Daughter gets hit on at work - solutions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to know more. First, how old is the kid? Second, how exactly is she being "hit on" besides being asked for her number? Third, how old are the guys who are doing the hitting on/number asking? Finally, how often is this happening?

Depending on these answers, the range of responses could be anywhere from "this is disgusting, she needs to quit NOW" to "she's not cut out to be a server and needs to quit now."

Women shouldn't need to quit, they should be able to feel safe doing their job.

Depends on the answers to my questions. If we're talking about a 16 year old who can't handle another 16 year old asking for her number while she's a server not feeling "safe," then she's the problem. She needs to find another job where she can feel "safe."

I have an irrational fear of heights. That doesn't mean that the operators of a toll bridge with the collection booth on top are obligated to make me feel "safe" up there. It just means I have to work somewhere else.

This.

[Anonymous]

how old is your DD OP?

[Anonymous]

NP and harassment or not, she can report it to her manager but I don’t see how a manager can stop customers from asking a server for her number. There are different customers every day. Teach your daughter to empower herself with a simple phrase of “no thanks” or “not interested” and “are you ready to order or do you need more time?” or quit the job.

Personally, I would not tell her to say a phrase with her age of being a minor. If these people are actual creeps, they might like her even more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:JFC people, I was just asking for a few things that worked for you/ your daughter, and I find myself a multipage cesspool of misogyny and vitriol. (Many of) You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

My daughter is 17. The men who have asked for her number have been customers, not colleagues, and according to her "I dunno, mid 20s?"

This is her first public facing job with adults (though she has previously done lots of kid-related work.) She's a little shy, but she's excited about getting work experience and earning money for college. I'm asking for some thoughts on ways for someone who is new to being a server to navigate a common pitfall.

Why do you have to make it so vile? Seriously. Reflect and seek help.

A seventeen year old child should NOT be a waitress. You’re a bad mom for letting her take that job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to know more. First, how old is the kid? Second, how exactly is she being "hit on" besides being asked for her number? Third, how old are the guys who are doing the hitting on/number asking? Finally, how often is this happening?

Depending on these answers, the range of responses could be anywhere from "this is disgusting, she needs to quit NOW" to "she's not cut out to be a server and needs to quit now."

Women shouldn't need to quit, they should be able to feel safe doing their job.

Depends on the answers to my questions. If we're talking about a 16 year old who can't handle another 16 year old asking for her number while she's a server not feeling "safe," then she's the problem. She needs to find another job where she can feel "safe."

I have an irrational fear of heights. That doesn't mean that the operators of a toll bridge with the collection booth on top are obligated to make me feel "safe" up there. It just means I have to work somewhere else.

Wrong. All women, and really, all people, should be safe from harassment at their job. This is not appropriate behavior. It doesnt matter her age or the age of people harassing her. It's inappropriate and should not be happening. Your bizarre claim that it's ok in some certain circumstances is flat out wrong.

So someone asking you for a date or your number is now consider harassment? That's insane.
Being insistent, or touching, sure.

Yes it is. If they are working, leave them alone. Thats it. Thats all. Stop being a creepy pervert who harasses women at their jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to know more. First, how old is the kid? Second, how exactly is she being "hit on" besides being asked for her number? Third, how old are the guys who are doing the hitting on/number asking? Finally, how often is this happening?

Depending on these answers, the range of responses could be anywhere from "this is disgusting, she needs to quit NOW" to "she's not cut out to be a server and needs to quit now."

Women shouldn't need to quit, they should be able to feel safe doing their job.

Depends on the answers to my questions. If we're talking about a 16 year old who can't handle another 16 year old asking for her number while she's a server not feeling "safe," then she's the problem. She needs to find another job where she can feel "safe."

I have an irrational fear of heights. That doesn't mean that the operators of a toll bridge with the collection booth on top are obligated to make me feel "safe" up there. It just means I have to work somewhere else.

You're still the AH. OP wouldn't have posted if this was a minor asking out another minor. Obviously this is about inappropriate propositioning by adults to an underage minor.

