So many regrets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reads like a troll post. Maybe it isn’t but it definitely reads like one.

I'm not trolling. I think I really messed up when I see where people get in and we should have applied more broadly.

You can always transfer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

A loser at Vandy that has the same job as an over achieving State kid is about right. Every top school has losers. And they end up having coworkers that over achieved at some no name state school….
+100
I always wind up pitying people like your coworker. They are so very insecure and can't stand the fact that they wound up in the same place as someone who didn't spend a fortune on college.

I know a lot of losers from top schools. I'm related to some. They didn't start out as losers, but for whatever reason (burnout, drugs, bad emotional management, bad relationships, sports injuries that killed their mojo and scholarship, etc.) they certainly didn't burn as brightly as they did before they went to that "top" school. I have a kid who has almost has the stats for a tippy top school, but I would prefer them go to a school where they will be a top fish instead of a school where they will fight imposter syndrome, or worse still, self-harm, from the stress of the environ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reads like a troll post. Maybe it isn’t but it definitely reads like one.

I'm not trolling. I think I really messed up when I see where people get in and we should have applied more broadly.

You can always transfer

You should stop thinking that you missed your opportunity. It's like spending your honeymoon beating yourself up because Brad Pitt is still single. He wasn't really in your choice set to begin with.

[Anonymous]

I’ve had what-ifs too but once things start sinking in and you have time to reflect, it gets easier and you realize you have to move on, pick a school and make the best of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reads like a troll post. Maybe it isn’t but it definitely reads like one.

I'm not trolling. I think I really messed up when I see where people get in and we should have applied more broadly.

You can always transfer

You should stop thinking that you missed your opportunity. It's like spending your honeymoon beating yourself up because Brad Pitt is still single. He wasn't really in your choice set to begin with.

lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

Not really, because the Tulane parents are focused on their kid. Best choice for that family.

Plus, a kid with those stats aren't likely to get admitted to Tulane anyways.

You can step off the short bus and into Tulane if you apply ED, TO, and full pay.

What a joke of a comment.

Found the full pay, test optional Tulane ED admit.

You made the world a worse place today, PP. You made other students and parents feel bad about their college admissions process despite the fact that it will have zero effect on your life. You really should take a look inward and ask yourself why.

I also made the OP and others like her feel better about theirs. A matter of perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would step away from DCUM, OP. Like any social media, it’s not real life.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the worst financial mistakes parents can make is to think “we’ll make it work somehow” if DS gets into some OOS or private school. That’s a lot of extra money going out the door and not just for tuition. Trips home, etc all add up rapidly. I work with parents who are still in debt years later. Don’t let this intense period of time and comparison with other parents and their kids make you feel bad about what sounds like a very wise decision.

College is an investment.

In the education realm, parents spend their entire lives and sacrifice a lot for their kids. My kids are worth the investment. The trips to Cancun can wait 4 more years. We saved so we don't have to have a huge "in state vs OOS" debate.

You do you.

We all know people who graduated from selective privates holding neither fancy nor high-paying jobs. Nothing wrong with this. The investment is relative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

Not really, because the Tulane parents are focused on their kid. Best choice for that family.

Plus, a kid with those stats aren't likely to get admitted to Tulane anyways.

You can step off the short bus and into Tulane if you apply ED, TO, and full pay.

What a joke of a comment.

Found the full pay, test optional Tulane ED admit.

You made the world a worse place today, PP. You made other students and parents feel bad about their college admissions process despite the fact that it will have zero effect on your life. You really should take a look inward and ask yourself why.

I also made the OP and others like her feel better about theirs. A matter of perspective.

You really didn’t. You just sound like a very unhappy person. Congrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

Vandy doesn't have a huge presence on The Street. It might be more than PP's "average state school," whatever that was, but it's not a known feeder like Penn, Cornell, Williams, Bucknell, Middlebury, and the like.

OK...you are kind of missing the point. Replace The Street with Bain Consulting.

I just don't understand why people flex the equivalent of "I went to average state U and have average professional job and I love to rag on the Vandy person that also has average professional job"...yet rightfully so, nobody thinks it's cool for the Vandy grad at Bain to feel superior to the average state U kid that couldn't even get an interview to save their life.

I’ve worked at BCG and went to a small private liberal arts college in the Midwest that you have never heard of. I think the point is that very rarely is there only one way to get where you want to go.

Everyone has their dumb anecdote about how one kid who went to a no-name school did really well but ffs this is not the typical or expected outcome.

You do realize that it's not a rare occurrence for a smart, hard working student to go to a state school (or no-name school) - kick butt - and then succeed in life, right along side others from private schools.....right?

