So many regrets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would step away from DCUM, OP. Like any social media, it’s not real life.

Real life is getting to me too and I am majorly second-guessing.

Same. A lot of stress about not EDing somewhere for my high stats kid who has been continually deferred or waitlisted so far.

This happened to my kid a few years ago. I suggest embracing the acceptances (even if they were safeties) and find things they love about each school. They may end up a place they really didn't imagine they'd end up but it either works out at the college they choose (like my kid) - or they transfer after freshman year (like their friends in similar situation).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

+100
I always wind up pitying people like your coworker. They are so very insecure and can't stand the fact that they wound up in the same place as someone who didn't spend a fortune on college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

DP. Why are you assuming the PP worked on Wall Street? Or had any desire whatsoever to work in finance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

A loser at Vandy that has the same job as an over achieving State kid is about right. Every top school has losers. And they end up having coworkers that over achieved at some no name state school….
+100
I always wind up pitying people like your coworker. They are so very insecure and can't stand the fact that they wound up in the same place as someone who didn't spend a fortune on college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my kid is similar -- super high stats who went to a magnet program and got straight As, ended up at state flagship.

On the plus side, college is not too hard for DC. They are used to working hard and getting straight As as a dual STEM major, will also get a masters there. So, they'll have 3 STEM degrees for under $120K.

They will have enough money left over in their college fund to buy a brand new nice car after college if they want. Or they can have my car and bank the difference.

Not a bad start to life after graduating college.

I'd recommend that they roll that into IRA's if I were you. Get a car loan for the car. The compounded gains on the leftover college funds in the IRA is a MUCH better deal. (And - only do this when you are sure she's done wanting any tuition for future school)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

+1 plus New Orleans is just for partying. I would never go to college in a place I wouldn't be willing to live after school.

Biggest BS I have ever heard…..so you would never go Cornell, Dartmouth, Brown, Princeton, Yale….. I see…

Ithaca, Hanover, Providence, Princeton, and New Haven are nothing like New Orleans. Come on.

Hahahah….sure…the idiot PP would not go to Cornell since she would never live in Ithaca.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

Based on what those companies do, their employees might feel superior but I think those companies are responsible for asset stripping and damaging the social fabric of America. So...need to factor that in.

People who could never have gotten a job with these companies in a million years love to pretend that actually they would never work there because those companies are evil or something. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Our kids go to in-state schools. Consequently, we are able to afford very expensive study abroad programs for them that we might not otherwise be able to afford (comfortably) if they attended private schools. Works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

Vandy doesn't have a huge presence on The Street. It might be more than PP's "average state school," whatever that was, but it's not a known feeder like Penn, Cornell, Williams, Bucknell, Middlebury, and the like.

OK...you are kind of missing the point. Replace The Street with Bain Consulting.

I just don't understand why people flex the equivalent of "I went to average state U and have average professional job and I love to rag on the Vandy person that also has average professional job"...yet rightfully so, nobody thinks it's cool for the Vandy grad at Bain to feel superior to the average state U kid that couldn't even get an interview to save their life.

I’ve worked at BCG and went to a small private liberal arts college in the Midwest that you have never heard of. I think the point is that very rarely is there only one way to get where you want to go.

Everyone has their dumb anecdote about how one kid who went to a no-name school did really well but ffs this is not the typical or expected outcome.

You do realize that it's not a rare occurrence for a smart, hard working student to go to a state school (or no-name school) - kick butt - and then succeed in life, right along side others from private schools.....right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids go to in-state schools. Consequently, we are able to afford very expensive study abroad programs for them that we might not otherwise be able to afford (comfortably) if they attended private schools. Works for us.

You're "paying" one way or another. Private or public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

Not really, because the Tulane parents are focused on their kid. Best choice for that family.

Plus, a kid with those stats aren't likely to get admitted to Tulane anyways.

You can step off the short bus and into Tulane if you apply ED, TO, and full pay.

What a joke of a comment.

Found the full pay, test optional Tulane ED admit.

You made the world a worse place today, PP. You made other students and parents feel bad about their college admissions process despite the fact that it will have zero effect on your life. You really should take a look inward and ask yourself why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

Vandy doesn't have a huge presence on The Street. It might be more than PP's "average state school," whatever that was, but it's not a known feeder like Penn, Cornell, Williams, Bucknell, Middlebury, and the like.

OK...you are kind of missing the point. Replace The Street with Bain Consulting.

I just don't understand why people flex the equivalent of "I went to average state U and have average professional job and I love to rag on the Vandy person that also has average professional job"...yet rightfully so, nobody thinks it's cool for the Vandy grad at Bain to feel superior to the average state U kid that couldn't even get an interview to save their life.

I’ve worked at BCG and went to a small private liberal arts college in the Midwest that you have never heard of. I think the point is that very rarely is there only one way to get where you want to go.

Everyone has their dumb anecdote about how one kid who went to a no-name school did really well but ffs this is not the typical or expected outcome.

You do realize that it's not a rare occurrence for a smart, hard working student to go to a state school (or no-name school) - kick butt - and then succeed in life, right along side others from private schools.....right?

It is a rare occurrence for a smart, hardworking state student with no family connections to end up at elite employers in a client-facing role (Goldman has thousands of employees…they aren’t all investment bankers or traders or quants).

The complaint is it’s always fine for the state U person to brag that the Harvard kid ended up at the same place…but I guess it’s never cool to rag on the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

+1 plus New Orleans is just for partying. I would never go to college in a place I wouldn't be willing to live after school.

Biggest BS I have ever heard…..so you would never go Cornell, Dartmouth, Brown, Princeton, Yale….. I see…

PP. Ithaca yes. Princeton maybe. No to environs of Brown, Dartmouth, and Yale. New Orleans is fun to visit. Would never live there. It's economically-challenged.

[Anonymous]

You sound somewhat immature. Did you and your husband and daughter have a serious/adult discussion about the best course of action for your family? If so, then be confident that you made a good decision given your family’s circumstances and values.

Don’t let envy/insecurity dictate how you feel .
You should be helping your daughter feel good about her options. You are the adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reads like a troll post. Maybe it isn’t but it definitely reads like one.

I'm not trolling. I think I really messed up when I see where people get in and we should have applied more broadly.

This is the season of regrets and second guessing. Even if you apply to 20 schools (which my DD did), there will always be the what ifs and if I'd only...