Quitting my job without dh support

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 31 weeks into a pretty hard pregnancy. I've had multiple issues and decided I want to quit my job. My husband isn't fully on board with this idea. Will I be wrong if I quit without his full support?

Multiple issues... with the pregnancy? Quit. With your boss being a jerk? Deal with it (you'll be on maternity leave soon enough anyway).

But yeah, if you quit without at least letting your spouse know why and try to help you handle the underlying issue(s), you're the jerk.

It’s pregnancy related concerns for me. This is super embarrassing but I somehow tweaked my back just getting out of bed. I’m being treated for a pinched and inflamed sciatic nerve. There isn’t too much I can do or take with pregnancy so it’s pretty much bed rest and heat/cold therapy. My belly is super large and it’s been a lot of my lower back. I ended up with plantar fasciitis a month back that still gives me problems. I’m on my feet most of my work day and just need to quit and focus on pregnancy and getting us prepared for a baby. We have yet to do prepare for anything.

OP I thought you were going to say something risky with the baby. What you’re describing is pretty par for the course w/ pregnancy. I’d be tempted to say suck it up at this point until you can get to maternity leave. I don’t want to sound cold, but all of these expected things will feel so much tougher to deal w/ once the baby is here. I’ve had sciatica w/ 2 pregnancies, and you can do many things. Pt, acupuncture and chiropractor work were able to fix mine both times.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

You need to consult with a good spine doctor for pain: it's surely medicated with a short in your back and only takes one appointment. It releases the pain for months.

I’m not comfortable with medication while pregnant. No anti-inflammatories or injections.

Doctors should make judgement not you on that. The local numbing is safe for the baby

I disagree. It’s my body and my choice. A random doctor doesn’t get to decide that for me.

OP - you are a drama queen. Not seeking medical help for your back, doing needless stuff for nursery at friend's advice, not consulting with husband, not hiring more household help as you want to be on top of everything....

Try to think before you make next moves. Right now you have issues with logical reasoning. Better to take maternity leave earlier and loose some money, than quitting it completely from a dry financial standpoint

You together are also making over $0.5m and are perfectly able to hire more help at home

I never said I didn’t seek medical care. Not sure why you’re lying about that. I sought medical help but there isn’t much to do when you’re pregnant but heat/cold therapy and Tylenol.

I said I wouldn’t take medicine like anti-inflammatories from a spine doctor op told me to go to. There are risks taking steroids like hypertension and excess weight gain. That’s not worth it for me.

I’m not doing needless stuff for the nursery. All I’m doing is setting up a postpartum basket to keep in my bathroom.

I did consult with my husband

We don’t need help. We can’t afford a chef and we already outsource major cleaning.

Actually, the epidural steroid injection does not have weight gain as side effect. At all. Are you already overweight? Try stretching, yoga, not overeating, massage

A basket setup doesn't require quitting your job.

You said earlier your husband is not helping enough so you had to quit job. Now it appears that there is not much to do at all around the household.

Why exactly do you need to quit, then?

I wasn’t talking about stood injection shots. I was referencing steroids like prednisone.

I’m not overweight. I started at a normal and have gained 24lbs so far. I’m much more concerned with the hypertension risk.


I never said I had to quit my job because my husband wasn’t helping. I said I wanted to quit my job because of the pain and being on my feet all day. I said I would be able to do things around the house to fill the time between now and when the baby will come.

I said I wanted to quit because of the pain and being on my feet all day.

And I was not suggesting you to take daily steroid. There is a special pointed one-off injection into the spine that releases pain for months. It has no side effects that you described.
Weird you never heard of it while you are a NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

You need to consult with a good spine doctor for pain: it's surely medicated with a short in your back and only takes one appointment. It releases the pain for months.

I’m not comfortable with medication while pregnant. No anti-inflammatories or injections.

Doctors should make judgement not you on that. The local numbing is safe for the baby

I disagree. It’s my body and my choice. A random doctor doesn’t get to decide that for me.

OP - you are a drama queen. Not seeking medical help for your back, doing needless stuff for nursery at friend's advice, not consulting with husband, not hiring more household help as you want to be on top of everything....

Try to think before you make next moves. Right now you have issues with logical reasoning. Better to take maternity leave earlier and loose some money, than quitting it completely from a dry financial standpoint

You together are also making over $0.5m and are perfectly able to hire more help at home

I never said I didn’t seek medical care. Not sure why you’re lying about that. I sought medical help but there isn’t much to do when you’re pregnant but heat/cold therapy and Tylenol.

