Parent letting child use our pool toys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boomer grandpas are going to behave like boomer grandpas. He probably had no idea why he had to intervene in the discussion at all.

He probably didn’t know that a cheap toy was so important to Op since Op had more of these cheap toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

The OP wasn’t playing with her child. She was on the lounge chair telling her kid to practice diving with the toys. Those things cost $1 each.

If I bring my child to a community pool I’m hoping he finds someone to play with

[Anonymous]

I find that grandparents are a lot more annoying with this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

The OP wasn’t playing with her child. She was on the lounge chair telling her kid to practice diving with the toys. Those things cost $1 each.

If I bring my child to a community pool I’m hoping he finds someone to play with

Yes, she was playing with her child. Keep up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

The OP wasn’t playing with her child. She was on the lounge chair telling her kid to practice diving with the toys. Those things cost $1 each.

If I bring my child to a community pool I’m hoping he finds someone to play with

+1000 It used to be so much fun to see my kids develop friendship at the pool, which started literally on day one each summer. They are so open to each other. OP, if you don't like people much or interacting with people then unfortunately you are going to pass that attitude on to your own DC and they will be poorer for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look. Share the damn toys. Who cares. It teaches your kid to be a nice person. I know it’s kind of annoying, but you sound kind of selfish and rigid.

+1 you sound like the annoying one op, sorry. If I bring toys to a public community space I expect to share them and I expect my kids to learn and understand that they likely will need to as well. Of course her always diving first for them isn’t great, I would have given one to the grandfather so he could play with her (and it wouldn’t have bothered me at all to do so “oh of course you guys take this one just give it to us before you go!) and then played with the other ones with my kid. Or if she was playing with us and doing that I would gently say ok this one larlo is getting it - you’re great at diving for them we’re going to give him a chance on this one. You can give cues like that, she’s a KID. She wasn’t trying to be rude. And grandparents aren’t as good at intervening as parents to be like hey give the other kid a chance to dive larla. Cut some people some slack and be a better community member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

The OP wasn’t playing with her child. She was on the lounge chair telling her kid to practice diving with the toys. Those things cost $1 each.

If I bring my child to a community pool I’m hoping he finds someone to play with

It sounds like she was in the pool with her child from her description.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women in their 60s see what’s going on just fine. They just don’t care about this kind of petty shyte anymore. You and OP will get there one day if you’re lucky.

I am 45 and don’t care either. 😀

I have never cared. People get wound up about the craziest stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree the other child should not have ignored OP’s no but I also think she’s a little ridiculous. I love at the pool everyone is a new friend. We always bring toys and my husband and I are both “play in the pool” parents so yeah other kids want to join in! I have had very similar situations and handled it by asking the other child to make sure both kids could get some diving toys and/or saying hey this one’s for Larla and this one’s for you depending on how old they were. The person who said she wanted your attention was very likely right. 95 percent of the time it’s the kids with completely checked out parents who are all over games with an adult. Why not take the chance to demonstrate the right way to play?

Also at our pool the unspoken rule is if you aren’t playing with a toy it’s up for grabs. You just ask for it back before you leave.

Where does an unspoken rule like this come from? Seriously question. Why isn't the unspoken rule "if it's not yours, don't mess with it?"

DP. If my young kids are at the kiddie pool
and your kids have scattered dozens of toys all around, I am not policing my kid. And I don't expect you to police your kid if mine has left their toys around a community pool. Leave all that stuff at home if you can't share some of it.

I remember teaching my 3 year old that when he was upset that some other toddler took the truck he had left when he went to go on the swings. When you’re in a community area (a park) and you’re not using a toy, your toys are fair game. You can’t share, you leave it at home. How does OP expect people to distinguish her kid’s stuff from the community pool stuff?

Should be quite easy for the child to distinguish once OP said it belonged to them....

OP: exactly, there are community toys! Plenty of toys to play with. The entire reason we bring our own is so that my children aren’t using a. the community toys, which someone else obviously may be using, and b. so that we have reliable access to diving practice (I.e. by bringing our own which we can be responsible for). I repeat that I do not care about the dumb toys and I would have literally purchased an additional toy for the other child if I knew she was going to be demanding my kid’s. But it is the principle that my very well-behaved children witness increasingly obnoxious behavior of children who are evidently never told NO, to the point that they demand their guardians override another adult’s refusal to hand over their own things.

Omg I just saw your follow up and this confirmed that you are in fact, the worst. Ironic that you think it’s everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

The OP wasn’t playing with her child. She was on the lounge chair telling her kid to practice diving with the toys. Those things cost $1 each.

If I bring my child to a community pool I’m hoping he finds someone to play with

Yes, she was playing with her child. Keep up.

She was throwing diving toys into the pool so her child could practice diving. Sounds like she was annoyed because this wasn’t play, this was her having her child practice diving. She didn’t say if she was on the side or in the pool. And it wasn’t play. If it was just play a normal mother would be happy to include another child, she could throw both of them a toy. I have a feeling that the girl getting to the dive toy first was annoying her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

The OP wasn’t playing with her child. She was on the lounge chair telling her kid to practice diving with the toys. Those things cost $1 each.