It is a rare occurrence for a smart, hardworking state student with no family connections to end up at elite employers in a client-facing role (Goldman has thousands of employees…they aren’t all investment bankers or traders or quants).

The complaint is it’s always fine for the state U person to brag that the Harvard kid ended up at the same place…but I guess it’s never cool to rag on the opposite.

There’s a decent set of state universities where it actually isn’t rare at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

Vandy doesn't have a huge presence on The Street. It might be more than PP's "average state school," whatever that was, but it's not a known feeder like Penn, Cornell, Williams, Bucknell, Middlebury, and the like.

OK...you are kind of missing the point. Replace The Street with Bain Consulting.

I just don't understand why people flex the equivalent of "I went to average state U and have average professional job and I love to rag on the Vandy person that also has average professional job"...yet rightfully so, nobody thinks it's cool for the Vandy grad at Bain to feel superior to the average state U kid that couldn't even get an interview to save their life.

I’ve worked at BCG and went to a small private liberal arts college in the Midwest that you have never heard of. I think the point is that very rarely is there only one way to get where you want to go.

Everyone has their dumb anecdote about how one kid who went to a no-name school did really well but ffs this is not the typical or expected outcome.

You do realize that it's not a rare occurrence for a smart, hard working student to go to a state school (or no-name school) - kick butt - and then succeed in life, right along side others from private schools.....right?

It is a rare occurrence for a smart, hardworking state student with no family connections to end up at elite employers in a client-facing role (Goldman has thousands of employees…they aren’t all investment bankers or traders or quants).

The complaint is it’s always fine for the state U person to brag that the Harvard kid ended up at the same place…but I guess it’s never cool to rag on the opposite.

There’s a decent set of state universities where it actually isn’t rare at all.

Not “average state u”…but rather around 5 highly ranked flagships. It’s a small group.

Certainly not a no-name state school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

Vandy doesn't have a huge presence on The Street. It might be more than PP's "average state school," whatever that was, but it's not a known feeder like Penn, Cornell, Williams, Bucknell, Middlebury, and the like.

OK...you are kind of missing the point. Replace The Street with Bain Consulting.

I just don't understand why people flex the equivalent of "I went to average state U and have average professional job and I love to rag on the Vandy person that also has average professional job"...yet rightfully so, nobody thinks it's cool for the Vandy grad at Bain to feel superior to the average state U kid that couldn't even get an interview to save their life.

I’ve worked at BCG and went to a small private liberal arts college in the Midwest that you have never heard of. I think the point is that very rarely is there only one way to get where you want to go.

Everyone has their dumb anecdote about how one kid who went to a no-name school did really well but ffs this is not the typical or expected outcome.

You do realize that it's not a rare occurrence for a smart, hard working student to go to a state school (or no-name school) - kick butt - and then succeed in life, right along side others from private schools.....right?

It is a rare occurrence for a smart, hardworking state student with no family connections to end up at elite employers in a client-facing role (Goldman has thousands of employees…they aren’t all investment bankers or traders or quants).

The complaint is it’s always fine for the state U person to brag that the Harvard kid ended up at the same place…but I guess it’s never cool to rag on the opposite.

There’s a decent set of state universities where it actually isn’t rare at all.

Not “average state u”…but rather around 5 highly ranked flagships. It’s a small group.

Certainly not a no-name state school.

No it’s actually a much larger group than that, including quite a few with business programs. I will grant you that it isn’t a no-name school, but I’m pretty sure you would consider some of these places quite average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

+1 plus New Orleans is just for partying. I would never go to college in a place I wouldn't be willing to live after school.

Biggest BS I have ever heard…..so you would never go Cornell, Dartmouth, Brown, Princeton, Yale….. I see…

Wait. What's wrong with providence? Or princeton for that matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reads like a troll post. Maybe it isn’t but it definitely reads like one.

I'm not trolling. I think I really messed up when I see where people get in and we should have applied more broadly.

This is the season of regrets and second guessing. Even if you apply to 20 schools (which my DD did), there will always be the what ifs and if I'd only...

In my experience, this is where private college counselors earn their money.
They create a list of schools for you to consider and explain why the list covers all the bases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we advised dd all wrong when I see kids with lower stats and scores getting into schools like Tulane. Our reasoning was that they are not as affordable as in-state, we get no financial aid anywhere so we needed to think about cost, making sure we can help her down the line with grad school, housing. But now I feel like dd worked so hard for absolutely nothing and I have massive regret. Maybe we should have been more open to spending a lot for college.

That is why we saved for years and cut the budget down, so kids could go to their elites once they got in. Your money your choice, but if you are in state and she gets in UVA they will have close enough outcomes to elites if she can be in the top group there