I said I wouldn’t take medicine like anti-inflammatories from a spine doctor op told me to go to. There are risks taking steroids like hypertension and excess weight gain. That’s not worth it for me.

I’m not doing needless stuff for the nursery. All I’m doing is setting up a postpartum basket to keep in my bathroom.

I did consult with my husband

We don’t need help. We can’t afford a chef and we already outsource major cleaning.

Actually, the epidural steroid injection does not have weight gain as side effect. At all. Are you already overweight? Try stretching, yoga, not overeating, massage

A basket setup doesn't require quitting your job.

You said earlier your husband is not helping enough so you had to quit job. Now it appears that there is not much to do at all around the household.

Why exactly do you need to quit, then?

I wasn’t talking about stood injection shots. I was referencing steroids like prednisone.

I’m not overweight. I started at a normal and have gained 24lbs so far. I’m much more concerned with the hypertension risk.


I never said I had to quit my job because my husband wasn’t helping. I said I wanted to quit my job because of the pain and being on my feet all day. I said I would be able to do things around the house to fill the time between now and when the baby will come.

I said I wanted to quit because of the pain and being on my feet all day.

And I was not suggesting you to take daily steroid. There is a special pointed one-off injection into the spine that releases pain for months. It has no side effects that you described.
Weird you never heard of it while you are a NP

I have heard of ESIs. I’m not interested in it. It’s considered a last resort for a pregnant woman. Again, I’m probably being cautious, but I’m not comfortable with any of that while I’m pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

You need to consult with a good spine doctor for pain: it's surely medicated with a short in your back and only takes one appointment. It releases the pain for months.

I’m not comfortable with medication while pregnant. No anti-inflammatories or injections.

Doctors should make judgement not you on that. The local numbing is safe for the baby

I disagree. It’s my body and my choice. A random doctor doesn’t get to decide that for me.

OP - you are a drama queen. Not seeking medical help for your back, doing needless stuff for nursery at friend's advice, not consulting with husband, not hiring more household help as you want to be on top of everything....

Try to think before you make next moves. Right now you have issues with logical reasoning. Better to take maternity leave earlier and loose some money, than quitting it completely from a dry financial standpoint

You together are also making over $0.5m and are perfectly able to hire more help at home

I never said I didn’t seek medical care. Not sure why you’re lying about that. I sought medical help but there isn’t much to do when you’re pregnant but heat/cold therapy and Tylenol.

I said I wouldn’t take medicine like anti-inflammatories from a spine doctor op told me to go to. There are risks taking steroids like hypertension and excess weight gain. That’s not worth it for me.

I’m not doing needless stuff for the nursery. All I’m doing is setting up a postpartum basket to keep in my bathroom.

I did consult with my husband

We don’t need help. We can’t afford a chef and we already outsource major cleaning.

Actually, the epidural steroid injection does not have weight gain as side effect. At all. Are you already overweight? Try stretching, yoga, not overeating, massage

A basket setup doesn't require quitting your job.

You said earlier your husband is not helping enough so you had to quit job. Now it appears that there is not much to do at all around the household.

Why exactly do you need to quit, then?

I wasn’t talking about stood injection shots. I was referencing steroids like prednisone.

I’m not overweight. I started at a normal and have gained 24lbs so far. I’m much more concerned with the hypertension risk.


I never said I had to quit my job because my husband wasn’t helping. I said I wanted to quit my job because of the pain and being on my feet all day. I said I would be able to do things around the house to fill the time between now and when the baby will come.

I said I wanted to quit because of the pain and being on my feet all day.

And I was not suggesting you to take daily steroid. There is a special pointed one-off injection into the spine that releases pain for months. It has no side effects that you described.
Weird you never heard of it while you are a NP

I have heard of ESIs. I’m not interested in it. It’s considered a last resort for a pregnant woman. Again, I’m probably being cautious, but I’m not comfortable with any of that while I’m pregnant.

Yes, you are too paranoid, OP

[Anonymous]

NP here - I hear you but you are so close to the end. Just suck it up until after your maternity leave and then make a decision. Don’t make a long term decision to a short term problem. And especially don’t burn the relationship capital you have right now - things are about to get harder when the baby comes. You have got this.