If I bring my child to a community pool I’m hoping he finds someone to play with

Yes, she was playing with her child. Keep up.

She was throwing diving toys into the pool so her child could practice diving. Sounds like she was annoyed because this wasn’t play, this was her having her child practice diving. She didn’t say if she was on the side or in the pool. And it wasn’t play. If it was just play a normal mother would be happy to include another child, she could throw both of them a toy. I have a feeling that the girl getting to the dive toy first was annoying her.

You make it sounds like she was holding Olympic tryouts. This happens ALL the time. Dive toys, water balloons, balls, etc. If you take out a toy at a community pool, expect other kids to come around. If this bothers you, that is a YOU problem. Build a private pool.

[Anonymous]

OP: for people who didn’t read the whole thing, I did the polite thing and told the girl, oh these are our personal toys, but look there are community toys you can grab right there (which serve the same diving function as ours).

The crux of the issue is that this child understood (!) I wasn’t giving her our personal items, so she went to Grandpa to ask him to obligate me. He did the shrugging, oh-wouldn’t-it-be-alright-this-once ask of if me, and I was obviously going to hand a toy to her because it was so rude I couldn’t otherwise!

My kids understand if an adult says “no, we are not sharing” it literally matters not if they are protecting their inmunocompromised baby or are a total selfish jerk, they would never come to me and insist I “change the other person’s mind”. But obviously this child is accustomed to adults not saying no to her or at the very least, getting her adults to obligate others in her favor, which is what I have grown to resent in modes of parenting popular today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: for people who didn’t read the whole thing, I did the polite thing and told the girl, oh these are our personal toys, but look there are community toys you can grab right there (which serve the same diving function as ours).

The crux of the issue is that this child understood (!) I wasn’t giving her our personal items, so she went to Grandpa to ask him to obligate me. He did the shrugging, oh-wouldn’t-it-be-alright-this-once ask of if me, and I was obviously going to hand a toy to her because it was so rude I couldn’t otherwise!

My kids understand if an adult says “no, we are not sharing” it literally matters not if they are protecting their inmunocompromised baby or are a total selfish jerk, they would never come to me and insist I “change the other person’s mind”. But obviously this child is accustomed to adults not saying no to her or at the very least, getting her adults to obligate others in her favor, which is what I have grown to resent in modes of parenting popular today.

OP, get a life. You are wound up about a $1 diving toy and the prospects of sharing. No one cares. Go take a walk or take a Xanax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: for people who didn’t read the whole thing, I did the polite thing and told the girl, oh these are our personal toys, but look there are community toys you can grab right there (which serve the same diving function as ours).

The crux of the issue is that this child understood (!) I wasn’t giving her our personal items, so she went to Grandpa to ask him to obligate me. He did the shrugging, oh-wouldn’t-it-be-alright-this-once ask of if me, and I was obviously going to hand a toy to her because it was so rude I couldn’t otherwise!

My kids understand if an adult says “no, we are not sharing” it literally matters not if they are protecting their inmunocompromised baby or are a total selfish jerk, they would never come to me and insist I “change the other person’s mind”. But obviously this child is accustomed to adults not saying no to her or at the very least, getting her adults to obligate others in her favor, which is what I have grown to resent in modes of parenting popular today.

This made me go back and re-read, and I'm sorry to tell you that on a closer inspection you come off worse. You actually threw the toys multiple times and the girl retrieved them for you. So you were actively playing with her (obviously seething with rage the whole time, because you are an antisocial maniac, but from this kid's perspective: multiple rounds of throw, dive, return, throw is a game. The game the toys are designed for, no less). Then when your kid wasn't "winning" you told her to go play with some other toy, and she asked if she could use *one* of your toys while you played with your kid with the rest. And her guardian looked to you for an answer to that request, and you said "sure" and since then you have stewed in your ire for days.

You seriously need to stop going to public places. You've called this little girl everything but a child of God for 1) starting to play with you and your kid in a public setting, 2) being a better "diver" than your kid, and 3) asking if she could use one of the many toys you brought while she played by herself when you made it clear you didn't want to play with her.

As poorly as your kid was doing getting to the sinkies, I think being mad that you had 4 to throw for them instead of 5 is nuts, but: nuts seems to be your brand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

The OP wasn’t playing with her child. She was on the lounge chair telling her kid to practice diving with the toys. Those things cost $1 each.

If I bring my child to a community pool I’m hoping he finds someone to play with

Yes, she was playing with her child. Keep up.

She was throwing diving toys into the pool so her child could practice diving. Sounds like she was annoyed because this wasn’t play, this was her having her child practice diving. She didn’t say if she was on the side or in the pool. And it wasn’t play. If it was just play a normal mother would be happy to include another child, she could throw both of them a toy. I have a feeling that the girl getting to the dive toy first was annoying her.

Unless OP is planning on raising someone who dives for scallops or pearls, this kind of diving is a game. It's play. She was playing with her child.