Impossible to find love as a minority woman

[Anonymous]

OP you can find love. First you have to date the right kind of man. Many men are subconsciously insecure when in relationships with successful women. It makes them question what they have to offer, and if you’ll stick around. If a woman can care for herself financially, a man has to add value outside of money, many men are not up for the task. For them it’s easier to date and marry a women with much less than them who will tolerate poor treatment for survival purposes. It’s sad but true.

So you have to get serious about only dating men who are secure. They exist. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Why are you making this about race?

[Anonymous]

It’s not your success. It’s your personality.

I don’t know what it means when someone says they want a “regular girl” or that you’re too exotic. I say this as a fellow minority married to a White man.

Perhaps it’s a combination of your income, height, and work schedule that men find off putting. Nothing you can really do about that but try to date people more like yourself on all levels.

[Anonymous]

OP: if you're South Asian you would be perfect for me.

[Anonymous]

Are you wife material? Do you think you would be a good mother?

Everyone has a type. I’m sure you look very exotic. I doubt you are a basketball player’s type and probably not your typical Wasp’s type either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 years old. MBA from an IVY. Worked and obtained by undergraduate education abroad. I am an ethnic minority. I am told I am beautiful all the time. I am 5'10, size 2, tan skin and long silky black hair. I love to travel for work and for fun. I am make 300k+ working in finance. The one part of my life that absolutely disappoints is my love life.

I keep dating men who have either secret girlfriends or they just want to date casually. My last boyfriend was a good catch. Great family, Ivy educated, good career but he was American and he broke up with me after a year saying I was too international and too "exotic" and he wants a "regular American girl" to bring home to his parents. I was pretty devastated. All of my hard work and education only to have men say I am not "regular" enough to date.

Can a high achieving minority find love in America?

OP, nothing in your post says anything about being a good person, fun person, etc.

[Anonymous]

Start really enjoying life without a partner and when you're truly content without one, they'll find you.

[Anonymous]

Men either cheat on you or don’t want anything long term with you … I don’t think the issue is with you being a successful minority.

It sounds like they don’t take you seriously. Like they think you’re easy; despite all of your accomplishments. The very opposite of intimidation; just flat out disrespect.

I would reflect on how I’m presenting myself in these relationships and how the men are initially responding to me. There have to be some early stage red flags.

[Anonymous]

Why are you capitalizing Ivy if you actually went to one?

Assuming troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: if you're South Asian you would be perfect for me.

You sound desperate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What ethnic minority? Are you African or Indian?

I doubt it.
Indians always have the option of getting suitable matches through arranged marriage network.

[Anonymous]

OK, this is a wild thought but do you ever do regular dates? Or is everything appropriate to your social station?

Here's a litmus test. Take a guy to HersheyPark or Kings Dominion. Wander around a Smithsonian Museum. Go jogging at the Tidal Basin. Invite a group of friends over for cheap alcohol, chips and dip, and bad movies. Baltimore Aquarium. Go crabbing on a pier on the Bay. Volunteer for something mainstream. It might be fun and let people see a different side of you.

The way you describe yourself reminds me slightly of the character Tahani from The Good Place. I loved her character. She was gorgeous and name droppy and always acted "rich" but was a real person with relatable family issues (sibling jealousy). Maybe watch a few shows...at least you'll get a laugh.

[Anonymous]

You work in crypto so your whole business social circle is sleazeballs.

[Anonymous]

It this a weird catfish / pig butcher to get someone to give OP money for a crypto scam?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 years old. MBA from an IVY. Worked and obtained by undergraduate education abroad. I am an ethnic minority. I am told I am beautiful all the time. I am 5'10, size 2, tan skin and long silky black hair. I love to travel for work and for fun. I am make 300k+ working in finance. The one part of my life that absolutely disappoints is my love life.

I keep dating men who have either secret girlfriends or they just want to date casually. My last boyfriend was a good catch. Great family, Ivy educated, good career but he was American and he broke up with me after a year saying I was too international and too "exotic" and he wants a "regular American girl" to bring home to his parents. I was pretty devastated. All of my hard work and education only to have men say I am not "regular" enough to date.

Can a high achieving minority find love in America?

OP, nothing in your post says anything about being a good person, fun person, etc.

OP doesn’t mention being good and fun, but she does mention plenty of things that make for a good spouse….intelligent, hardworking, financially able to support a family. Those are critical elements to a secure man.

Being fun and kind is also important. OP do you think you deliver in those areas?