I want to drop the rope on being mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like people saying “just outsource” haven’t really tried to do it before.
Yeah. We would all like to hire someone to work from 2-6pm every day to watch kids after school, drive them places, do a couple of loads of laundry, and get dinner started. But there aren’t a lot of people who want to do that.

Part-time afternoon nannies or babysitters can be hard to find during the school year, I agree. But part-time housekeepers who don't watch kids are not hard to find.

OP can easily afford a housekeeper to come 10, 15, 20 (whatever she wants) hours a week who can do her laundry, cook several meals, run errands, tidy up, organize closets, you name it. And OP can drive her own kids to activities, it's not the end of the world -- mix in some carpools if you can.

It isn't hard to find someone to work from 2-6 if you can pay them an hourly wage that gets them close or at fulltime work. They can usually drive as well. Plenty of people with $$ like OP can find these folks.

LOL! Well, ok, but that's dumb! If a family is paying someone the equivalent of fulltime work, then obviously the family should just hire a fulltime nanny. Why wouldn't they if they are paying that rate anyways? I'm sure you can find plenty for them to do while kids are in school, and then they are coverage for days off school, sick days, etc. That's an option too, OP, just hire a fulltime nanny/house manager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part-time help runs $35/hour. Minimum of 6 hours.

If OP's DH has such a "big job" that he is basically unavailable but yet can't afford that, then he is doing something wrong...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - kids are 10 years old and younger. They just don’t care. I have told them to do chores and they do it for a week then quit. They don’t care if they have clean clothes or clean dishes. They don’t care if the house is a mess. I care so I clean and make food.

I don’t actually like much food - I would prefer to never cook another meal for the rest of my life.

So what is their punishment if they don't do chores? Or...what is their incentive to do chores?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part-time help runs $35/hour. Minimum of 6 hours.

If OP's DH has such a "big job" that he is basically unavailable but yet can't afford that, then he is doing something wrong...

Yep!!! I have a feeling OP is just a whiner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

Ha! I'm not overwhelmed in the slightest, and I wash my kids sheets about once a month. And in summer they bathe every night, but the rest of the year it's every other night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

you don't wash your kids sheets at least once a month?? What in the world. Do you do yours? I have very little free time but to me washing all sheets once per week is a non-negotiable. Like that is just basic hygiene/cleanliness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

you don't wash your kids sheets at least once a month?? What in the world. Do you do yours? I have very little free time but to me washing all sheets once per week is a non-negotiable. Like that is just basic hygiene/cleanliness.

Why would you need to wash kid sheets once a week? I highly doubt that the norm. I think most folks wash kid sheets every two weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like people saying “just outsource” haven’t really tried to do it before.
Yeah. We would all like to hire someone to work from 2-6pm every day to watch kids after school, drive them places, do a couple of loads of laundry, and get dinner started. But there aren’t a lot of people who want to do that.

Part-time afternoon nannies or babysitters can be hard to find during the school year, I agree. But part-time housekeepers who don't watch kids are not hard to find.

OP can easily afford a housekeeper to come 10, 15, 20 (whatever she wants) hours a week who can do her laundry, cook several meals, run errands, tidy up, organize closets, you name it. And OP can drive her own kids to activities, it's not the end of the world -- mix in some carpools if you can.

It isn't hard to find someone to work from 2-6 if you can pay them an hourly wage that gets them close or at fulltime work. They can usually drive as well. Plenty of people with $$ like OP can find these folks.

LOL! Well, ok, but that's dumb! If a family is paying someone the equivalent of fulltime work, then obviously the family should just hire a fulltime nanny. Why wouldn't they if they are paying that rate anyways? I'm sure you can find plenty for them to do while kids are in school, and then they are coverage for days off school, sick days, etc. That's an option too, OP, just hire a fulltime nanny/house manager.

a 30ish hour per week nanny manager is cheaper than our fulltime nanny was (fulltime nanny did not drive). We needed our fulltime nanny for over 50 hours per week. Now that the kids are in ES, our nanny manager starts working around 2p and ends at 7p. She can drive, does organization stuff, makes kids dinner, grocery shops. Doesn't clean, but we have once per week housecleaning service for heavy cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like people saying “just outsource” haven’t really tried to do it before.
Yeah. We would all like to hire someone to work from 2-6pm every day to watch kids after school, drive them places, do a couple of loads of laundry, and get dinner started. But there aren’t a lot of people who want to do that.

