed boyfriends?

Loser alert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

I think the conversation that you need to have with your 17 YO son is, first empathy and sympathy (yes, we've all been there) and second, why it's a mistake to get sexually involved at this age. How devasting for a teen to have to have an STD test.

+1. Gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?

All of it when talking about teens!

Define it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your son is a little loose with his morals as well. 17 and having sex? And then blaming HER? Also, he has to know she's not a virgin, right? So he has to know she's putting out all over the place. That's probably why he dated her.

No, they're both gross.

This. Full stop.

This is prob another Troll post anyhow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STDs - are they using condoms? I mean the men in DC are sleeping with like 3+ women per week from Tinder. Dont sex shame your son's former girlfriend and DO NOT message the mother.

We all know how kids like her and OP’s son end up…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

The boys have spoke and??

The trampy spoils went to one of them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

Judging by your reaction, your son was raised by a psycho and that’s the level of crazy that feels normal to him. Of course he sought out a girl who was a little crazy for his first relationship.

I see you don't know the term ironic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Honestly if I was the girl’s mom and got this kind of message from a grown woman I’d go to the police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As another poster stated, please be very careful and what language you use around the house talking about this. Your son is hurting and you really don’t want this to become how he feels women and relationships. This went poorly, and he invested in the wrong person. It’s normal to have a lot of feelings under the circumstances.

When we are intimate with someone, we run the risk of being hurt by them. That’s the lesson. People can disappoint us and it’s really important that we know who we are and make good choices in our partners.

This! OP’s dehumanizing language (trash, wh*re, etc.) is really the wrong thing for her son to take away from this experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you sound like you are ten years old

who calls a 17 year old a 'skank' - grow the f up.

Op CLAIMS the date was sleeping with three different people over the last few months. Thats a skank, of any age or gender.

Racking up the body count before age 21, nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

Grow up, OP. You’re calling a 17 year old a “psycho little tramp!?” I understand being empathetic toward your son and what he’s going through, but you’re WAY too involved in this. If he’s old enough to have a relationship and have sex, he’s old enough to deal with the consequences himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:JFC helicopter mom.

Doesn’t matter if the girl was right or wrong - if he’s old enough to have sex, he is old enough to navigate relationships without mommy.

If you fall into the “let mommy handle it” trap, he’s going to end up completely dependent on you and not know how to handle these things himself.

Do you really want to end up with a 40 year old son who, whenever he has a problem with his wife, calls mommy and lets her deal with it? Great way for him to end up divorced.

By all means, be there for him, listen to him, empathize with him, but ultimately, let him decide how he wants to handle it. Don’t be that mom.

-signed, someone who stopped hiring young adults because of how often moms came to job interviews or called me when I was being “mean” to their kids.

Sounds like you're the problem if multiple parents approached you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

I think the conversation that you need to have with your 17 YO son is, first empathy and sympathy (yes, we've all been there) and second, why it's a mistake to get sexually involved at this age. How devasting for a teen to have to have an STD test.

Holy moly! It’s not a mistake to get sexually involved at 17 - it’s normal human behavior. Yes, use a condom to prevent STDs. Yes, both parties should use birth control and have discussed emergency contraception and abortion as back up plans in case of unplanned pregnancy (or should know that a partner would choose to carry to term instead of emergency contraception or abortion.)

Also. It’s not “devastating” to have to get an STD test. A bit of a bummer, maybe, but not devastating. Get over yourself.

As for OP, don’t call the girl’s mom. When you slut-shame, you are also shaming your own son impliedly. He loved his girlfriend and when you slut-shame you are implying that the person he loved was actually worthless thus also calling into question his basic judgement in selecting relationships - way to send him off into adulthood with some enormous baggage.

Instead, just empathize. It’s disappointing to have a relationship that breaks up, but is is part of learning what one wants in a relationship and how to communicate about that. Validate your son’s desire to have a monogamous, deeper, longer relationship without slut-shaming people who choose non-monogamy and shorter relationships, both of which are perfectly legitimate choices. Also validate your son’s desire to have a partner who is honest. It’s unfair to lie about monogamy, and part of learning to be an adult is learning how to restrain one’s impulses and communicate honestly and kindly when things aren’t working out. At his age, these are lessons people are still learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

She’s 17. You are psycho and an adult. What’s your excuse?