Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like for some couples, if the marriage is pretty bad but both people are willing to try an open marriage and that open marriage works until the kids are launched, then it's a success story (see the other relationship post about a woman wondering whether she should remarry because she has a 6-year-old daugther, and response sharing links about the significant increased risk of child abuse including sexual abuse when there is the presence of an unrelated man in the home).

The open marriage I know that is working for both married people it was because their are both so happy with each other and their marriage they feel its strong enough for them to have fun with others.

They married young; the day after college and now in their 30s they each have a separate date night and see their other person. Also the wife is the one who asked and she is in 3 separate relationships.

And they have 3 young kids.

Is she using condoms with all 3 other men? Men usually don't like condoms for an extended time, and they want unprotected BJs. It's not like they only f...k her, so it could be that she indirectly is exposed to sexual fluids of dozens of other people which is kind of gross....

Agree. Sleeping with one husband plus three side pieces who are also sleeping around - how does that not result in STDs for everyone involved?

Because the vast majority of people don’t have an STI.

Because most people are monogamous or celibate.

Most doesn’t equate no stds. 15% have STDs and that’s high enough for many not to engage in risky sexual practices

The way people talk around here, you’d think that it’s a 90% likelihood to get an STI the first time you bang. It’s atualky quite unlikely if you use a condom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No clue but wanted to mention that all the people involved into these arrangements are SO ugly. The bathe twice per week, overweight, crunchy alternative type.

If you have no clue, how are you so certain about the rest of your statement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like for some couples, if the marriage is pretty bad but both people are willing to try an open marriage and that open marriage works until the kids are launched, then it's a success story (see the other relationship post about a woman wondering whether she should remarry because she has a 6-year-old daugther, and response sharing links about the significant increased risk of child abuse including sexual abuse when there is the presence of an unrelated man in the home).

The open marriage I know that is working for both married people it was because their are both so happy with each other and their marriage they feel its strong enough for them to have fun with others.

They married young; the day after college and now in their 30s they each have a separate date night and see their other person. Also the wife is the one who asked and she is in 3 separate relationships.

And they have 3 young kids.

Is she using condoms with all 3 other men? Men usually don't like condoms for an extended time, and they want unprotected BJs. It's not like they only f...k her, so it could be that she indirectly is exposed to sexual fluids of dozens of other people which is kind of gross....

Agree. Sleeping with one husband plus three side pieces who are also sleeping around - how does that not result in STDs for everyone involved?

Because the vast majority of people don’t have an STI.

Because most people are monogamous or celibate.

Most doesn’t equate no stds. 15% have STDs and that’s high enough for many not to engage in risky sexual practices

The way people talk around here, you’d think that it’s a 90% likelihood to get an STI the first time you bang. It’s atualky quite unlikely if you use a condom.

I was in a poly relationship. I know the community so no, most poly people don't use condoms. F..ing someone's wife with condoms for months is not that interesting of a proposition for a man who can just download a dating app and find a lot of sex there.
So based on my experience , there is high risk involved and you can find a lot of questions (from women in particular) how to stay safe. It was one of the reasons I left the arrangement.

On pretty/not pretty - it varies. If the man is wealthy and maintains several women they would be pretty. Usually the man provides financial support so they stay in it. A married woman f..ng several men outside her marriage wouldn't be pretty, and her partners would be ugly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No clue but wanted to mention that all the people involved into these arrangements are SO ugly. The bathe twice per week, overweight, crunchy alternative type.

If you have no clue, how are you so certain about the rest of your statement?

Because I have eyes. I'm not commenting on the happiness of the relationship or lack of.
Look at these. The women dress at Ross, need ozempic and someone who can do proper highlights. The men have crazy eyes, the one in front is a ginger with a gut and a weird two tone color mustache?!

https://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/2025/03/two-oregon-polyamorous-couples-who-live-together-with-their-kids-star-in-new-tlc-show-polyfamily.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No clue but wanted to mention that all the people involved into these arrangements are SO ugly. The bathe twice per week, overweight, crunchy alternative type.

If you have no clue, how are you so certain about the rest of your statement?

Because I have eyes. I'm not commenting on the happiness of the relationship or lack of.
Look at these. The women dress at Ross, need ozempic and someone who can do proper highlights. The men have crazy eyes, the one in front is a ginger with a gut and a weird two tone color mustache?!

https://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/2025/03/two-oregon-polyamorous-couples-who-live-together-with-their-kids-star-in-new-tlc-show-polyfamily.html

You only provided one example. Historical examples of poly triads on page 1 show attractive people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like for some couples, if the marriage is pretty bad but both people are willing to try an open marriage and that open marriage works until the kids are launched, then it's a success story (see the other relationship post about a woman wondering whether she should remarry because she has a 6-year-old daugther, and response sharing links about the significant increased risk of child abuse including sexual abuse when there is the presence of an unrelated man in the home).

