Impossible to find love as a minority woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your height is working against you. It eliminated a large % of men. Then add on your education and income and you’re limited to maybe 1% of men.

If you want to marry you need to date nonstop. Approach it like a job.

Where did OP state her height ?

In her OP. She’s 5 foot 10!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you should give Indian men a chance. My DH and many of his friends who graduated from IITs with Ivy MBAs (even without MBA) are making $1million+ in NYC in finance. On top of that my husband loves to cook and is a great dad and husband. However, he looks fairly unassuming, you probably ignore such people but my friends who are married to such guys have the best lives. I am an engineer with an Ivy MBA as well. A couple of my very good looking MBA friends who waited for the perfect package (especially in terms of looks) are still not married. GIve the desi boys a chance, you may be surprised.

You write as if it's so easy for a woman to force herself into a man she doesn't desire sexually!

I say this as an Indian American - if you are living in a country where you are a racial minority and you are not attracted to your own race, you might want to further interrogate that.

[Anonymous]

DC is great for all the multicultural families. Lots of people in DC work in international policy, economic development, and are much more diverse and interested in other cultures than the lax bros you meet in crypto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a dark skinned POC (Indian, black, dark-skinned Latina), please remember that white men ,in particular, age very poorly after about 35. I have POC girlfriends with white spouses and it looks like a May-December situation even though they are the same age (e.g., Kamala and Tim, who are the same age). If looks are important, seek out melanated guys -- they look great throughout the decades.

I bet you look fabulous.

Truly beautiful +smart women (not sexy, many women can do that) have it really hard. Men want easy and want to be considered the prize. They can't do that with women who have $, looks and intelligence.

Consider international. Try the arts scene, culture rather than finance.

What an odd comment. I’m Asian American aging well to another Asian American aging better than me. Yes, his white colleagues do look older but they are still handsome and look distinguished. They are married to white and Asian women. Not many white men married to black or dark Indians in our circles. We do know black couples and Indian couples .

That is an odd comment.

I’m a white guy and 42 and still have a six pack and get asked out a lot. I tend to date younger because they’re more attractive

I’m ex military and a good job, not IVY but definitely successful and only a little taller than OP. I’d date her in a second bit women usually date up and she’s looking for a small percentage of men who match her. And to be honest most guys don’t care about your IVY league degree. They want a woman who is hot and nice to them, that’s about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am South Asian but do not have close family and I grew up across multiple continents so I am not very traditional and the arranged marriage market is not applicable to me.

My two serious boyfriends were of different races. One was German and the last one black American. I love white and black men as long as they’re successful and sophisticated.

For fun I love to travel and party although I’m slowing down as I get older. I love to read business and personal development books. I love yoga and working out.

Stop reading personal development books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is great for all the multicultural families. Lots of people in DC work in international policy, economic development, and are much more diverse and interested in other cultures than the lax bros you meet in crypto.

They don’t make as much as she wants . It’s her height and income limits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men don't care about your advanced degrees. They're not intimidated by you. You're just annoying. Be more pleasant. It's as simple as that.

+1.

And you are full of excuses.

Finding quality partners outside of college is hard for everyone. Many of the men you are interested in are already married.

Buckle up, put yourself out there. Let everyone know are looking. And then relax. Stop with the "woe is me" attitude.

[Anonymous]

All-American white dude here. OP, there’s no problem with your income (my wife out-earns me 5x), or your race, or even your height. But what drips from your post is a focus on credentials (“I have an IVY MBA”), a certain kind of lifestyle (partying, traveling, etc.), and too much emphasis on immediate snap-your-fingers change to get what you want (self-help books). If you’re really 5’10” and gorgeous, your job and income are no impediment to finding love. Focus on being yourself rather than credentials and trying to curate your life for how it will look from the outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While dating post divorce in my 40s, I've met several white men who claimed that US born Indian women were promiscuous and cheated on them. Maybe OP needs to remove the party line and become more traditional?

USA born Indians and Persian girls are very promiscuous it probably has to do with rebellion against the conservative misogynic cultures they come from

I graduated from GMU in late 90/s lots of Indian and Middle Eastern students. the hot Indian girls were known for sleeping with any half decent white D

The Indian dudes had the worst time. Brown men are generally not attractive to white women and most of their own women wanted to fcuk only white D

Agree. I'm a white mid 40s woman and I met a lot of really nice late 30s Indian men who were tall, educated and offered to date them. Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to them (although the guys are not ugly at all!). Probably, the same applies to white men. In general, white people tend to date within their race (with an exception for East Asia)

Not true at all. World-wide, white American men are the ethnicity most likely to marry outside of their race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a dark skinned POC (Indian, black, dark-skinned Latina), please remember that white men ,in particular, age very poorly after about 35. I have POC girlfriends with white spouses and it looks like a May-December situation even though they are the same age (e.g., Kamala and Tim, who are the same age). If looks are important, seek out melanated guys -- they look great throughout the decades.

I bet you look fabulous.

Truly beautiful +smart women (not sexy, many women can do that) have it really hard. Men want easy and want to be considered the prize. They can't do that with women who have $, looks and intelligence.

Consider international. Try the arts scene, culture rather than finance.

What an odd comment. I’m Asian American aging well to another Asian American aging better than me. Yes, his white colleagues do look older but they are still handsome and look distinguished. They are married to white and Asian women. Not many white men married to black or dark Indians in our circles. We do know black couples and Indian couples .

That is an odd comment.

I’m a white guy and 42 and still have a six pack and get asked out a lot. I tend to date younger because they’re more attractive

I’m ex military and a good job, not IVY but definitely successful and only a little taller than OP. I’d date her in a second bit women usually date up and she’s looking for a small percentage of men who match her. And to be honest most guys don’t care about your IVY league degree. They want a woman who is hot and nice to them, that’s about it.

Yes, plenty of white men and women age well and look fantastic in their forties and fifties. Sure, people of color may as a whole look younger but not always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not as successful as you but an MBA making 175k in local government. I am Indian and married a fellow Indian guy who makes 900k. I am only 5’3” but damn cute if I say so myself. I don’t think it’s hard to find love as a POC woman, I dated White Men as well as Indian and Black men, all were good people in their own ways .

I will say one thing though, my criteria was to marry someone whom I loved and shared similar values with. I wasn’t too hung up on earning potential, educated yes but not crazy about money. The tragedy is that the most emotional decision of our lives is often driven by cold calculations whereas it should be an emotional decision from the heart.

The only thing that stood out to me in your post is too much emphasis on your resume plus resume of future spouse but not much emphasis on you or him as a person. Maybe it’s time to sit down and rethink your approach to this whole thing, just my 2 cents. Good luck!

Lmao! If ur husband was emotional and Not Calculative, he wouldn’t be making $900k!

[Anonymous]

Do you have US citizenship or on work visa?

[Anonymous]

25 years ago 85% men made more than their wives, now only 55% do. This should give you some idea.

[Anonymous]

OP — please stop calling yourself a minority. You’re the global majority. Start connecting with people in your community, networking in other communities, etc. Travel. With your income you don’t have to limit yourself. Go younger. And have some fun while you’re at it.

[Anonymous]

LOL. I’m a minority woman and am told on the regular that I’m very pretty and I’ve had no trouble dating and finding a man to marry.