[Anonymous]

Keep us posted on what you do..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your parental leave policy? Would you like your job more if it was part time or different in some other way?

Having more info about your job and situation would help before we weigh in.

I get 12 weeks but will be extending to 16 weeks with my paid time off and vacation.

I like my job but this pregnancy has been very taxing on my body. The extra weight and big belly make it hard to be on my feet for long periods of time.

I do work in a field where I’m confident I will find a job when I’m ready to go back to work. I would like to quit and go back at 4-6 months when I feel ready.

If you quit how are you getting paid time off and vacation? Not all companies pay that out when you leave. I think you're foolish to actually quit your job and lose all your benefits. I would take short-term disability leave if you qualify or leave without pay but quitting your job is incredibly stupid. So stupid I really have to wonder if this is a real post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

No one needs a “postpartum cart,” OP.

Oh. My friend said it was a must. A place to keep postpartum supplies, nursing items, and extra diapers and wipes.

I was on bedrest the last five months of my pregnancy. The only things that are a must are diapers and wipes, onesies, blankets, crib/bassinet, and a car seat. Literally everything else can wait. (I breastfed)

I get that you want everything to be set up before the baby comes, but it is not required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

No one needs a “postpartum cart,” OP.

Oh. My friend said it was a must. A place to keep postpartum supplies, nursing items, and extra diapers and wipes.

I was on bedrest the last five months of my pregnancy. The only things that are a must are diapers and wipes, onesies, blankets, crib/bassinet, and a car seat. Literally everything else can wait. (I breastfed)

I get that you want everything to be set up before the baby comes, but it is not required.

This!! The only other thing I’d add is a breast pump. Everything else is just frills. I bet you have plenty of clothes and blankets from your baby shower, and the rest is a few clicks on Amazon.

Ask your DH to unbox everything and set it all out tonight in front of you. Sit and take inventory and order whatever you still need. Or if your DH is unhelpful, ask a friend to come over and perform that function. It really sounds ridiculous to want to quit your job over something so simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

No one needs a “postpartum cart,” OP.

Oh. My friend said it was a must. A place to keep postpartum supplies, nursing items, and extra diapers and wipes.

I was on bedrest the last five months of my pregnancy. The only things that are a must are diapers and wipes, onesies, blankets, crib/bassinet, and a car seat. Literally everything else can wait. (I breastfed)

I get that you want everything to be set up before the baby comes, but it is not required.

This!! The only other thing I’d add is a breast pump. Everything else is just frills. I bet you have plenty of clothes and blankets from your baby shower, and the rest is a few clicks on Amazon.

Ask your DH to unbox everything and set it all out tonight in front of you. Sit and take inventory and order whatever you still need. Or if your DH is unhelpful, ask a friend to come over and perform that function. It really sounds ridiculous to want to quit your job over something so simple.

She seems to be fed up with her job and her husband might be right about her not wanting to work after birth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Keep us posted on what you do..

Op here. I will be taking my maternity leave early but FMLA requires 30 days notice so I won’t be taking it until early June. I get 12 weeks job protection ( 6 weeks paid) so have time to consider if I want to go back in the fall. I have sick days and vacation I planned to use to extend my maternity leave but decided to take it starting next week. I will be off until my due date in late June. This way I can keep my insurance and have the next 4 months to decided what I want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

No one needs a “postpartum cart,” OP.

Oh. My friend said it was a must. A place to keep postpartum supplies, nursing items, and extra diapers and wipes.

I was on bedrest the last five months of my pregnancy. The only things that are a must are diapers and wipes, onesies, blankets, crib/bassinet, and a car seat. Literally everything else can wait. (I breastfed)

I get that you want everything to be set up before the baby comes, but it is not required.

This!! The only other thing I’d add is a breast pump. Everything else is just frills. I bet you have plenty of clothes and blankets from your baby shower, and the rest is a few clicks on Amazon.

Ask your DH to unbox everything and set it all out tonight in front of you. Sit and take inventory and order whatever you still need. Or if your DH is unhelpful, ask a friend to come over and perform that function. It really sounds ridiculous to want to quit your job over something so simple.

Op here. We started unboxing things last night. It’s just very overwhelming because we received so many gifts. I have to find places to put things, clear out the nursery closet, and organize it all. We got over 100 gifts so we are swamped with all of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

No one needs a “postpartum cart,” OP.

