Daughter gets hit on at work - solutions?

[Anonymous]

A simple request/flirt - “no thank you.”

Repeated harassment / lewd comment- Manager comes over.

I bet 90% of the time the first response works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

No. Mom should encourage her to speak to her manager. Mom can't deal with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to wear a fake wedding or engagement ring. "Sorry, already taken!"

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is waiting tables this summer, and gets hit on/ asked for her number. It makes her really uncomfortable. And she says it wrecks her focus and she doesn't feel like she does as good a job after one of these incidents. Of course I've told her it gets better with practice (ugh) and that this is just part of being in the world, but I still hate it for her.

I was a waitress at her age too, and remember lots of inappropriate men but I was pretty bold at that age and it didn't ruin my day the way it does hers. She and I have very different personalities. I once dumped a pitcher of ice water on a guy who patted my butt. She would shrivel up and die if someone did that to her.

I'd love some ideas on how she can respond to them, and for reframing these interactions for her.

It wrecks her focus after someone asks for her number? Good grief.

I can understand inappropriate comments being an issue, but she needs to figure this out. Absurd. I waited on tables, and tended bar for years. Being asked for your number is nbd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

No. Mom should encourage her to speak to her manager. Mom can't deal with this.

Her manager does not need to deal with someone so weak that they get the vapors from being asked for their number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

When the young lady is at work, working for the tips that the guy will provide? You don't see the power imbalance inherent in this?? There's something wrong with a man conditioning a woman's living on her willingness to play romance with him.

[Anonymous]

My cousin wore a Walmart engagement ring.


A friend would laugh and say my girlfriend wouldn't appreciate me flirting back."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Wow! Do you vilify all men this way? Who hurt you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

Have you seriously never met a woman who was sexually harassed by customers in the restaurant industry and the manager normalized the interactions?

[Anonymous]

Can't shield them forever. Time for some tough love. The manager isn't going to fix it for her but certainly if it gets out of hand she should tell a manager.

There are realities about what it means to be a woman in this world which is why I always find the delulu posts about you all need to tell your sons to stop looking at my daughter's boobs/butt in the dress that barely covers either mildly hilarious. Genuinely, wear whatever you want and also the world isn't changing or changed. And yes I have a son and daughter. We can raise all the amazing boys we want and the real world is going to have plenty of pig ass men. My mother did not tell me jacksh** about what to expect or how to handle. So it felt shameful and I feel like our generation (gen X) we just endured this stuff and no one even talked about it. At least maybe that is better now? It is great she is telling you about it.

I think all you can do is frank and open convos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

Harassing someone AT THEIR JOB is absolutely a perv move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

It kind of does in this setting and context but now we know who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to wear a fake wedding or engagement ring. "Sorry, already taken!"

? My DD (not OP) is 17, and looks like a teen. That would be weird for her to have a wedding ring.

She gets hit on at work. She just says, "sorry, I have a BF already.. what can I get you".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

No. Mom should encourage her to speak to her manager. Mom can't deal with this.

Her manager does not need to deal with someone so weak that they get the vapors from being asked for their number.

Gets the vapors? She's uncomfortable not hysterical. You're now blowing it out of proportion.

The manager should be supporting the wait staff.