So many regrets

[Anonymous]

Is your daughter sad or are YOU sad because you think she should have gotten into a higher prestige school?

[Anonymous]

Where did she apply? What were her stats? Maybe it wasn't a bad strategy at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

THIS! 100 percent. Don't get caught up in the nonsense OP. Be proud of your daughter and her choice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

[Anonymous]

In the end it doesn't really matter but fwiw Tulane gives merit aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the end it doesn't really matter but fwiw Tulane gives merit aid.

Not to low-stat kids, hence the word "merit." The low-stat kids buy their way in by applying ED, TO, and full pay.

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel for you that you are having regrets. However, it sounds like you are sending your DD to a school that is affordable for your family. If your DD can graduate with zero, or very little, college dept, that is a blessing. My DD started graduate school this month and grad school does not offer the depth of scholarships, etc. that undergrad offers. So, you were wise to guide your DD somewhere affordable as it may offer you more opportunities to help and support her later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reads like a troll post. Maybe it isn’t but it definitely reads like one.

I'm not trolling. I think I really messed up when I see where people get in and we should have applied more broadly.

But it sounds like you didn't apply not because you thought she wouldn't get in, but because its wasn't a sound financial decision? That doesn't change with other people getting in. I think you are just second-guessing yourself. I think this feeling will pass as people stop talking about where they go in. The key thing is don't let this attitude show to your daughter!

I am not even talking about college now, and tried to keep it to a minimum while we were applying. But I am a mess inside. I feel sort of terrible for dd, who is fine with her choice but not absolutely thrilled. I feel like maybe going for different schools would have made her feel more special and valued.

WE did not apply, OP. This is all about you and some unresolved issues in your own life. Go to therapy and let your DD be happy.

[Anonymous]

I would step away from DCUM, OP. Like any social media, it’s not real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would step away from DCUM, OP. Like any social media, it’s not real life.

Real life is getting to me too and I am majorly second-guessing.

[Anonymous]

I understand your feelings, OP. You are not alone.

I have one kid in college and one in high school. My first is at an institution that's a great fit for him - he went to his safety, instead of his reach.

"Not having regrets" is my main motive to help my children in the college admissions process. Not just finding an institution, or school within an institution, that has a good reputation. But finding the right fit. That's much harder, and involves a lot of visits and research. Sometimes the right fit isn't the highest ranking college!!! Parents and kids have a really hard time accepting this truth.

I hope your kid is happy and fulfilled wherever they decide to go.

[Anonymous]

Lots of super smart kids care about affordability. Unless your state flagship is truly terrible there is nothing wrong with this approach. They will be with lots of other smart kids that are trying to maximize their ROI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?