Reply to Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?

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Reply to "Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like for some couples, if the marriage is pretty bad but both people are willing to try an open marriage and that open marriage works until the kids are launched, then it's a success story (see the other relationship post about a woman wondering whether she should remarry because she has a 6-year-old daugther, and response sharing links about the significant increased risk of child abuse including sexual abuse when there is the presence of an unrelated man in the home). [/quote]

The open marriage I know that is working for both married people it was because their are both so happy with each other and their marriage they feel its strong enough for them to have fun with others.

They married young; the day after college and now in their 30s they each have a separate date night and see their other person. Also the wife is the one who asked and she is in 3 separate relationships.

And they have 3 young kids.[/quote]

Is she using condoms with all 3 other men? Men usually don't like condoms for an extended time, and they want unprotected BJs. It's not like they only f...k her, so it could be that she indirectly is exposed to sexual fluids of dozens of other people which is kind of gross....[/quote]

Agree. Sleeping with one husband plus three side pieces who are also sleeping around - how does that not result in STDs for everyone involved? [/quote]

Because the vast majority of people don’t have an STI.[/quote]

Because most people are monogamous or celibate. [/quote]

Most doesn’t equate no stds. 15% have STDs and that’s high enough for many not to engage in risky sexual practices [/quote]

The way people talk around here, you’d think that it’s a 90% likelihood to get an STI the first time you bang. It’s atualky quite unlikely if you use a condom. [/quote]

I was in a poly relationship. I know the community so no, most poly people don't use condoms. F..ing someone's wife with condoms for months is not that interesting of a proposition for a man who can just download a dating app and find a lot of sex there. 
So based on my experience , there is high risk involved and you can find a lot of questions (from women in particular) how to stay safe. It was one of the reasons I left the arrangement.

On pretty/not pretty - it varies. If the man is wealthy and maintains several women they would be pretty. Usually the man provides financial support so they stay in it.  A married woman f..ng several men outside her marriage wouldn't be pretty, and her partners would be ugly[/quote]

So on your theory, where are all the pretty married women? [/quote]

They are able to find attractive lovers to stay with them longer, or the husband is attractive and she's happy just with him. Poly is for self esteem eg she needs to feel that attention and diversity of choices.  [/quote]

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