The open marriage I know that is working for both married people it was because their are both so happy with each other and their marriage they feel its strong enough for them to have fun with others.

They married young; the day after college and now in their 30s they each have a separate date night and see their other person. Also the wife is the one who asked and she is in 3 separate relationships.

And they have 3 young kids.

Is she using condoms with all 3 other men? Men usually don't like condoms for an extended time, and they want unprotected BJs. It's not like they only f...k her, so it could be that she indirectly is exposed to sexual fluids of dozens of other people which is kind of gross....

Agree. Sleeping with one husband plus three side pieces who are also sleeping around - how does that not result in STDs for everyone involved?

Because the vast majority of people don’t have an STI.

Because most people are monogamous or celibate.

Most doesn’t equate no stds. 15% have STDs and that’s high enough for many not to engage in risky sexual practices

The way people talk around here, you’d think that it’s a 90% likelihood to get an STI the first time you bang. It’s atualky quite unlikely if you use a condom.

I was in a poly relationship. I know the community so no, most poly people don't use condoms. F..ing someone's wife with condoms for months is not that interesting of a proposition for a man who can just download a dating app and find a lot of sex there.
So based on my experience , there is high risk involved and you can find a lot of questions (from women in particular) how to stay safe. It was one of the reasons I left the arrangement.

On pretty/not pretty - it varies. If the man is wealthy and maintains several women they would be pretty. Usually the man provides financial support so they stay in it. A married woman f..ng several men outside her marriage wouldn't be pretty, and her partners would be ugly

So on your theory, where are all the pretty married women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No clue but wanted to mention that all the people involved into these arrangements are SO ugly. The bathe twice per week, overweight, crunchy alternative type.

If you have no clue, how are you so certain about the rest of your statement?

Because I have eyes. I'm not commenting on the happiness of the relationship or lack of.
Look at these. The women dress at Ross, need ozempic and someone who can do proper highlights. The men have crazy eyes, the one in front is a ginger with a gut and a weird two tone color mustache?!

https://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/2025/03/two-oregon-polyamorous-couples-who-live-together-with-their-kids-star-in-new-tlc-show-polyfamily.html

I mean, you’re talking about rural Oregon. That probably describes most of the people there. No one in Brownstone Brooklyn is wearing Ross, monogamous or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No clue but wanted to mention that all the people involved into these arrangements are SO ugly. The bathe twice per week, overweight, crunchy alternative type.

If you have no clue, how are you so certain about the rest of your statement?

Because I have eyes. I'm not commenting on the happiness of the relationship or lack of.
Look at these. The women dress at Ross, need ozempic and someone who can do proper highlights. The men have crazy eyes, the one in front is a ginger with a gut and a weird two tone color mustache?!

https://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/2025/03/two-oregon-polyamorous-couples-who-live-together-with-their-kids-star-in-new-tlc-show-polyfamily.html

You only provided one example. Historical examples of poly triads on page 1 show attractive people

Wow, you do indeed have a very low bar.

[Anonymous]

The point of them, paradoxically, is to prioritize the individual.
I’m in a monogamous marriage that I see as a partnership.
With 3+ you see temporary loyalty. Some long, like a mono marriage, but … the individual can add on or back out of whatever they want.

I wouldn’t call it more stable than the average person’s relationships.

Happy? Seeking happiness is not how you find happiness. That’s a whole other discussion unrelated to arrangement of relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like for some couples, if the marriage is pretty bad but both people are willing to try an open marriage and that open marriage works until the kids are launched, then it's a success story (see the other relationship post about a woman wondering whether she should remarry because she has a 6-year-old daugther, and response sharing links about the significant increased risk of child abuse including sexual abuse when there is the presence of an unrelated man in the home).

The open marriage I know that is working for both married people it was because their are both so happy with each other and their marriage they feel its strong enough for them to have fun with others.

They married young; the day after college and now in their 30s they each have a separate date night and see their other person. Also the wife is the one who asked and she is in 3 separate relationships.

And they have 3 young kids.

Is she using condoms with all 3 other men? Men usually don't like condoms for an extended time, and they want unprotected BJs. It's not like they only f...k her, so it could be that she indirectly is exposed to sexual fluids of dozens of other people which is kind of gross....

Agree. Sleeping with one husband plus three side pieces who are also sleeping around - how does that not result in STDs for everyone involved?

Because the vast majority of people don’t have an STI.

Because most people are monogamous or celibate.

Most doesn’t equate no stds. 15% have STDs and that’s high enough for many not to engage in risky sexual practices

The way people talk around here, you’d think that it’s a 90% likelihood to get an STI the first time you bang. It’s atualky quite unlikely if you use a condom.

I was in a poly relationship. I know the community so no, most poly people don't use condoms. F..ing someone's wife with condoms for months is not that interesting of a proposition for a man who can just download a dating app and find a lot of sex there.
So based on my experience , there is high risk involved and you can find a lot of questions (from women in particular) how to stay safe. It was one of the reasons I left the arrangement.

