I want to drop the rope on being mom
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Anonymous
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DH works all the time, I take care of the kids 90% of the time and am just done. I want to just stop making food, doing dishes and laundry, driving everybody everywhere, doing all the end of the school year crap, etc. just drop the rope completely.
Is this possible? Anybody else done it? Did it work? Did the kids and DH pick up the rope? |
Anonymous
| Have you taught the kids how to do chores? Start there - they deserve to know how to do those things before you just disappear. |
Anonymous
| How old are your kids? Do you work outside the home? Is it full time or part time? |
Anonymous
This. No you can’t just stop. But you can start the systems rolling so you don’t have to do everything. Start with laundry. Even the littlest kids can put their dirty clothes in a hamper, put the clothes in a washer and transfer to a dryer. Even if you have to lift them to do it, make it part of your life. Teach them how to match socks and put their underwear away. Dishes…when they’re big enough they can put away forks and knives. They can put their own stuff in the sink or at least on the counter next to the sink. They can help rinse fruits and vegetables. They can put away their own toys. Make it easy for them to know where everything goes (pictures of the toy on the boxes). Tell dh what he should be in charge of if he’s not already. Trash, lawn, bills. Whatever works for your family. |
Anonymous
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Op - kids are 10 years old and younger. They just don’t care. I have told them to do chores and they do it for a week then quit. They don’t care if they have clean clothes or clean dishes. They don’t care if the house is a mess. I care so I clean and make food.
I don’t actually like much food - I would prefer to never cook another meal for the rest of my life. |
Anonymous
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You can’t just stop completely. You can however have a come to Jesus meeting with your spouse and kids depending on their age.
Driving them around is part of the job of being a parent. |
Anonymous
| So you're going to abandon the kids? Easier to just get a divorce and share them 50/50. One week on and one week off. |
Anonymous
| Are you a SAHM? |
Anonymous
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You don't have to have your kids in activities. There's no law about that and it doesn't make you a better parent, despite what people might say here.
My kids started doing their own laundry at a very young age (around 8 or 9). I cook because I enjoy it, but there are lots of heat and eat options available. What kind of year end stuff are you doing? You don't have to participate. Most of this is just make work for parents. |
Anonymous
| Op - I work full time. I feel like a glorified maid, driver and chef for my kids. I just want them to figure it out themselves. |
Anonymous
Quit your job. You’re supposed to be a mother not a worker bee. |
Anonymous
Do you make more than childcare costs? |
Anonymous
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If you can afford to hire a cleaner once a week or twice a month. It’s life changing as far as stress level and spouse resentment regarding cleaning.
You have to be consistent with the kids and chores. Reward when they’re done, consequence if not. Lower the bar on meals. Healthy and nutritious is more important than amount of ingredients or how long it took to prepare. Nothing I make takes more than 20 mins. I big declutter of clothes, toys and “ stuff” might do you all good too. |
Anonymous
Op - yes I make $200,000 a year |
Anonymous
| Limit the number of kid activities and hire a maid. |