How do you approach dating when you are broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you approach dating when you are broke? I'm 46 and been sick red for a year now. I haven't even tried dating. I'm just in a me-phase gym, healthy diet, plenty of sleep, mindfulness and just positive energy.

The thing is I am broke though. I am paying child support for 2 kids. They live in a great 3 bedroom apartment with mom (who is dating younger) in a great school district. I'm happy my kids are in a healthy and safe environment.

Me on the hand I am not in a very nice part of town, in a 1 bedroom apartment. I will make that sacrifice all over again for my kids no regrets. If I didn't make this sacrifice (I am sending 50% more than required by the decree) I would be living in a nicer place and probably happier.

Some days like today though I'm down, lonely and wish I had a companion. But then when I read how judgemental so many women on this forum are I wonder how the hell can I even date if I am this broke. I get it money is important, many of the women here claim they have their own money and money doesn't matte, but then when at the same time say a guy making X is broke, a guy making X shouldn't be dating etc. of course it's not all women but it's a lot of them.

Do broke women like me, wonder about the same as well? Or is it just broke men that are out of luck.

Okay rant over lol. Thanks for reading.

You don't, or you either date fat women, addicts, trash, single moms with kids from different dads, etc. Dating costs money and you don't have it. You need to focus on improving yourself, improving your income and improving the life you are providing for your kids. Find a hobby you find fun an enjoyable and focus on that. Find healthy activities to do, invite some friends, take some risks and try to make new friends.

That is how you find happiness as a single 40s something man. You're a 46 year man whining about companionship. You sound like a child.

Sincerely,
43 year old man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay in your lane, OP and you’ll be fine. Date a single mom your age with limited time and resources who doesn’t want anything from you but casual hookups. Look hard and you will find her.

Dont do this. Living in sin is wrong and not worth it. Get married.

Opinion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Dont do this. Living in sin is wrong and not worth it. Get married.

Worked so well last time. Why not do it again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get yourself together first. Stabilize financially and focus on friendships. No situationships. No FWB.

Otherwise, you will end up paying CS for another kid you can’t afford and all three will suffer.

This. A lot of men have done well post divorce. For some men they view it as a challenge to build themselves back up financially.

The VAST majority of divorced men I know in their 40s have actually not done well at all. Very few of these guys have climbed out of the emotional and financial hole. When two professionals are involved in a divorce, the dude almost always loses, or so it seems.

Not me. I did much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you approach dating when you are broke? I'm 46 and been sick red for a year now. I haven't even tried dating. I'm just in a me-phase gym, healthy diet, plenty of sleep, mindfulness and just positive energy.

The thing is I am broke though. I am paying child support for 2 kids. They live in a great 3 bedroom apartment with mom (who is dating younger) in a great school district. I'm happy my kids are in a healthy and safe environment.

Me on the hand I am not in a very nice part of town, in a 1 bedroom apartment. I will make that sacrifice all over again for my kids no regrets. If I didn't make this sacrifice (I am sending 50% more than required by the decree) I would be living in a nicer place and probably happier.

Some days like today though I'm down, lonely and wish I had a companion. But then when I read how judgemental so many women on this forum are I wonder how the hell can I even date if I am this broke. I get it money is important, many of the women here claim they have their own money and money doesn't matte, but then when at the same time say a guy making X is broke, a guy making X shouldn't be dating etc. of course it's not all women but it's a lot of them.

Do broke women like me, wonder about the same as well? Or is it just broke men that are out of luck.

Okay rant over lol. Thanks for reading.

You don't, or you either date fat women, addicts, trash, single moms with kids from different dads, etc. Dating costs money and you don't have it. You need to focus on improving yourself, improving your income and improving the life you are providing for your kids. Find a hobby you find fun an enjoyable and focus on that. Find healthy activities to do, invite some friends, take some risks and try to make new friends.

That is how you find happiness as a single 40s something man. You're a 46 year man whining about companionship. You sound like a child.

Sincerely,
43 year old man

You should be working three jobs and trying to start a business.

The good news is, if own your own place, have a decent income and are in good shape (lifting 3-4 days a week, cardio and having a decent diet will put you in the top 1% compared to the typical DC fatass), dating will be beyond easy for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you approach dating when you are broke? I'm 46 and been sick red for a year now. I haven't even tried dating. I'm just in a me-phase gym, healthy diet, plenty of sleep, mindfulness and just positive energy.

The thing is I am broke though. I am paying child support for 2 kids. They live in a great 3 bedroom apartment with mom (who is dating younger) in a great school district. I'm happy my kids are in a healthy and safe environment.

