Do "open marriages"/ENM/poly arrangements every really prove happy and stable over the longer term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they make a lot of sense. Much more sense than the idea of meeting someone in your 20s/30s and staying faithful to them for the rest of your life -- which could be another 50-60 years!!

That's what serial monogamy is for...

[Anonymous]

No truly heterosexual man who is mentally healthy and who truly loves his wife or girlfriend would ever want another man touching her.

So if ENM means the man gets to bang other women, sure why not. But no man wants to kiss his wife if she's been slobbering some other guys nob.

Period. Anyone who claims otherwise is FOS.

[Anonymous]

I think there are a lot of people who really are not that mentally healthy. A lot of masochists, insecure and needy people, and a few sociopathic narcissists.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

I have been in a closed poly quad for the last 9 years, and my husband and I were monogamish for 7 years before that. It works for us *shrug*

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they make a lot of sense. Much more sense than the idea of meeting someone in your 20s/30s and staying faithful to them for the rest of your life -- which could be another 50-60 years!!

That's what serial monogamy is for...

+1

Being monogamous for decades doesn't make sense for a lot of couples but that doesn't mean that ENM does.

Maybe it does for people who *need* the drama. Sure seems that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been in a closed poly quad for the last 9 years, and my husband and I were monogamish for 7 years before that. It works for us *shrug*

Oh sweet summer child

"closed"

You can speak only for yourself, not 3 other people. All you've done is multiplied the odds of being cheated on x3

But you know carry on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No truly heterosexual man who is mentally healthy and who truly loves his wife or girlfriend would ever want another man touching her.

So if ENM means the man gets to bang other women, sure why not. But no man wants to kiss his wife if she's been slobbering some other guys nob.

Period. Anyone who claims otherwise is FOS.

Unlike you look like Tom Brady or Pierce Brosnan, it is a terrible deal for men as the woman will have endless opportunities while the man will not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No truly heterosexual man who is mentally healthy and who truly loves his wife or girlfriend would ever want another man touching her.

So if ENM means the man gets to bang other women, sure why not. But no man wants to kiss his wife if she's been slobbering some other guys nob.

Period. Anyone who claims otherwise is FOS.

Unlike you look like Tom Brady or Pierce Brosnan, it is a terrible deal for men as the woman will have endless opportunities while the man will not.

Even Tom Brady got cucked. And Pierce's spouse really let herself go.

But agreeing to being cucked up front is just whack

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No truly heterosexual man who is mentally healthy and who truly loves his wife or girlfriend would ever want another man touching her.

So if ENM means the man gets to bang other women, sure why not. But no man wants to kiss his wife if she's been slobbering some other guys nob.

Period. Anyone who claims otherwise is FOS.

I mean maybe they were mentally unhealthy, I don’t know. But I’ve definitely dated guys who were into essentially the “hot wife” thing. I guess it’s not “wife” if you’re dating but same concept.

I think all this stuff is fine as long as there aren’t kids involved. I wouldn’t personally but it’s not my life. Some people really, REALLY value a very active sex life with different partners. When you have kids in the equation though, the antics have to mostly stop until the kids are out of the house/in college IMO.

[Anonymous]

I know one MFM who have been together for at least 15-20 years now. Raised a couple kids. Were a safe haven for a lot of their kids teen friends who came from challenging families. From the outside it seems totally normal and boring. Just a multiple adult household and they are all still together. I think the wife has had other female partners throughout the years as well. She definitely has amazing magnetism etc so I understand people wanting to be with her. The guys are just average nerdy types.

[Anonymous]

Women are not built for monogamy.

Neither are men. But we tolerate it more. We'll gladly take a wet hole for years even if we're bored. Women, as much as they enjoy a stiff prick, if they're bored of the guy it's attached to, they'll put in a lot of effort to avoid it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know one MFM who have been together for at least 15-20 years now. Raised a couple kids. Were a safe haven for a lot of their kids teen friends who came from challenging families. From the outside it seems totally normal and boring. Just a multiple adult household and they are all still together. I think the wife has had other female partners throughout the years as well. She definitely has amazing magnetism etc so I understand people wanting to be with her. The guys are just average nerdy types.

Yes if it’s a “family-like” triad in either combination MFM or FMF it can last. But it works not because of sex but because people are entangled socially, economically, have feelings - just like a normal household.
In fact, it can be more economically sustainable: there were examples when the man died, two women would live together till they died in a gay relationship essentially

[Anonymous]

These "relationships" are always and without fail comprised of hideous social rejects.