I forgot my friend’s kid’s nut allergy
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Anonymous
No, I don’t think she’s perfectly safe even in my home. That’s not possible for any kid and certainly not for a kid with a serious allergy. So I only leave her in the care of trusted adults. The kind who would be mortified if they made a mistake like this, not seeking an excuse. |
Anonymous
That's the whole point. OP was trusted until she wasn't. Can happen to anyone. Telling people "Fine don't host!" Might make you feel good but it won't help. |
Anonymous
I disagree. If you’re taking responsibility for people’s kids, take that seriously. Same goes for closing pool gates, or any other normal response to a known hazard. If you’re the kind of person who is horrified and mortified for one paragraph and in the second paragraph want to shift the blame to the eleven year old, please do everyone a favor and don’t host. |
Anonymous
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Closing a pool gate when toddlers are around is not the same thing as a bowl of wrapped candy bars, some of which contain nuts, to a group of 11 year olds!
Parents who think the world is responsible for their kid with nut allergies would be better never leaving their side. |
Anonymous
Allergy parents have been described as helicopter micromanagers in this thread. The parent of the child with the nut allergy clearly parented well. She raised her son to politely decline. He kept himself safe. OP is the one posting and she’s embarrassed. This worked out the way it was supposed to because the allergic child’s mother’s parenting was effective. |
Anonymous
You never know what can happen when you drop your kid off somewhere. Just keep rolling those dice. |
Anonymous
Exactly this. The “ope, what a goof” attitude is the problem, not the mistake. Neither my ILs nor my parents may watch my kids overnight because when they make mistakes about nuts—and they have MANY times—they get defensive, they don’t listen, they don’t take it seriously, they don’t own it, and they don’t carefully listen to reminders and instructions. They have refused to watch as DH and I demonstrate how to use an epi-pen. Oh well! Their loss. We use trusted, responsible sitters and nannies who listen and take life-threatening allergies seriously. |
Anonymous
This! OP made a completely understandable mistake. Fortunately there were no negative consequences. She is “mortified” and apologized. All good. Things go wrong in the OP when she tries to shift the blame. Some who is actually mortified would accept she screwed up and move on. Rather than try to turn the incident into a “my helicopter friend should have been better about it”. |
Anonymous
It was effective. But that mother also didn't barge into the home and read every label or have the rundown of the food that might be served in advance. But by training her kid, he was prepared. |
Anonymous
| I would blast you for encouraging tweens to mindlessly eat junky candy during a movie. What’s wrong with sliced fruit? Or heck even popcorn? |
Anonymous
Nobody gives a thought to the diabetics at all. |
Anonymous
Because as the child ages and becomes independent, the goal switches from protecting them at all costs by total avoidance, to living independently with the risk of anaphylaxis in the wider world (work place potlucks, friends or relatives who add allergenic ingredients, etc). This mean, for a large number of kids like my son, that they will be tested for IgEs, and if their level for that allergen is low enough, the allergist will decide to do a food challenge: have them eat a graduated and progressive larger amount of the allergen, in the office, under close supervision of doctors and nurses, Epipen at the ready. If the patient manages to eat all the mini cups of food, they are deemed "successful", and are allowed to ingest very small portions of that food outside of the doctor's office, to "maintain" their reduced sensitivity to it. For my son this translates to the fact he can accidentally ingest a couple of peanuts and not drop dead immediately. His allergy to almonds has largely disappeared, and he can have a normal portion of dessert with almonds. He can have a couple of pecans, a few walnuts. He still has to be very careful with pistachios (he failed the food challenge and the nurse jabbed him with an Epipen) and hazelnuts, which is a shame, because chocolates with fillings often have pralines, which are made with hazelnuts. The point is for the adult patient to eat a bite, realize due to symptoms that it contains a deadly allergen, call 911, stick themselves with the Epipen... but that their lowered sensitivity will allow them to survive with a much greater probability than if they had not had that consistent exposure. Some patients never reach that stage, because their allergies are too severe. And some should consistently expose themselves, but don't, because their anaphylactic reactions in the past have been so traumatizing that they can't bring themselves to eat tiny amounts of the allergen in question - which I can understand, of course. My own son isn't very good at eating the occasional half-peanut, or whatever. I would too, if I were him. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
Not buying it. Our prolific troll is back. |
Anonymous
NP. That’s not what happened. What happened is someone literally asked “what would make your kid feel safe in my home,” a parent whose kid has a nut allergy answered with clear instructions, and then the poster rudely said “that’s too much, we won’t invite you.” THAT is the response that warrants a “fine, don’t host.” Any decent person would say, “That’s all good to know, and it will help me talk to the parents and make a plan for their kid to come over.” And that would warrant a “Thank you!” |