I want to drop the rope on being mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - DH has one of those big jobs (think big law/finance) where they work a lot of hours. So it’s very hard for me to even rely on him not being pulled into a call or emergency. He helps more on the weekends but during the week it’s usually all me.

So you make 200k a year and he makes I’m assuming twice that amount or more. Hire the cleaners to come twice a week and hire someone to three times a week to do laundry, meal prep, and de clutter. If you can’t figure out how to do it by enlisting the kids (anyone in elementary school knows how to clean up after themselves, put their plate away, etc because they do it in school), then throw money at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Limit the number of kid activities and hire a maid.

What does your husband make?

Hire someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like people saying “just outsource” haven’t really tried to do it before.
Yeah. We would all like to hire someone to work from 2-6pm every day to watch kids after school, drive them places, do a couple of loads of laundry, and get dinner started. But there aren’t a lot of people who want to do that.

There are if you pay them 50k a year. Which OP and her husband should have

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - DH has one of those big jobs (think big law/finance) where they work a lot of hours. So it’s very hard for me to even rely on him not being pulled into a call or emergency. He helps more on the weekends but during the week it’s usually all me.

Then why don't you have cleaners come more often (they can also help with clutter) and have a nanny for driving the kids around? If he's in big law, get a chef, seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - DH has one of those big jobs (think big law/finance) where they work a lot of hours. So it’s very hard for me to even rely on him not being pulled into a call or emergency. He helps more on the weekends but during the week it’s usually all me.

I can tell you this excuse is BS. My DH is a c-suite executive and when he knew he had to pick up the slack suddenly he has the flexibility to do it. Unless your DH is in his first few years in big law or I banking he has flexibility. Your DH is playing you for a fool. When I was in big law (hate that term) partners used to come into the office to socialize, put their feet on the desk and read the newspaper, etc. to get away from their families. It’s well known and don’t fall for it!

+100

Been in Big Law and at Big 4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - DH has one of those big jobs (think big law/finance) where they work a lot of hours. So it’s very hard for me to even rely on him not being pulled into a call or emergency. He helps more on the weekends but during the week it’s usually all me.

I can tell you this excuse is BS. My DH is a c-suite executive and when he knew he had to pick up the slack suddenly he has the flexibility to do it. Unless your DH is in his first few years in big law or I banking he has flexibility. Your DH is playing you for a fool. When I was in big law (hate that term) partners used to come into the office to socialize, put their feet on the desk and read the newspaper, etc. to get away from their families. It’s well known and don’t fall for it!

+100

Been in Big Law and at Big 4

Whatever. Just take all the housework off both your plates and hire a damn housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

you don't wash your kids sheets at least once a month?? What in the world. Do you do yours? I have very little free time but to me washing all sheets once per week is a non-negotiable. Like that is just basic hygiene/cleanliness.

Why would you need to wash kid sheets once a week? I highly doubt that the norm. I think most folks wash kid sheets every two weeks.

That is what we do. We strip all the beds on the day the cleaning lady comes and she makes them up with clean sheets. Of course, if there is a spill or sickness, they get changed at that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

you don't wash your kids sheets at least once a month?? What in the world. Do you do yours? I have very little free time but to me washing all sheets once per week is a non-negotiable. Like that is just basic hygiene/cleanliness.

Why would you need to wash kid sheets once a week? I highly doubt that the norm. I think most folks wash kid sheets every two weeks.

That is what we do. We strip all the beds on the day the cleaning lady comes and she makes them up with clean sheets. Of course, if there is a spill or sickness, they get changed at that time.

Same! Our cleaning lady, who comes every other week, washes all sheets in the house each time she comes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

I've always washed sheets and towels once a week. Is that not normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like people saying “just outsource” haven’t really tried to do it before.
Yeah. We would all like to hire someone to work from 2-6pm every day to watch kids after school, drive them places, do a couple of loads of laundry, and get dinner started. But there aren’t a lot of people who want to do that.

Well yeah, you probably need to hire someone to work from 10-6 every day and also have them do groceries, household stuff, etc. There are people who would do that, assuming you pay them well.

We had our nanny transition to solely childcare when they were babies (plus some light laundry) to more of a house manager/babysitter when they got older. Not all nannies would be willing to do that but ours was so we kept her full-time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

WHAT? That is wild to me. But I really love having a clean, comfortable bed, so I've always done the same for my kids. And yes, I work full-time and actually my husband does the beds now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

Are you f’in kidding me? That is foul.
Once a week. A bare minimum. Your house stinks. You may not smell it but trust me, it does. Disgusting.

I'm a DP, but you honestly think washing kids' sheets once a week is a "bare minimum"? So ideally their sheets should be washed multiple times a week? That sounds obsessive!

DP, I think more than once a week is a bit much unless they're sick but once a week is totally normal, I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - I work full time. I feel like a glorified maid, driver and chef for my kids. I just want them to figure it out themselves.

You want under-10 year olds to drive themselves to practice? Sounds like you have a crappy chore balance with your husband, but try to operate in the land of reality here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway from this thread so far based on some of the responses is that I need to wash our sheets more often than I do.

Haha me too. Do you all really need to wash your kids sheets every month? seriously, who has time for that.

Are you f’in kidding me? That is foul.
Once a week. A bare minimum. Your house stinks. You may not smell it but trust me, it does. Disgusting.

I'm a DP, but you honestly think washing kids' sheets once a week is a "bare minimum"? So ideally their sheets should be washed multiple times a week? That sounds obsessive!

DP, I think more than once a week is a bit much unless they're sick but once a week is totally normal, I think.

DP. I wash everyone's sheets once a week on the morning our cleaner comes - she finishes them and makes the bed.

[Anonymous]

Is this an American thing to wash sheets every week? I am almost positive the rest of the world does not do this. I wash mine maybe once a quarter or maybe once a half year. They don't seem filthy to me? I don't smell. I don't get it. I don't sleep naked so maybe that helps.