[Anonymous]

There are waaay too many men telling on themselves in this thread. Y'all need to take a chill pill and back the f off girls who are working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:JFC people, I was just asking for a few things that worked for you/ your daughter, and I find myself a multipage cesspool of misogyny and vitriol. (Many of) You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

My daughter is 17. The men who have asked for her number have been customers, not colleagues, and according to her "I dunno, mid 20s?"

This is her first public facing job with adults (though she has previously done lots of kid-related work.) She's a little shy, but she's excited about getting work experience and earning money for college. I'm asking for some thoughts on ways for someone who is new to being a server to navigate a common pitfall.

Why do you have to make it so vile? Seriously. Reflect and seek help.

A seventeen year old child should NOT be a waitress. You’re a bad mom for letting her take that job.

F*uck off. I was a waitress at 16; applied the day after I got my DL. It's the best money you can legally earn, and it's thanks to restaurant work that I developed a lot of the skills I rely on today as a finance executive. The kids I get stuck with today would be MUCH better staff if they knew how to handle a shifting workload, knew how to talk to people, and could learn new things faster.

[Anonymous]

This is on you OP, she’s seventeen she shouldn’t be waiting tables. That’s not an appropriate job for a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to know more. First, how old is the kid? Second, how exactly is she being "hit on" besides being asked for her number? Third, how old are the guys who are doing the hitting on/number asking? Finally, how often is this happening?

Depending on these answers, the range of responses could be anywhere from "this is disgusting, she needs to quit NOW" to "she's not cut out to be a server and needs to quit now."

Women shouldn't need to quit, they should be able to feel safe doing their job.

Depends on the answers to my questions. If we're talking about a 16 year old who can't handle another 16 year old asking for her number while she's a server not feeling "safe," then she's the problem. She needs to find another job where she can feel "safe."

I have an irrational fear of heights. That doesn't mean that the operators of a toll bridge with the collection booth on top are obligated to make me feel "safe" up there. It just means I have to work somewhere else.

Wrong. All women, and really, all people, should be safe from harassment at their job. This is not appropriate behavior. It doesnt matter her age or the age of people harassing her. It's inappropriate and should not be happening. Your bizarre claim that it's ok in some certain circumstances is flat out wrong.

Where did these claims of "harassment" come from? The OP said people asked for her number. That's not harassment.

Signed. A clueless who thinks that asking a young woman who is interacting with you as part of her job for her personal phone number is appropriate behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is on you OP, she’s seventeen she shouldn’t be waiting tables. That’s not an appropriate job for a child.

You are so out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:JFC people, I was just asking for a few things that worked for you/ your daughter, and I find myself a multipage cesspool of misogyny and vitriol. (Many of) You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

My daughter is 17. The men who have asked for her number have been customers, not colleagues, and according to her "I dunno, mid 20s?"

This is her first public facing job with adults (though she has previously done lots of kid-related work.) She's a little shy, but she's excited about getting work experience and earning money for college. I'm asking for some thoughts on ways for someone who is new to being a server to navigate a common pitfall.

Why do you have to make it so vile? Seriously. Reflect and seek help.

A seventeen year old child should NOT be a waitress. You’re a bad mom for letting her take that job.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is on you OP, she’s seventeen she shouldn’t be waiting tables. That’s not an appropriate job for a child.

By all means, enlighten us as to appropriate jobs for older teens.
Lifeguard? Hanging around random adults, in the most revealing clothes a person can legally wear in public, while being responsible for people's actual lives as they engage in the #1 most dangerous recreational activity?
Babysitter? Being in a private home, responsible for the well being of children, while at the mercy of any dad/ uncle/ stepbrother with a key?
Mowing lawns? Again with the private home, plenty of hidey places like garages, and working with gasoline and power tools?

Please, what are these appropriate jobs for "children" of which you speak, if being fully dressed, in public, handling nothing more dangerous than a hot cup of coffee isn't one?

[Anonymous]

She’s too young and immature to handle the requirements of this job. I’d make her quit and find something else. Try Subway or something similar where she can learn to interact with the public first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s too young and immature to handle the requirements of this job. I’d make her quit and find something else. Try Subway or something similar where she can learn to interact with the public first.

Being harassed is not a requirement of waiting tables.