Parent letting child use our pool toys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind sharing the toys we bring to the pool, but it gets old when they walk off. Which happens a lot. So we don't bring them anymore. Because your kid stole them.

I guess entitled jerks have to train their kids somehow.

Where are they walking off from? Any time we lost something (rarely), it was because we didn't put it away and left that area. There's a lesson there too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:70% of DCUM have no social skills. Share if you want. If you don’t, say, “I’m sorry. We’re practicing. If you’d like dive toys, there are some over there.”

+1 op doesn’t have the social skills needed to be at a community pool.

She did say that! She didn't repeat it because she thought Grandpa had heard it the first time. Seems to me OP was acting appropriately gracious in the moment.

If you don't like her resenting it and complaining about it now, that's a separate matter.

Sometimes kids ask for things more than once. It's just the reality of kids as they learn to share, and accept no, etc . . . To say no, and then yes, and then complain that no one says no is weird.

But it also doesn't sound like OP said no the first time. She said "these are our toys", which in many families would be a clue for "ooops, you didn't ask". I've had plenty of interactions where my kid tries to take something, maybe a french fry off my plate, and I say "whoa, those are my fries" and the kids says "Sorry mom, can I have some fries?" and I say "sure!". In this case, the kid went to Grandpa, and Grandpa referred her back to OP, because they were OP's toys. He basically showed respect for OP's ownership of the toys by sending the kid back to OP.

[Anonymous]

I have been the other parent and I never ask. I am glad when parent offers. I have been on vacation when my kid has no toys and another kid shares theirs and my kid is happy to play.

I’ve also been the one to have dive rings and submarines and totally fine if another kid plays with my kids.

I have also been in a situation where I thought another kid had our toy and asked for it back to realize they had the exact same toy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have also been in a situation where I thought another kid had our toy and asked for it back to realize they had the exact same toy.

That is why it is so important to label the toys with your last name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have also been in a situation where I thought another kid had our toy and asked for it back to realize they had the exact same toy.

That is why it is so important to label the toys with your last name.

Or people can just relax

[Anonymous]

She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

+1 Agreed, lots to unpack here. It seems pretty obvious that she wanted to join in with you guys because her grandpa couldn’t play WITH her.

Also, the age of the kids matters here a lot. I’m giving a 4 year old way more leeway than a 9 year old. If you’re doing dive practice, I’m assuming the kids are 4-6, at most.

We bring our own toys to our neighborhood pool. There is always plenty to share and when my own DD (4) wants to play with a specific toy, I always encourage her to speak up for herself. Only once did I have to physically intervene and take a toy back from another kid and explain that it was my daughter’s and she wanted it. Did I feel like a jerk? Sure, but that’s why I’m the grownup in my big girl pants. Teach your kid to share but also not to be a pushover.

This is on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids always shared their toys at pools and playgrounds and other kids shared with them usually. And everyone has fun. I wouldn’t bring toys to a playground or pool unless I was willing to share them. Teach your kids to be kind and generous.

Same. And my kids love it- they love to make new friends. We are at a literal breakdown of civil society with the constant phone use and the political climate and people can't be bothered to share one of their many dive toys at a community pool. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

I am a misanthrope through and through. And even I pick up “strays” at the pool every time we go. Kids want to play with moms, they don’t care who.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind sharing the toys we bring to the pool, but it gets old when they walk off. Which happens a lot. So we don't bring them anymore. Because your kid stole them.

I guess entitled jerks have to train their kids somehow.

Where are they walking off from? Any time we lost something (rarely), it was because we didn't put it away and left that area. There's a lesson there too.

Kid: Can I play with this toy?
Me: Of course! Just bring it back when you're done with it.

30 minutes later they blow the whistle for adult swim, that kid and the toy are nowhere to be found.

We don't just leave toys we want to keep lying around unattended, but a weird percent of people seem to think that surely the nice people who brought all the dive toys won't miss it if I just take this one.

[Anonymous]

You'd hate NYC playgrounds, then. It's understood that toys get shared, so you leave anything DCs are unwilling to share at home. Most kids and adults are cool with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind sharing the toys we bring to the pool, but it gets old when they walk off. Which happens a lot. So we don't bring them anymore. Because your kid stole them.

I guess entitled jerks have to train their kids somehow.

Where are they walking off from? Any time we lost something (rarely), it was because we didn't put it away and left that area. There's a lesson there too.

Kid: Can I play with this toy?
Me: Of course! Just bring it back when you're done with it.

30 minutes later they blow the whistle for adult swim, that kid and the toy are nowhere to be found.

We don't just leave toys we want to keep lying around unattended, but a weird percent of people seem to think that surely the nice people who brought all the dive toys won't miss it if I just take this one.

Ok that would annoy me too (depending on the age of the kid).

[Anonymous]

I go to a great local member pool. The kids are 99.9% amazing.

It’s just not feasible to bring personal toys to a busy pool setting especially if there are also communal toys. It’s just not. Unless it’s in your hands at all times. Just don’t do it if it’s going to stress you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind sharing the toys we bring to the pool, but it gets old when they walk off. Which happens a lot. So we don't bring them anymore. Because your kid stole them.

I guess entitled jerks have to train their kids somehow.

Where are they walking off from? Any time we lost something (rarely), it was because we didn't put it away and left that area. There's a lesson there too.

Kid: Can I play with this toy?
Me: Of course! Just bring it back when you're done with it.

30 minutes later they blow the whistle for adult swim, that kid and the toy are nowhere to be found.

We don't just leave toys we want to keep lying around unattended, but a weird percent of people seem to think that surely the nice people who brought all the dive toys won't miss it if I just take this one.

Ok that would annoy me too (depending on the age of the kid).

If the kid is young I'm MORE annoyed because it means their parents likely witnessed this entire interaction and made no effort to return the toy. If it's a 9 yr old playing in their own I'd be more forgiving because kids can be forgetful or misunderstand situations. But a parent who just lets their kid walk off with toys they promised to return is a jerk.