Quitting my job without dh support

[Anonymous]

I am 31 weeks into a pretty hard pregnancy. I've had multiple issues and decided I want to quit my job. My husband isn't fully on board with this idea. Will I be wrong if I quit without his full support?

[Anonymous]

Of course you will be wrong. You are in a partnership. You can't make a major change like this without coordinating with your partner.

[Anonymous]

PP here. It would be a colossal betrayal of trust. How would you feel if your husband came home one day and told you that he had up and quit his job, without consulting you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 31 weeks into a pretty hard pregnancy. I've had multiple issues and decided I want to quit my job. My husband isn't fully on board with this idea. Will I be wrong if I quit without his full support?

Multiple issues... with the pregnancy? Quit. With your boss being a jerk? Deal with it (you'll be on maternity leave soon enough anyway).

But yeah, if you quit without at least letting your spouse know why and try to help you handle the underlying issue(s), you're the jerk.

[Anonymous]

If you wouldn’t want him to do this, you shouldn’t either.

What’s your leave situation like for post-birth? That could be a good time to find a new job and think of a new direction.

[Anonymous]

What’s your parental leave policy? Would you like your job more if it was part time or different in some other way?

Having more info about your job and situation would help before we weigh in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 31 weeks into a pretty hard pregnancy. I've had multiple issues and decided I want to quit my job. My husband isn't fully on board with this idea. Will I be wrong if I quit without his full support?

Multiple issues... with the pregnancy? Quit. With your boss being a jerk? Deal with it (you'll be on maternity leave soon enough anyway).

But yeah, if you quit without at least letting your spouse know why and try to help you handle the underlying issue(s), you're the jerk.

It’s pregnancy related concerns for me. This is super embarrassing but I somehow tweaked my back just getting out of bed. I’m being treated for a pinched and inflamed sciatic nerve. There isn’t too much I can do or take with pregnancy so it’s pretty much bed rest and heat/cold therapy. My belly is super large and it’s been a lot of my lower back. I ended up with plantar fasciitis a month back that still gives me problems. I’m on my feet most of my work day and just need to quit and focus on pregnancy and getting us prepared for a baby. We have yet to do prepare for anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s your parental leave policy? Would you like your job more if it was part time or different in some other way?

Having more info about your job and situation would help before we weigh in.

I get 12 weeks but will be extending to 16 weeks with my paid time off and vacation.

I like my job but this pregnancy has been very taxing on my body. The extra weight and big belly make it hard to be on my feet for long periods of time.

I do work in a field where I’m confident I will find a job when I’m ready to go back to work. I would like to quit and go back at 4-6 months when I feel ready.

[Anonymous]

Yes you will be wrong if you quit your job without your spouses support or a plan.

[Anonymous]

Having a good relationship with your spouse is more important than an Insta-worthy nursery. Babies need so little and it’s easy to get recs from new moms or online forums and buy everything on Amazon.

But yes, if you are physically unable to do your job and can’t get accommodations, that is a valid reason for quitting. Surprised your DH isn’t on board, especially if you can quickly get another job. What are his concerns?

[Anonymous]

Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a good relationship with your spouse is more important than an Insta-worthy nursery. Babies need so little and it’s easy to get recs from new moms or online forums and buy everything on Amazon.

But yes, if you are physically unable to do your job and can’t get accommodations, that is a valid reason for quitting. Surprised your DH isn’t on board, especially if you can quickly get another job. What are his concerns?

I don’t care about an insta-worthy nursery. Neither of us care about social media at all. We have bought nothing and haven’t done one thing to prepare for this baby. We need to get on it because we have only 2 months left. We just had my baby shower and we need start organizing it all.

I’m in near constant pain and it’s hard to do my job.

He doesn’t have any valid concerns other than worrying I will regret quitting my job and become bored. I think he secretly is concerned I will never want to work again. We have ample means thanks to our saving and socking away my salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

[Anonymous]

Can you take a few days of sick leave to give yourself a break and re-set a bit? Can your work offer any accommodations that would have you less on your feet?

My main concern with quitting is that you'll be giving up your paid leave and exchanging it for 6-9 months totally unpaid. So if there's a compromise position, I'd look really hard to find it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you not first see what is available as an accommodation or short term disability or unpaid FMLA?

I can only take short term disability two weeks before my due date. I’m used unpaid fmla as part of my maternity leave. I get 6 weeks paid leave and the rest is unpaid.

That hasn’t happened yet. Take the leave you need now to heal. Don’t quit becuase you tweaked your back and need to buy things for the baby. He’s right that you’re not thinking clearly.