Impossible to find love as a minority woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 35-year-old Asian male with four younger sisters, ranging from 23 to 29, and all four of them had no issue finding love. One interesting note is that all my BILs are white men, think they hit the lifetime lottery when they married my sisters, LOL.... Two of my BILs are doctors, one is in finance, and another one is a college professor.

Are they attractive? Was there a tradeoff? Are your sisters also successful? I've seen the most attractive Asian women marry Asian men not white men. Usually homely Asian women marry white men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 35-year-old Asian male with four younger sisters, ranging from 23 to 29, and all four of them had no issue finding love. One interesting note is that all my BILs are white men, think they hit the lifetime lottery when they married my sisters, LOL.... Two of my BILs are doctors, one is in finance, and another one is a college professor.

I don’t see as many white men with south Asian women. In our UMC neighborhood, there are so many mixed Asian families, most of them are white and East Asian.

It's a religious or cultural thing not found on true love but persuaded by their parents to marry within the culture. My non white brother was married to a gorgeous south Asian woman as teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 35-year-old Asian male with four younger sisters, ranging from 23 to 29, and all four of them had no issue finding love. One interesting note is that all my BILs are white men, think they hit the lifetime lottery when they married my sisters, LOL.... Two of my BILs are doctors, one is in finance, and another one is a college professor.

Are they attractive? Was there a tradeoff? Are your sisters also successful? I've seen the most attractive Asian women marry Asian men not white men. Usually homely Asian women marry white men.

Asian American here. You do realize there are billions of Asians in this world. We are all very different. I’m an ivy educated Asian American married to a similar Asian American man. Many of my friends who are similar to me married white guys. I dated mostly white guys before I was married.

One joke Asian guys say is that there will always be some white guy willing to marry an ugly Asian girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 years old. MBA from an IVY. Worked and obtained by undergraduate education abroad. I am an ethnic minority. I am told I am beautiful all the time. I am 5'10, size 2, tan skin and long silky black hair. I love to travel for work and for fun. I am make 300k+ working in finance. The one part of my life that absolutely disappoints is my love life.

I keep dating men who have either secret girlfriends or they just want to date casually. My last boyfriend was a good catch. Great family, Ivy educated, good career but he was American and he broke up with me after a year saying I was too international and too "exotic" and he wants a "regular American girl" to bring home to his parents. I was pretty devastated. All of my hard work and education only to have men say I am not "regular" enough to date.

Can a high achieving minority find love in America?

every attractive ethnic minority woman i know (i'm a millennial) that was ivy, med/law/mba, got married at 25-27

your problem is your age.

ethnic women who know what's up know they don't have the same margin for error (age, party reputation etc) as their white sisters.

This got buried several pages back but it’s 100% the truth. Take heed OP and get very intentional about dating NOW.

[Anonymous]

Hello, op?

[Anonymous]

While dating post divorce in my 40s, I've met several white men who claimed that US born Indian women were promiscuous and cheated on them. Maybe OP needs to remove the party line and become more traditional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 years old. MBA from an IVY. Worked and obtained by undergraduate education abroad. I am an ethnic minority. I am told I am beautiful all the time. I am 5'10, size 2, tan skin and long silky black hair. I love to travel for work and for fun. I am make 300k+ working in finance. The one part of my life that absolutely disappoints is my love life.

I keep dating men who have either secret girlfriends or they just want to date casually. My last boyfriend was a good catch. Great family, Ivy educated, good career but he was American and he broke up with me after a year saying I was too international and too "exotic" and he wants a "regular American girl" to bring home to his parents. I was pretty devastated. All of my hard work and education only to have men say I am not "regular" enough to date.

Can a high achieving minority find love in America?

every attractive ethnic minority woman i know (i'm a millennial) that was ivy, med/law/mba, got married at 25-27

your problem is your age.

ethnic women who know what's up know they don't have the same margin for error (age, party reputation etc) as their white sisters.

This got buried several pages back but it’s 100% the truth. Take heed OP and get very intentional about dating NOW.

I got engaged at 27 to my boyfriend who I met when I was 24.

I was just talking to my daughter and I told her that she should get married around age 26.

I remember when I was 26, my mom started pressuring me to get married. I was 26, not 36.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While dating post divorce in my 40s, I've met several white men who claimed that US born Indian women were promiscuous and cheated on them. Maybe OP needs to remove the party line and become more traditional?

Most men don’t want to marry party girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While dating post divorce in my 40s, I've met several white men who claimed that US born Indian women were promiscuous and cheated on them. Maybe OP needs to remove the party line and become more traditional?

