I forgot my friend’s kid’s nut allergy

[Anonymous]

You f’d up. It’s ok, but you did mess up, so don’t downplay it.
The other mom was upset & more harsh than needed.
You both need to give each other grace and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Has your throat ever closed up from forgetting a water bottle? How do you make it through the day without basic reading comprehension?

[Anonymous]

There's a lot of people in this thread so dependent on food for their emotional regulation that they can't handle it when someone says something negative about food, like how it can hurt kids with allergies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Has your throat ever closed up from forgetting a water bottle? How do you make it through the day without basic reading comprehension?

How do you make it through the day trolling as a lifestyle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of people in this thread so dependent on food for their emotional regulation that they can't handle it when someone says something negative about food, like how it can hurt kids with allergies

There are too many allergens to cater to everyone. An 11 yr old can read labels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Has your throat ever closed up from forgetting a water bottle? How do you make it through the day without basic reading comprehension?

How do you make it through the day trolling as a lifestyle?

This makes no sense. Troll fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of people in this thread so dependent on food for their emotional regulation that they can't handle it when someone says something negative about food, like how it can hurt kids with allergies

There are too many allergens to cater to everyone. An 11 yr old can read labels.

So don’t “cater to everyone”. But tell parents before they leave their children with you— especially their dangerously allergic children— that you don’t do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This can’t be a true story when 11yos are involved. If true, your friend is way out of line. There are nuts in the world and an 11 yo is old enough to navigate that.

OP here. It is true, but not difficult to understand if you know my friend. She’s very much a helicopter parent and there’s a lot of codependence and micromanaging. Still, she trusted me enough to remember something important, and I blew it.

Gee, do you think she’s micromanaging and helicopter-y because a lot of adults like you have “blown it” and act like it’s a “goof”?

Did helicopter mom tell OP that her house must be entirely nut free in order for her son to be there? That's an impossible standard for a house that isn't already nut free.

That’s not what it’s about. It’s very hard on a kid when a trusted adult or a grandparent/aunt/whomever—who has known about the allergy for years—“goofs.” It makes them feel unsafe with someone they are supposed to trust.

Good god. Please. The world is not responsible for kowtowing to the needs of every kid with an allergy. Really sick of this mentality. This 11 year old needs to toughen up and recognize that it is his job to navigate it. And whining to your helicopter mom is a sure fire way to find yourself uninvited to the next event.

Food allergies are becoming more common, not less.

In my 10 y/o nieces class, the most popular girl has a nut allergy. The “goof” parent who serves her something dangerous and then tries to blame her for it is the one whose kid will suffer the social consequences, no matter how much of a DCUM keyboard warrior they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are missing the candy was in a bag mixed in with some candies with nuts and some without handed out WHILE the kids were watching a movie. That is an easy time for a kid to let their guard down. You are engrossed in a movie you eat a plain chocolate candy think the bag is all plain chocolate and absentmindedly grab another one and eat it not realizing it has nuts.

Agreed. And eleven year old should read labels and have their epi pen etc etc., but they are still very much a kid.
OP made a mistake in that it was a dicey situation that could have easily been avoided. Maybe the other mom could have handled it better, but the OP needs to stop making excuses for herself.

She. Apologized. But the other mother wants a pound of flesh. I'd be done with that mom and kid. Too much trouble, too much entitlement.

No. Read the OP. She “goofed”. Other mother called her on it in what she claims was a nasty txt. She apologized. Apparently it is all smoothed over. Other mom has moved on - no evidence of pound of flesh. But then she comes on here and explains how the mom was nasty, how she is a bit neurotic, etc.

So who is the drama queen exactly?

She did? She called the mom neurotic? I was one of the posters who thought OP messed up but the mom with the nasty text was out of line. This makes me think OP is the nasty one. Neurotic is not the word you use to describe a mom whose child has a life threatening allergy. You have to be really strict about it or else your child might die. and if you don't understand that OP you're a gross person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You f’d up. It’s ok, but you did mess up, so don’t downplay it.
The other mom was upset & more harsh than needed.
You both need to give each other grace and move on.

Nah. Welcome her son to the world where not everything revolves around him.

Actually, I would just apologize and move on. If it happens again apologize and move on. Repeat if necessary. Seriously, it is a courtesy to accommodate him, but fundamentally it's his responsibility. At 11, he is old enough to do this for himself. I would have a totally different reaction if you told me he was 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of people in this thread so dependent on food for their emotional regulation that they can't handle it when someone says something negative about food, like how it can hurt kids with allergies

There are too many allergens to cater to everyone. An 11 yr old can read labels.

So don’t “cater to everyone”. But tell parents before they leave their children with you— especially their dangerously allergic children— that you don’t do so.

So. Much. Drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I appreciate all the responses. My friend was more concerned that her son would have a reaction, either physical or psychological, if people were eating nuts near him, not that he would eat something he shouldn’t. I guess there’s more to this than simple ingestion. I’m learning!

If he is susceptible to airborne allergens, this would have been a focus for years. I bet she's exaggerating that concern.

If she's concerned that an 11 yo will get upset because others are eating nuts in his presence, she's way too protective, and not doing her son any favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You f’d up. It’s ok, but you did mess up, so don’t downplay it.
The other mom was upset & more harsh than needed.
You both need to give each other grace and move on.

Nah. Welcome her son to the world where not everything revolves around him.

Actually, I would just apologize and move on. If it happens again apologize and move on. Repeat if necessary. Seriously, it is a courtesy to accommodate him, but fundamentally it's his responsibility. At 11, he is old enough to do this for himself. I would have a totally different reaction if you told me he was 5.

What’s up with the ugly posts? The 11 year old took care of himself like a boss as he was raised to do.