On pretty/not pretty - it varies. If the man is wealthy and maintains several women they would be pretty. Usually the man provides financial support so they stay in it. A married woman f..ng several men outside her marriage wouldn't be pretty, and her partners would be ugly

So on your theory, where are all the pretty married women?

They are able to find attractive lovers to stay with them longer, or the husband is attractive and she's happy just with him. Poly is for self esteem eg she needs to feel that attention and diversity of choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No clue but wanted to mention that all the people involved into these arrangements are SO ugly. The bathe twice per week, overweight, crunchy alternative type.

If you have no clue, how are you so certain about the rest of your statement?

Because I have eyes. I'm not commenting on the happiness of the relationship or lack of.
Look at these. The women dress at Ross, need ozempic and someone who can do proper highlights. The men have crazy eyes, the one in front is a ginger with a gut and a weird two tone color mustache?!

https://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/2025/03/two-oregon-polyamorous-couples-who-live-together-with-their-kids-star-in-new-tlc-show-polyfamily.html

You only provided one example. Historical examples of poly triads on page 1 show attractive people

Wow, you do indeed have a very low bar.

All women are fine on these links. Not fat, not uglier than average women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No clue but wanted to mention that all the people involved into these arrangements are SO ugly. The bathe twice per week, overweight, crunchy alternative type.

If you have no clue, how are you so certain about the rest of your statement?

Because I have eyes. I'm not commenting on the happiness of the relationship or lack of.
Look at these. The women dress at Ross, need ozempic and someone who can do proper highlights. The men have crazy eyes, the one in front is a ginger with a gut and a weird two tone color mustache?!

https://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/2025/03/two-oregon-polyamorous-couples-who-live-together-with-their-kids-star-in-new-tlc-show-polyfamily.html

I mean, you’re talking about rural Oregon. That probably describes most of the people there. No one in Brownstone Brooklyn is wearing Ross, monogamous or not.

Two mistresses of a NYC Wallstreet broker engaging in threesomes for fun would look very different from Oregon farmers wives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I’ve seen works great if one or both have a cuckoldry fetish - it’s a thing, some people like to hear their partner telling them about other people they are sleeping with. I know some women who seem to think that being the “primary” partner makes them special, like a constant reminder that out of all the possibilities, it’s them that were chosen. It also works if there are some serious benefits attached to staying in this relationship, so it’s a calculated decision similar to someone working crazy hours for a good pay.

Otherwise, those relationships eventually fall apart.

Ha. And the OW/APs use the converse thinking since he’s choosing to cheat on their wife with them that they are more special.

People are fkkkd up. Period.

I choose monogamy. If it’s not working you communicate so- you don’t cheat.

And these poly people are all complete whackadoos. I’ve never met a normal one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like for some couples, if the marriage is pretty bad but both people are willing to try an open marriage and that open marriage works until the kids are launched, then it's a success story (see the other relationship post about a woman wondering whether she should remarry because she has a 6-year-old daugther, and response sharing links about the significant increased risk of child abuse including sexual abuse when there is the presence of an unrelated man in the home).

The open marriage I know that is working for both married people it was because their are both so happy with each other and their marriage they feel its strong enough for them to have fun with others.

They married young; the day after college and now in their 30s they each have a separate date night and see their other person. Also the wife is the one who asked and she is in 3 separate relationships.

And they have 3 young kids.

Is she using condoms with all 3 other men? Men usually don't like condoms for an extended time, and they want unprotected BJs. It's not like they only f...k her, so it could be that she indirectly is exposed to sexual fluids of dozens of other people which is kind of gross....

Agree. Sleeping with one husband plus three side pieces who are also sleeping around - how does that not result in STDs for everyone involved?

Because the vast majority of people don’t have an STI.

Because most people are monogamous or celibate.

Most doesn’t equate no stds. 15% have STDs and that’s high enough for many not to engage in risky sexual practices

The way people talk around here, you’d think that it’s a 90% likelihood to get an STI the first time you bang. It’s atualky quite unlikely if you use a condom.

I was in a poly relationship. I know the community so no, most poly people don't use condoms. F..ing someone's wife with condoms for months is not that interesting of a proposition for a man who can just download a dating app and find a lot of sex there.
So based on my experience , there is high risk involved and you can find a lot of questions (from women in particular) how to stay safe. It was one of the reasons I left the arrangement.

On pretty/not pretty - it varies. If the man is wealthy and maintains several women they would be pretty. Usually the man provides financial support so they stay in it. A married woman f..ng several men outside her marriage wouldn't be pretty, and her partners would be ugly

So on your theory, where are all the pretty married women?

Not in poly relationships. Nor are they the ones banging men outside of their marriage.

[Anonymous]

As a Muslim who grew up in a family that practiced polygamy (dad had 2 wives) it's sad that some Americans now think this depraved way of living is kind of cool.