USA born Indians and Persian girls are very promiscuous it probably has to do with rebellion against the conservative misogynic cultures they come from

I graduated from GMU in late 90/s lots of Indian and Middle Eastern students. the hot Indian girls were known for sleeping with any half decent white D

The Indian dudes had the worst time. Brown men are generally not attractive to white women and most of their own women wanted to fcuk only white D

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While dating post divorce in my 40s, I've met several white men who claimed that US born Indian women were promiscuous and cheated on them. Maybe OP needs to remove the party line and become more traditional?

USA born Indians and Persian girls are very promiscuous it probably has to do with rebellion against the conservative misogynic cultures they come from

I graduated from GMU in late 90/s lots of Indian and Middle Eastern students. the hot Indian girls were known for sleeping with any half decent white D

The Indian dudes had the worst time. Brown men are generally not attractive to white women and most of their own women wanted to fcuk only white D

lol sounds like OP “party girl” types

[Anonymous]

What advice are you looking for? Or just a rant (which is fine, too)?

[Anonymous]

Could it be that you only eat/cook foods from your ethnic cuisine? There was a guy on the forum a few weeks ago complaining that his wife only ate Korean food.

Otherwise, it could be your height. Most men are under 5'10", and even someone who's 5'10" may not want to date someone equally as tall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 years old. MBA from an IVY. Worked and obtained by undergraduate education abroad. I am an ethnic minority. I am told I am beautiful all the time. I am 5'10, size 2, tan skin and long silky black hair. I love to travel for work and for fun. I am make 300k+ working in finance. The one part of my life that absolutely disappoints is my love life.

I keep dating men who have either secret girlfriends or they just want to date casually. My last boyfriend was a good catch. Great family, Ivy educated, good career but he was American and he broke up with me after a year saying I was too international and too "exotic" and he wants a "regular American girl" to bring home to his parents. I was pretty devastated. All of my hard work and education only to have men say I am not "regular" enough to date.

Can a high achieving minority find love in America?

every attractive ethnic minority woman i know (i'm a millennial) that was ivy, med/law/mba, got married at 25-27

your problem is your age.

ethnic women who know what's up know they don't have the same margin for error (age, party reputation etc) as their white sisters.

This got buried several pages back but it’s 100% the truth. Take heed OP and get very intentional about dating NOW.

I got engaged at 27 to my boyfriend who I met when I was 24.

I was just talking to my daughter and I told her that she should get married around age 26.

I remember when I was 26, my mom started pressuring me to get married. I was 26, not 36.

I was never pressured to get married. Are you white? I'm 2nd generation Hispanic. Pressured in my mid 30s.

[Anonymous]

I’m a decade ahead of you and I got my MBA from a top-5 program. My experience was matched by my friends at Harvard and Stanford. The dating pool can’t get smaller than the claustrophobia of MBA programs, and I can tell you what I saw from my classmates during my time there and after graduation:

-by b-school, successful men are more likely to already be seriously partnered or married. Quality men who are not immature for their age and are ready for adult lives are not common. So your male peer group already shriveled when you chose to go for an MBA. If you’re like me and many, you realized that unconsciously and sought out b-school and a high-powered career because in the back of your head you were preparing for a single-income life.

-during b-school, like associated with like. Rich white guys who went to ivies and NESCAC schools associated with rich white girls with the same background. Sufficiently attractive non-white or non-rich women seemed to be accepted into this group based on their looks

-it’s rare for men to date outside their race unless it’s a white guy with an east Asian woman.

-international men rarely date American women, full stop. But there are tons of international men in MBA programs.

This left a ton of single, accomplished, average-looking white women and gorgeous-looking south Asian and black women asking the same questions as you are after we graduated. Many of my female classmates are still single.

I’ll be brutally honest about myself: I’m a white woman but I’m not rich and I’m homely. Who I wanted to date vs. who wanted to date me? Very little overlap there. White men with similar backgrounds and interests as mine could date far above their level of looks or wealth. So now I am married to a man who is not white and not from the US. It is not a fairytale but his goals matched mine at the time and we had some chemistry.

Some people find the perfect partner, but plenty of us make compromises or settle, and plenty also chose to stay single. It’s just that no one writes about that on their wedding websites.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP, you just sound shallow. I agree with the reference to Tahani from the Good Place.

Do you even have good female friends? Your personality from the little you’ve posted here sounds off-putting. Do you have hobbies besides work and partying? Do you name drop?

I don’t think this has to do with you being South Asian. I think it has to do with you thinking too highly of your ‘credentials’.