How do you approach dating when you are broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it than when a man shares his struggles about dating people are mean, condescending and even hostile? Don't men deserve an equal chance?

When women share their struggles, people sympathize. They go further, they give meaningful advice and encouragement. They don't criticize them as harshly.

He got a lot of good advice here. People are being harsh because he's being clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women will perhaps disagree with my opinion, but I think it's true. Our society expect men not to be "broke". If OP were a woman in the same exact scenario, the same women pounding on OP will be cheering her up and telling her she will have no issues finding a guy.

When women are broke it's okay. Excuses are made for them..When men are broke it's their own fault.

I have a close friend who is in a pretty similar position. She’s a family med doctor, so a similar income to OP. She pays child support and spousal support to her ex.
But she isn’t living in a one bedroom apartment in a bad part of town crying broke. The issue isn’t that the OP is broke. The issues is that the OP isn’t broke but somehow thinks he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this feels like a troll post but okay.

I’m dating a super attractive 42 year old guy who is pretty broke! The reason it works is because I don’t really need anything from him- financially. I want his money to be spent on his kids. I am financially independent and value things like honesty, humor, reliability, intellect, heart and sexual compatibility before I consider money.

How old are you vs his 42?
OP probably wants to date younger

I’m 50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have my kids Friday evening until Monday morning.

This will add another challenge to dating, but it's not the end of the world. Yes, just get on an app and start going on dates. Post GOOD pics. Have a good profile. Ask friends for advice. Follow dating coaches on Instagram. Read reddit threads about how to make the most of the apps. It's easy to get overwhelmed and that won't help your confidence. Pay for the premium plan. Every friend of mine agrees with this.

Also, women should not know anything about your finances for several dates.

Women will find your dedication to your children attractive. They will find your guitar playing attractive.

-A guy in a similar situation

OP here. Thanks for sharing your advice.

My partner is super attractive. When he showed up on our date and opened with “hey I’m &$@&& I live in my parents basement” I got a little wet. That face combined with that sort of self deprecating honesty got him in the door. I had been seeing fat old “generous” men and men posing by their boat their Mercedes their…..whatever- and I found his lack of ego super disarming and sexy.

Frankly I needed a lover who is at my house all the time because I have two dogs. I’m happy to make my beautiful home out love shack

He’s a medical professional who works 12 hour hospital shifts, often overnight. He makes $125- so does fine- but has THREE kids so yep he’s broke! Again- I don’t need his money but I like his love and companionship and sex. I like it a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women will perhaps disagree with my opinion, but I think it's true. Our society expect men not to be "broke". If OP were a woman in the same exact scenario, the same women pounding on OP will be cheering her up and telling her she will have no issues finding a guy.

When women are broke it's okay. Excuses are made for them..When men are broke it's their own fault.

I have a close friend who is in a pretty similar position. She’s a family med doctor, so a similar income to OP. She pays child support and spousal support to her ex.
But she isn’t living in a one bedroom apartment in a bad part of town crying broke. The issue isn’t that the OP is broke. The issues is that the OP isn’t broke but somehow thinks he is.

Is your close friend dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it than when a man shares his struggles about dating people are mean, condescending and even hostile? Don't men deserve an equal chance?

When women share their struggles, people sympathize. They go further, they give meaningful advice and encouragement. They don't criticize them as harshly.

This “struggle” was rooted in misogynistic assumptions on OPs part. A woman who posted the same way would be met with the same.

Single women “gold diggers” trope is alive and well.

[Anonymous]

“But then when I read how judgemental so many women on this forum are I wonder how the hell can I even date if I am this broke. I get it money is important, many of the women here claim they have their own money and money doesn't matte, but then when at the same time say a guy making X is broke, a guy making X shouldn't be dating etc. of course it's not all women but it's a lot of them.”

That’s what I mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this feels like a troll post but okay.

I’m dating a super attractive 42 year old guy who is pretty broke! The reason it works is because I don’t really need anything from him- financially. I want his money to be spent on his kids. I am financially independent and value things like honesty, humor, reliability, intellect, heart and sexual compatibility before I consider money.

How old are you vs his 42?
OP probably wants to date younger

I’m 50.

So yea, your BF "aged up" to get access to free p...y.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have my kids Friday evening until Monday morning.

This will add another challenge to dating, but it's not the end of the world. Yes, just get on an app and start going on dates. Post GOOD pics. Have a good profile. Ask friends for advice. Follow dating coaches on Instagram. Read reddit threads about how to make the most of the apps. It's easy to get overwhelmed and that won't help your confidence. Pay for the premium plan. Every friend of mine agrees with this.

Also, women should not know anything about your finances for several dates.

Women will find your dedication to your children attractive. They will find your guitar playing attractive.

-A guy in a similar situation

OP here. Thanks for sharing your advice.

My partner is super attractive. When he showed up on our date and opened with “hey I’m &$@&& I live in my parents basement” I got a little wet. That face combined with that sort of self deprecating honesty got him in the door. I had been seeing fat old “generous” men and men posing by their boat their Mercedes their…..whatever- and I found his lack of ego super disarming and sexy.