Me on the hand I am not in a very nice part of town, in a 1 bedroom apartment. I will make that sacrifice all over again for my kids no regrets. If I didn't make this sacrifice (I am sending 50% more than required by the decree) I would be living in a nicer place and probably happier.

Some days like today though I'm down, lonely and wish I had a companion. But then when I read how judgemental so many women on this forum are I wonder how the hell can I even date if I am this broke. I get it money is important, many of the women here claim they have their own money and money doesn't matte, but then when at the same time say a guy making X is broke, a guy making X shouldn't be dating etc. of course it's not all women but it's a lot of them.

Do broke women like me, wonder about the same as well? Or is it just broke men that are out of luck.

Okay rant over lol. Thanks for reading.

You don't, or you either date fat women, addicts, trash, single moms with kids from different dads, etc. Dating costs money and you don't have it. You need to focus on improving yourself, improving your income and improving the life you are providing for your kids. Find a hobby you find fun an enjoyable and focus on that. Find healthy activities to do, invite some friends, take some risks and try to make new friends.

That is how you find happiness as a single 40s something man. You're a 46 year man whining about companionship. You sound like a child.

Sincerely,
43 year old man

You should be working three jobs and trying to start a business.

The good news is, if own your own place, have a decent income and are in good shape (lifting 3-4 days a week, cardio and having a decent diet will put you in the top 1% compared to the typical DC fatass), dating will be beyond easy for you.

I turned 50 this year. Unfortunately I have ED, but it was improved a lot. I have been working out for a year. I am not the sexiest 50 years old alive, but in a room among my peers I do stand out. And strangely wherever I go with men around my age a seizable are very much out of shape.

[Anonymous]

OP is not the only dad paying more than 50% of the required amount. The vast majority of people paying child support do. When you add health care cost, clothing, shelter, camps, tutoring, sports, vacations etc it's significantly beyond 50%.

[Anonymous]

You should not be dating in your 50s if you do not make at least 200K/yr post-tax money, and exclude child support and/or alimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should not be dating in your 50s if you do not make at least 200K/yr post-tax money, and exclude child support and/or alimony.

Agree. I’m a 47 yo woman who makes 250k post tax and post all obligations. It’s not much but enough to support myself or be a good partner to an equal man. I wouldn’t date someone who can’t be a full financial partner. LTR takes money, joint expenses etc .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should not be dating in your 50s if you do not make at least 200K/yr post-tax money, and exclude child support and/or alimony.

Agree. I’m a 47 yo woman who makes 250k post tax and post all obligations. It’s not much but enough to support myself or be a good partner to an equal man. I wouldn’t date someone who can’t be a full financial partner. LTR takes money, joint expenses etc .

Do you think that something can happen to you in life and you no longer make the tiny $250k post tax you are making now? Or are you guaranteed 100% to always do well? Just wondering

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should not be dating in your 50s if you do not make at least 200K/yr post-tax money, and exclude child support and/or alimony.

Agree. I’m a 47 yo woman who makes 250k post tax and post all obligations. It’s not much but enough to support myself or be a good partner to an equal man. I wouldn’t date someone who can’t be a full financial partner. LTR takes money, joint expenses etc .

Do you think that something can happen to you in life and you no longer make the tiny $250k post tax you are making now? Or are you guaranteed 100% to always do well? Just wondering

“Something” already happened to me. Many times, actually. One war, two family bankruptcies , 4 job losses, and divorce. I climbed back up every time. And by 50 most people even divorced one would have a safety net in the form of savings, pensions, home equity. I have that safety net so my lifestyle won’t be seriously affected by external factors, unless it’s a very serious health issue in the family or death.
OP should have built his safety nets and kids college accounts by his 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should not be dating in your 50s if you do not make at least 200K/yr post-tax money, and exclude child support and/or alimony.

Agree. I’m a 47 yo woman who makes 250k post tax and post all obligations. It’s not much but enough to support myself or be a good partner to an equal man. I wouldn’t date someone who can’t be a full financial partner. LTR takes money, joint expenses etc .

So teachers should not be dating. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should not be dating in your 50s if you do not make at least 200K/yr post-tax money, and exclude child support and/or alimony.

Agree. I’m a 47 yo woman who makes 250k post tax and post all obligations. It’s not much but enough to support myself or be a good partner to an equal man. I wouldn’t date someone who can’t be a full financial partner. LTR takes money, joint expenses etc .

So teachers should not be dating. Got it.

Good teachers make decent money. I dated a college professor.

[Anonymous]

The responses here are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses here so far are scary. Now I understand why people who once had money suddenly decide to end their lives when they go trough hardship. It's crazy how much some of you see everything through money.

I'm glad my husband took a chance on me a simple staff making $70k at a nonprofit.

Did you also have 2 kids you were paying child support for?