Daughter gets hit on at work - solutions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to wear a fake wedding or engagement ring. "Sorry, already taken!"

? My DD (not OP) is 17, and looks like a teen. That would be weird for her to have a wedding ring.

She gets hit on at work. She just says, "sorry, I have a BF already.. what can I get you".

She doesn't need to apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to wear a fake wedding or engagement ring. "Sorry, already taken!"

This. Still won’t stop some but worth trying. She should travel with a band too.

[Anonymous]

I was also sensitive and felt yucky about unwanted male attention. If these guys are just asking for her number and not creepy I think with time she can learn to say flattered but taken/not looking. For inappropriate remarks she should report to the manager and see if they will reassign another waitress to the table

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

Harassing someone AT THEIR JOB is absolutely a perv move.

Asking for your phone number IS NOT HARASSMENT!

[Anonymous]

She needs to learn to deal with it, that’s what you tell her. She says no thank you and moves on. You creating this huge fiasco over it won’t make it better for her. If she’s not mature enough to handle it then she can quit and be broke. Very simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

Harassing someone AT THEIR JOB is absolutely a perv move.

Asking for your phone number IS NOT HARASSMENT!

Is this the same person trying to normalize this behavior over and over again? Please tell me it is.

Solid chance the people asking this TEENAGER for her phone number are not other teenagers. You get that right? And even if they are other teenagers and it's totally age appropriate with a peer asking a peer for a phone number, asking for people for their phone numbers in an attempt to express romantic interest in them while they are in the middle of doing their job is not appropriate. Sad and troubling you do not know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

Harassing someone AT THEIR JOB is absolutely a perv move.

Asking for your phone number IS NOT HARASSMENT!

There’s no way to make asking your server for her phone number okay, sorry. There are scenarios that are just not okay for asking people out. If someone is interacting with you because it’s their job to do so, don’t hit on them.

[Anonymous]

NBD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

Harassing someone AT THEIR JOB is absolutely a perv move.

Asking for your phone number IS NOT HARASSMENT!

Yes it is. OPs daughter does not deserve gross creepy pervy men harassing her while she's working.

You seem really triggered, likely because you do this kind of harassment often. You should stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to tell her boss it's happening and ask them how to handle it. It's not up to her mother.

So mom should say "not my problem, handle it yourself"

Do I have that right?

Yes.

This is the kind of attitude the perverts are counting on.

Asking a young lady for their phone number does not make you a pervert. What is wrong with you?

Harassing someone AT THEIR JOB is absolutely a perv move.

Asking for your phone number IS NOT HARASSMENT!

There’s no way to make asking your server for her phone number okay, sorry. There are scenarios that are just not okay for asking people out. If someone is interacting with you because it’s their job to do so, don’t hit on them.

Well said. Definitely some creepy men on this site.

[Anonymous]

1. If anyone asks for her phone number or instagram, she can say "Sorry, it's restaurant policy we're not allowed to do that." If they press her she should say "I really need this job, so I can't." And then she should tell her manager that a customer is pressuring her for her contact info and to ask them to step in for her.

2. If they hit on her, she can say "I'm only in 10th grade (she should deduct one grade and one year when saying this - it's okay to lie), plus there's a restaurant policy we're not allowed to fraternize with customers." If they press, again she should go tell her manager. This is a part of what they are there for!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was also sensitive and felt yucky about unwanted male attention. If these guys are just asking for her number and not creepy I think with time she can learn to say flattered but taken/not looking. For inappropriate remarks she should report to the manager and see if they will reassign another waitress to the table

I never say "I'm taken" nor do I advise girls to say that. It encourages men to only respect other mens' property. Men need to learn sometimes a woman (girl) would rather be a single cat lady because men are just THAT shitty, and if they want women to date they need to raise their personal bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. If anyone asks for her phone number or instagram, she can say "Sorry, it's restaurant policy we're not allowed to do that." If they press her she should say "I really need this job, so I can't." And then she should tell her manager that a customer is pressuring her for her contact info and to ask them to step in for her.

2. If they hit on her, she can say "I'm only in 10th grade (she should deduct one grade and one year when saying this - it's okay to lie), plus there's a restaurant policy we're not allowed to fraternize with customers." If they press, again she should go tell her manager. This is a part of what they are there for!

I absolutely love this. Id wager some men (like the perv on this thread) would say something like "Oh thats totally fine!" and she can throw in a "I prefer to date boys my own age" or "you're old enough to be my dad hehehe giggle, no thank you". Make these men feel as uncomfortable as they make women feel.

[Anonymous]

This is such a weird thread.

Asking for someone’s number is not harassment. A bit low class to do it to a server when you are a customer but not harassment.

There is no need to wear a wedding ring, apologize or offer any explanation. A simple polite no should suffice.

No need to dramatize a non dramatic situation.

[Anonymous]

Is this happening from customers or from co-workers (other servers, kitchen staff)?

If the remarks are from customers, where is she working? She needs to learn how to handle difficult customers and speak to her manager if the situation escalates. A simple "no thank you" or "I do not give out my number". should work. If it has escalated to harassment, then she goes to her manager.

If the remarks are coming from coworkers, definitely go to the manager. It is actually very common to get harassed by coworkers at a restaurant. I waited tables in high school, college and grad school and in just about every single place I got harassed by management or kitchen staff (and I am not super attractive).