Frankly I needed a lover who is at my house all the time because I have two dogs. I’m happy to make my beautiful home out love shack

He’s a medical professional who works 12 hour hospital shifts, often overnight. He makes $125- so does fine- but has THREE kids so yep he’s broke! Again- I don’t need his money but I like his love and companionship and sex. I like it a lot.

oh, be careful with these attractive medical professionals. A lot of bacterial and viral infections in hospitals that they tend to pick up randomly. ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP was correct in his assessment. The responses here clearly show that the burden on men are much higher when it comes to what they bring on the table.

What does a woman in the same exact situation as OP brings to the table? Just wondering..

Her body and her companionship, same as OP. This is not a gender-biased discussion; stop trying so hard to make it one.

As other posters have said, advice would be the same.

[Anonymous]

Yes if a broke 46 yo woman came here asking how to date with no money the advice would be “ stop gold digging, pay your way, get your s..,t together first then date” etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this feels like a troll post but okay.

I’m dating a super attractive 42 year old guy who is pretty broke! The reason it works is because I don’t really need anything from him- financially. I want his money to be spent on his kids. I am financially independent and value things like honesty, humor, reliability, intellect, heart and sexual compatibility before I consider money.

How old are you vs his 42?
OP probably wants to date younger

I’m 50.

So yea, your BF "aged up" to get access to free p...y.

Exactly! I mean- it’s hardly free/ it’s quite exclusive …how you say p…y.

But yes and I aged down for similar reasons. I’m not going to marry anyone so they better bring it in the bedroom- and be kind and sensual and have a great body.

So yes- I don’t need their money and I want their masterful D. They don’t want more kids and are broke and love my (how you say?) older p…y.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have my kids Friday evening until Monday morning.

This will add another challenge to dating, but it's not the end of the world. Yes, just get on an app and start going on dates. Post GOOD pics. Have a good profile. Ask friends for advice. Follow dating coaches on Instagram. Read reddit threads about how to make the most of the apps. It's easy to get overwhelmed and that won't help your confidence. Pay for the premium plan. Every friend of mine agrees with this.

Also, women should not know anything about your finances for several dates.

Women will find your dedication to your children attractive. They will find your guitar playing attractive.

-A guy in a similar situation

OP here. Thanks for sharing your advice.

My partner is super attractive. When he showed up on our date and opened with “hey I’m &$@&& I live in my parents basement” I got a little wet. That face combined with that sort of self deprecating honesty got him in the door. I had been seeing fat old “generous” men and men posing by their boat their Mercedes their…..whatever- and I found his lack of ego super disarming and sexy.

Frankly I needed a lover who is at my house all the time because I have two dogs. I’m happy to make my beautiful home out love shack

He’s a medical professional who works 12 hour hospital shifts, often overnight. He makes $125- so does fine- but has THREE kids so yep he’s broke! Again- I don’t need his money but I like his love and companionship and sex. I like it a lot.

oh, be careful with these attractive medical professionals. A lot of bacterial and viral infections in hospitals that they tend to pick up randomly. ..

Gosh thank you so much. I’m a dr- he’s an ERZ PA and hung like a horse and we will defffff keep this in mind! Appreciate you! Kind sexless soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have my kids Friday evening until Monday morning.

This will add another challenge to dating, but it's not the end of the world. Yes, just get on an app and start going on dates. Post GOOD pics. Have a good profile. Ask friends for advice. Follow dating coaches on Instagram. Read reddit threads about how to make the most of the apps. It's easy to get overwhelmed and that won't help your confidence. Pay for the premium plan. Every friend of mine agrees with this.

Also, women should not know anything about your finances for several dates.

Women will find your dedication to your children attractive. They will find your guitar playing attractive.

-A guy in a similar situation

OP here. Thanks for sharing your advice.

My partner is super attractive. When he showed up on our date and opened with “hey I’m &$@&& I live in my parents basement” I got a little wet. That face combined with that sort of self deprecating honesty got him in the door. I had been seeing fat old “generous” men and men posing by their boat their Mercedes their…..whatever- and I found his lack of ego super disarming and sexy.

Frankly I needed a lover who is at my house all the time because I have two dogs. I’m happy to make my beautiful home out love shack

He’s a medical professional who works 12 hour hospital shifts, often overnight. He makes $125- so does fine- but has THREE kids so yep he’s broke! Again- I don’t need his money but I like his love and companionship and sex. I like it a lot.

oh, be careful with these attractive medical professionals. A lot of bacterial and viral infections in hospitals that they tend to pick up randomly. ..

Gosh thank you so much. I’m a dr- he’s an ERZ PA and hung like a horse and we will defffff keep this in mind! Appreciate you! Kind sexless soul.

Hung as a horse actually is not everything (by far) for good sex. Even not pleasant for some women.
And if he’s a PA, he’s not broke . He just doesn’t have money to send on YOU.
If a pretty young nurse crosses his path when he slightly improves his finances, you’ll be forgotten in no time.
Happened way too often in my circle with these younger dudes, so I’m beyond the stage of bragging to anyone about dating younger.

[Anonymous]

Okay, Eyore.

He’s just a great boyfriend. I’ll survive if either one of us (when either one of us) chooses to end it with your mindset why even walk outside? Must be a hard way to live.

And okay thank you for letting me know what kind of D you prefer. I’ve got just what I like and I’m enjoying it.