Oh. My friend said it was a must. A place to keep postpartum supplies, nursing items, and extra diapers and wipes.

I was on bedrest the last five months of my pregnancy. The only things that are a must are diapers and wipes, onesies, blankets, crib/bassinet, and a car seat. Literally everything else can wait. (I breastfed)

I get that you want everything to be set up before the baby comes, but it is not required.

This!! The only other thing I’d add is a breast pump. Everything else is just frills. I bet you have plenty of clothes and blankets from your baby shower, and the rest is a few clicks on Amazon.

Ask your DH to unbox everything and set it all out tonight in front of you. Sit and take inventory and order whatever you still need. Or if your DH is unhelpful, ask a friend to come over and perform that function. It really sounds ridiculous to want to quit your job over something so simple.

Op here. I don’t think we will need to buy anything. We were gifted our registry and many other things we didn’t have on our registry.

We were so far gifted ( what we opened)

- bouncer
- swing
- high chair
- various washes and lotions
- 50+ clothing items
- like 20 burp clothes
- pacifiers
- 3 sets of bottles
- A portable breast pump
- stroller, car seat, and longer.
- changing pad

So far that’s all we have opened. We still have like 80 gifts to open up. We need to put together the crib, dresser, and bookshelf. Put in the rocker and the rug and organize for the nursery, our room, and kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

No one needs a “postpartum cart,” OP.

Oh. My friend said it was a must. A place to keep postpartum supplies, nursing items, and extra diapers and wipes.

Your friend is nuts. That stuff can go on a pile on a dresser—extra in a closet.

I worked until the day of birth for both kids.

My first I had almost zero. I had a bassinet, a breast pump, some bottles and pacifiers, diapers and three outfits and swaddles. I did not even buy a crib or furniture until after the birth. Oh yeah, I had a car seat. It took less than two hours to organize this. I literally bought everything online from my iPhone after the baby was born. This takes hours to prep for a baby.

Well she found it helpful to have pads and all the postpartum stuff in a cart. She would use it for the baby too.

that is a nice to h ave, not a need. You can do. It when you have tackled the back issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.

+1. Defer the decision to quit. If you are in pain, you should be able to get a doctor’s note to take leave. Even if you run out of paid, you can take unpaid later right?

Organizing baby items is like… a weekend or two at the most. You do not need to quit in order to do that. Put that rationale aside as it makes your case weaker.

I can’t. I have only been at this job for 8 months and I don’t think I can take all that time off.

We have to setup the nursery. Unbox everything. Wash. Sterilize. All the things. My husband isn’t good at that stuff and doesn’t plan to help me do any of it besides putting together the crib.

Yeah you need to nip this attitude in the bud, pronto. Even if you’re the one who’s into organization and want to take the lead on that, he can still do the unboxing, washing, sterilizing. Heck, if you are truly immobile, he can even organize things under your direction.

I think I misrepresented my situation. I’m not immobile. I’m in pain but I still work and still maintain our house. It’s really hard some days because I’m in a lot of pain.

My husband will help unbox and put furniture together. He doesn’t care about putting together a postpartum cart or organizing clothes and stuff. He will help if I ask but it’s not his first thought to do any of it.

No one needs a “postpartum cart,” OP.

Oh. My friend said it was a must. A place to keep postpartum supplies, nursing items, and extra diapers and wipes.

I was on bedrest the last five months of my pregnancy. The only things that are a must are diapers and wipes, onesies, blankets, crib/bassinet, and a car seat. Literally everything else can wait. (I breastfed)

I get that you want everything to be set up before the baby comes, but it is not required.

This!! The only other thing I’d add is a breast pump. Everything else is just frills. I bet you have plenty of clothes and blankets from your baby shower, and the rest is a few clicks on Amazon.

Ask your DH to unbox everything and set it all out tonight in front of you. Sit and take inventory and order whatever you still need. Or if your DH is unhelpful, ask a friend to come over and perform that function. It really sounds ridiculous to want to quit your job over something so simple.

Op here. We started unboxing things last night. It’s just very overwhelming because we received so many gifts. I have to find places to put things, clear out the nursery closet, and organize it all. We got over 100 gifts so we are swamped with all of it.

It’s the Thankyou notes that take the most time, not the unwrapping and storing.