So many regrets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we advised dd all wrong when I see kids with lower stats and scores getting into schools like Tulane. Our reasoning was that they are not as affordable as in-state, we get no financial aid anywhere so we needed to think about cost, making sure we can help her down the line with grad school, housing. But now I feel like dd worked so hard for absolutely nothing and I have massive regret. Maybe we should have been more open to spending a lot for college.

If you were full pay then you probably saved $50K/year. Take that $200K and put it into an S&P account in the 45 years between their graduation and when social security kicks in for them, that account will have accreted to $4million adjusted for inflation. Now they will have a comfortable retirement no matter what they do for a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

I can think of 5 public schools that are ahead of vanderbilt in finance.

Berekley
UCLA
Michigan
UVA
UT Austin

And Vanderbilt is definitely not a noticable presence at KKR and Goldman. It's not like harvard, penn or even berkeley.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

Vandy doesn't have a huge presence on The Street. It might be more than PP's "average state school," whatever that was, but it's not a known feeder like Penn, Cornell, Williams, Bucknell, Middlebury, and the like.

OK...you are kind of missing the point. Replace The Street with Bain Consulting.

I just don't understand why people flex the equivalent of "I went to average state U and have average professional job and I love to rag on the Vandy person that also has average professional job"...yet rightfully so, nobody thinks it's cool for the Vandy grad at Bain to feel superior to the average state U kid that couldn't even get an interview to save their life.

I’ve worked at BCG and went to a small private liberal arts college in the Midwest that you have never heard of. I think the point is that very rarely is there only one way to get where you want to go.

Everyone has their dumb anecdote about how one kid who went to a no-name school did really well but ffs this is not the typical or expected outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same, I need to stop checking in here but I can’t stop myself. Then someone will bump an old thread out of nowhere and trigger it all back up again.

For me it's here but also those high school admissions instagram pages. This mom who is very unkind had a similarly unkind kid accepted where my ds was deferred from. I can't help but feel shitty about it, even though I know it's completely immature and pointless.

Too bad that "kindness" is not something they evaluate in college admissions committees, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think f your child is going to the state school in the end working as if you are going Ivy is a huge waste of time and energy.

Work smart not hard.

You must not be in Virginia because if you want to get into UVA or W&M you better work like you're going Ivy.

Believe me, plenty of high stats hard-working kids didn't get into those schools.

+1. This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

I hate this analogy...so everyone, let's stop using it. Grad school is often a complete waste of money and only 35% of college graduates pursue it.

Let's stick to the better script...which is plenty of people achieve from any school.

First of all, nerd, 35% is a lot. But OK, how about a different analogy? The OP's kid graduates from their cheap school and ends up working in a cubicle next to one of those average stat kids whose parents bought their way into Tulane ED. Who's going to have regret then?

I worked alongside a Vandy grad at my first job out of a very average university. He mentioned it at least once a day just like the guy in The Office would bring up Cornell. My response was always the same: "We work the same job at the same company."

I doubt that made him regret attending Vandy though.

His old man might have regretted dropping 140 G's on it (roughly the four-year COA back then) if he'd known I paid next to nothing for a lower-ranked school and ended up at the same place as his kid.

So...should the Vandy grads that ended up working at KKR and Goldman and equivalent get to feel absolutely superior to you and other "average state school" grads that were never even remotely considered for an interview?

I can think of 5 public schools that are ahead of vanderbilt in finance.

Berekley
UCLA
Michigan
UVA
UT Austin

And Vanderbilt is definitely not a noticable presence at KKR and Goldman. It's not like harvard, penn or even berkeley.

Again...those aren't your "average state schools" as PP mentioned. Those are the top flagships in the country.

I guarantee that person wouldn't have shared their anecdote if they had gone to UCB or UVA.

