How do you approach dating when you are broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP was correct in his assessment. The responses here clearly show that the burden on men are much higher when it comes to what they bring on the table.

What does a woman in the same exact situation as OP brings to the table? Just wondering..

I’m sorry that your reading comprehension is so low. Try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was correct in his assessment. The responses here clearly show that the burden on men are much higher when it comes to what they bring on the table.

What does a woman in the same exact situation as OP brings to the table? Just wondering..

I’m sorry that your reading comprehension is so low. Try again.

Tell us which part of the statement you disagree with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would be someone I would consider dating. However, after finding out that you provide 50% more than decreed (assuming the amount is based on need calculation) on child support, I would immediately eliminate you as marriage potential.

Big red flag for me that you are either holding on to guilt or that you trust your ex more than yourself to provide for your children. Why not invest that money in a college savings account or other investment vehicle that will eventually go to your kids?

OP here. The reason I send more is due to extra curricular activities. I have debated with myself many times whether I should take them out of their activities. But I wanted them to have as much a normal life as possible. And some of the support goes into college savings as well. That's how it ended up being 50% more.

Fair enough. Red turned to yellow flag. If you want to make that green: show that you are an involved father that isn’t pushing the full mental load of parenting onto the mother. Sign the kids up for their xcs yourself (presumably, these are weekend activities that YOU are taking them to?!) and manage a college savings account yourself. Why are pushing all that onto the mother? Sheesh, you sound just like my ex when we were married. Thankfully, our negotiated settlement spells out exactly who signs up and pays based on the season (our kids do fall and spring sports).

You have your kids 3 out of 7 days, yet seem to only “write a check” and then wallow in your self-pity.

There we go again. There we go again

There what goes again? Getting called out for being the lazy parent?

For b**g as usual even after divorcing your ex. F**g move on. Endlessly playing victim

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hold up. The kids have two overnights with you a week in your 1-br apt in a shitty neighborhood? Also, since you’re “broke,” is that one weekday dinner a home cooked meal?

My guess is you’re taking them out to a restaurant near their mom’s house and wasting $100+/week. Use that money towards your rent and move closer or at least to a better area.

- someone in your dating pool that would question your life decisions

Yeah something isn't adding up here. I'm guessing he doesn't have his kids 3/7 days at his shitty apartment in a shitty neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen men ending being a FWB for an older (50+) woman in this situation but OP needs to be ripped and good looking for that. Think a tennis coach

Not in my personal experience. I'm currently "with" a 50 year old woman and I'm very average looking.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP I hope you're now seeing what many people could've told you right off the bat. Some women would look down on you, some would recognize you're a good guy but want to do more expensive things, and some would give you a shot.

You won't find anyone in the latter group without encountering some in the first two but go for it. Try to have a thick skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’ve seen men ending being a FWB for an older (50+) woman in this situation but OP needs to be ripped and good looking for that. Think a tennis coach

Not in my personal experience. I'm currently "with" a 50 year old woman and I'm very average looking.

Maybe your woman is also average looking or below average

[Anonymous]

You need to date women who sincerely have no interest in creating more children, and whose own children are financially secure. Avoid anyone who might possibly hope/expect you to help fund yet another child. I'd limit you to women with graduate degrees in your search criteria in order to find women who earn enough to provide for themselves without your contribution. And you need to be able to invest some money in socializing with a woman. That might mean sending less to your kids, but under no circumstances would it be attractive for you to expect the woman to cover the costs of your dinner and drinks. You need to not be a drain on her finances, but you don't have to be able to pay for her all the time.

[Anonymous]

Why is it than when a man shares his struggles about dating people are mean, condescending and even hostile? Don't men deserve an equal chance?

When women share their struggles, people sympathize. They go further, they give meaningful advice and encouragement. They don't criticize them as harshly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it than when a man shares his struggles about dating people are mean, condescending and even hostile? Don't men deserve an equal chance?

When women share their struggles, people sympathize. They go further, they give meaningful advice and encouragement. They don't criticize them as harshly.

Nice guys finish last

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it than when a man shares his struggles about dating people are mean, condescending and even hostile? Don't men deserve an equal chance?

When women share their struggles, people sympathize. They go further, they give meaningful advice and encouragement. They don't criticize them as harshly.

Could it be because the belief is that women seek a genuine relationship and not just a hookup?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it than when a man shares his struggles about dating people are mean, condescending and even hostile? Don't men deserve an equal chance?

When women share their struggles, people sympathize. They go further, they give meaningful advice and encouragement. They don't criticize them as harshly.

Could it be because the belief is that women seek a genuine relationship and not just a hookup?

Yea, and relationships require investing one’s time, money, mental energy.

A lot of men want no strings trouble free sex without being able to offer anything and they call it “a relationship”. Once the woman asserts her needs they ghost

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend pays over $300k per year in CS and alimony so could be worse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend pays over $300k per year in CS and alimony so could be worse

$300k ie $25k/month ie $6250/week ie $892/day

Does a woman really needs $892/day to care of herself and her kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend pays over $300k per year in CS and alimony so could be worse

$300k ie $25k/month ie $6250/week ie $892/day

Does a woman really needs $892/day to care of herself and her kids?

If he paid $300K I bet he has $700k left for himself. If he needs it, then his kids would benefit from some of that money, too