Part-time afternoon nannies or babysitters can be hard to find during the school year, I agree. But part-time housekeepers who don't watch kids are not hard to find.

OP can easily afford a housekeeper to come 10, 15, 20 (whatever she wants) hours a week who can do her laundry, cook several meals, run errands, tidy up, organize closets, you name it. And OP can drive her own kids to activities, it's not the end of the world -- mix in some carpools if you can.

It isn't hard to find someone to work from 2-6 if you can pay them an hourly wage that gets them close or at fulltime work. They can usually drive as well. Plenty of people with $$ like OP can find these folks.

LOL! Well, ok, but that's dumb! If a family is paying someone the equivalent of fulltime work, then obviously the family should just hire a fulltime nanny. Why wouldn't they if they are paying that rate anyways? I'm sure you can find plenty for them to do while kids are in school, and then they are coverage for days off school, sick days, etc. That's an option too, OP, just hire a fulltime nanny/house manager.

a 30ish hour per week nanny manager is cheaper than our fulltime nanny was (fulltime nanny did not drive). We needed our fulltime nanny for over 50 hours per week. Now that the kids are in ES, our nanny manager starts working around 2p and ends at 7p. She can drive, does organization stuff, makes kids dinner, grocery shops. Doesn't clean, but we have once per week housecleaning service for heavy cleaning.

That sounds awesome! But the other PP is right that nannies looking for that kind of gig are not in abundance -- most would rather make more and work from 8-6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

Are you f’in kidding me? That is foul.
Once a week. A bare minimum. Your house stinks. You may not smell it but trust me, it does. Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

Are you f’in kidding me? That is foul.
Once a week. A bare minimum. Your house stinks. You may not smell it but trust me, it does. Disgusting.

I'm a DP, but you honestly think washing kids' sheets once a week is a "bare minimum"? So ideally their sheets should be washed multiple times a week? That sounds obsessive!

[Anonymous]

I wonder whether there are some specific things OP could choose not to do to save time and to encourage her husband to pick up the slack. A couple examples from my home: (1) my wife refuses to put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher and deposits them in the sink instead to save time (it might save her a couple seconds, but it costs me a few minutes because I later have to scrape off the dry food). This weekend I made sure that all my dishes and the kids dishes were immediately put in the dishwasher after use, and then when my wife woke up after breakfast there were no clean bowls available to her. She ended up washing her bowl from the previous morning. Of course this means that I have to be completely on top of putting away the clean dishes, but that's not particularly difficult. (2) my wife basically never folds laundry. I fold and put away my laundry and the kids' laundry, and she has to go down to the basement to get her clothes out of a bin. This recently motivated her to propose that we fold clothes together, since she can't ever find what she's looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder whether there are some specific things OP could choose not to do to save time and to encourage her husband to pick up the slack. A couple examples from my home: (1) my wife refuses to put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher and deposits them in the sink instead to save time (it might save her a couple seconds, but it costs me a few minutes because I later have to scrape off the dry food). This weekend I made sure that all my dishes and the kids dishes were immediately put in the dishwasher after use, and then when my wife woke up after breakfast there were no clean bowls available to her. She ended up washing her bowl from the previous morning. Of course this means that I have to be completely on top of putting away the clean dishes, but that's not particularly difficult. (2) my wife basically never folds laundry. I fold and put away my laundry and the kids' laundry, and she has to go down to the basement to get her clothes out of a bin. This recently motivated her to propose that we fold clothes together, since she can't ever find what she's looking for.

I think OP can "rope drop" on her DH as she sees fit, nbd. But her young kids? Obviously not! It's a ridiculous question!

(She can give them chores, but that wasn't the question.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - kids are 10 years old and younger. They just don’t care. I have told them to do chores and they do it for a week then quit. They don’t care if they have clean clothes or clean dishes. They don’t care if the house is a mess. I care so I clean and make food.

I don’t actually like much food - I would prefer to never cook another meal for the rest of my life.

Do you let them watch TV? Do they play with friends? Do they have devices? If so, chores get done before all of that. That'll make them care.