[Anonymous]

I think one of the worst financial mistakes parents can make is to think “we’ll make it work somehow” if DS gets into some OOS or private school. That’s a lot of extra money going out the door and not just for tuition. Trips home, etc all add up rapidly. I work with parents who are still in debt years later. Don’t let this intense period of time and comparison with other parents and their kids make you feel bad about what sounds like a very wise decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

Not really, because the Tulane parents are focused on their kid. Best choice for that family.

Plus, a kid with those stats aren't likely to get admitted to Tulane anyways.

You can step off the short bus and into Tulane if you apply ED, TO, and full pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

Not really, because the Tulane parents are focused on their kid. Best choice for that family.

Plus, a kid with those stats aren't likely to get admitted to Tulane anyways.

You can step off the short bus and into Tulane if you apply ED, TO, and full pay.

I don’t have any view on this issue but got a solid laugh out of this comment, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the worst financial mistakes parents can make is to think “we’ll make it work somehow” if DS gets into some OOS or private school. That’s a lot of extra money going out the door and not just for tuition. Trips home, etc all add up rapidly. I work with parents who are still in debt years later. Don’t let this intense period of time and comparison with other parents and their kids make you feel bad about what sounds like a very wise decision.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the worst financial mistakes parents can make is to think “we’ll make it work somehow” if DS gets into some OOS or private school. That’s a lot of extra money going out the door and not just for tuition. Trips home, etc all add up rapidly. I work with parents who are still in debt years later. Don’t let this intense period of time and comparison with other parents and their kids make you feel bad about what sounds like a very wise decision.

In some ways, I was secretly glad when DC was rejected from the top private ivies. We would get no aid; we'd have to be full pay, and it would hurt.

Still, I did feel badly for DC getting rejected to those top schools with those high stats.

But DC is happy that they will graduate with money in their pocket from the leftover 529 by going to in state flagship with merit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the worst financial mistakes parents can make is to think “we’ll make it work somehow” if DS gets into some OOS or private school. That’s a lot of extra money going out the door and not just for tuition. Trips home, etc all add up rapidly. I work with parents who are still in debt years later. Don’t let this intense period of time and comparison with other parents and their kids make you feel bad about what sounds like a very wise decision.

College is an investment.

In the education realm, parents spend their entire lives and sacrifice a lot for their kids. My kids are worth the investment. The trips to Cancun can wait 4 more years. We saved so we don't have to have a huge "in state vs OOS" debate.

You do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

Not really, because the Tulane parents are focused on their kid. Best choice for that family.

Plus, a kid with those stats aren't likely to get admitted to Tulane anyways.

You can step off the short bus and into Tulane if you apply ED, TO, and full pay.

What a joke of a comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the worst financial mistakes parents can make is to think “we’ll make it work somehow” if DS gets into some OOS or private school. That’s a lot of extra money going out the door and not just for tuition. Trips home, etc all add up rapidly. I work with parents who are still in debt years later. Don’t let this intense period of time and comparison with other parents and their kids make you feel bad about what sounds like a very wise decision.

College is an investment.

In the education realm, parents spend their entire lives and sacrifice a lot for their kids. My kids are worth the investment. The trips to Cancun can wait 4 more years. We saved so we don't have to have a huge "in state vs OOS" debate.

You do you.

dp.. speaking of investments, typically, the ROI from going to in state vs oos doesn't make that much of a difference, all things being equal (top public vs lower tier, majors).

Going OOS may have intangible benefits and factors, but strictly speaking of ROI, most of the time, it doesn't make sense to go oos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents who blew their wad on ED to Tulane with a 3.3/1260/27 will be the ones with regrets when their kid ends up at the same grad/law/business school as your kid from Cheaperthan U and you're still sitting on a fat pile.

Not really, because the Tulane parents are focused on their kid. Best choice for that family.

Plus, a kid with those stats aren't likely to get admitted to Tulane anyways.

You can step off the short bus and into Tulane if you apply ED, TO, and full pay.

I don’t have any view on this issue but got a solid laugh out of this comment, thanks.

The comment itself is laughable.